Can't do it alone anymore

[TBella]

I ended up with PTSD 5 years ago as a result of working for an abusive, violent man, who also had leadership role in church! I also injured my neck working for him & now live with chronic pain. I was sexually abused as a child & also grew up in domestic violence- my dad a Vietnam Vet suffered with PTSD also but went undiagnosed until the 1990's

i also have 7 other medical conditions related/ connected to PTSD! I've had to deal with it alone for past 5 years as all my friends left me & ive not heard from them since telling them I have PTSD & depression! This added deep grief to the mix to deal with as well . 5 years is along time to deal with it all alone & I ve come to the point where I can't do it alone anymore. I need some support & connection!

[TBella]

Thank you for sharing.

Im sorry, I didn't mean to upset you or cause you to be in a bad place.

I do sincerely hope that both you and your friend are ok!

Here to listen & help however I can, whenever you need.

TBella

[Guest_9809]

Hi there TBella. We seem to have a lot of Bella's around lately? So I put the T in this time so as to distinguish between you and the other Bella. (-:

Anyway Bella, I was really just wondering how your weekend has been going? I seem to recall you being around the forums a bit over the past couple of days. You do seem to be making some connections here, which is fantastic, and should help you to feel less alone in the world. You have also been posting some very very helpful and insightful advice around the different threads. Its really good to see. Do you feel as though contributing to the Forums is benefiting you so far? Sure hope so anyway, because I love seeing you around. (-:

Kindest.

Taurus xx

[TBella]

Thanks Taurus

I am finding it benifical, it's been good & helpful to me.

im so glad I joined this forum!

Im feeling bit low & grumpy today- think I'm just exhausted & need good sleep. I just have no energy.

Anyway tomorrow's a new day .

Thanks for thinking of me & for this encouraging post- it's helped me 🙂 Greatly Appreciated.

Take Care

TBella

[Croix]

Dear TBella~

I may have missed your posts elsewhere, if so my apologies - is all ok?

Croix

[TBella]

Hi Croix

No you haven't missed any of my post. I haven't been on much.

1. Had lots going on & not always coping

2. Went over my data limit for month so had to wait until today when new data started.

Today has been very hard day but it's almost over & hoping tomorrow is better.

I have been reading a lot about different medical conditions that I have& find educating myself has been very calming- really helps with anxiety.

Finding natural ways to help my conditions has brought reassurance & a new confidence that I am going to be ok & will get there eventually:) Now the hard part being consistent in my new lifestyle & patient in learning new coping skills.

Thank you so much for your concern & taking the time to check in & see if I'm ok. It means the world to me, especially today.

Hows things for you?

With Much Appreciation

TBella

[Guest_9809]

Hi TBella.

If I recall properly you were seeing a new psychologist specialising in PTSD last week. Would you like to tell us how it went?

I know you said above that you've had a lot going on this past week or two, so perhaps thats just one of those things going on for you.

I'm sorry to hear that today has been particularly hard for you , but its nearly tomorrow already. I too am thinking that tomorrow will be better than today. Here's hoping, for both of us.

When you say that you have been doing some research on a number of different medical conditions, is it the conditions relating to your PTSD, or your physical neck injury? I would be interested in hearing about some of the natural ways to help that you touched on, if you feel like sharing. Whether that is for the mental or the physical.

Well, I know you also have difficulty with decent sleep. So I am wishing you a calm and restful slumber tonight. With the expectation that tomorrow will be so much better than today.

Hugs to you.

Taurus xx

[Croix]

Dear Tbella

Thanks for replying, I'm really glad you did. Ta for the appreciation too - makes me feel better.

Actually I hadn't thought about a data limit, I use NBN and basically use text & email with a bit of YouTube to listen to songs. So I don't go over my limit and tend to forget it can be a worry.

Actually the music side is pretty good, as people here talk about what they like or recommend and then I listen. I get to hear stuff I find I like that I would never have gone to - such as Amy Winehouse. My normal would be much older like Paolo Conti, Janis Joplin.

Coping mechanisms - yes a lot of work, but for me sometimes a must - you too I guess. Consistency is getting better as I get older, maybe one day 100% - I doubt it 🙂

I've just been doing one of my coping tasks, which is to write a memory in the Happy Memories thread. Takes away the present, dive into a moment in the past where the world was good, no tomorrow, just the day.

My next will be to go for a walk with my wife & the Zeppelin dog- watch the rabbits in the torchlight.

I'm glad you find reading up on the illnesses a help, I can imagine knowing that such-and-such is a symptom can be a relief and an explanation, all in one.

Take care TBella

Croix

[TBella]

Hi Taurus

thank you for your post. It is so nice that you remember so much about me & take the time to follow up &see how I'm doing. It makes me feel like I matter- something I seldom feel. I am sure you relate. Thank you

Yes I did go see a new Psychologist last Friday. She seems good & more equipped to help me.

She said I actually have Complex PTSD, not just ya regular PTSD! Whatever that means- I still don't totally understand the difference.

Anyway she said it's going to take a while to work through it all. She emailed me a relaxation/ mindful exercise. Haven't done it yet....shhh don't tell her.

She asked if I like reading. I said yes I love reading about how things work & understanding what's going on in me. So she suggested I go library once a week & get books on nervous system & so on. She explained to me how when you have been through so much trauma it effects your nervous system- it was really interesting.

Anyway I got a book on PTSD- haven't read that on yet. And I got a book on balancing Hormones naturally as I have to come off medication I was on to help with imbalance & ETREME PMS- I mean like I turn into crazy woman.

The books been very educational & relieved my anxiety about coming of medication.

It mostly puts it down to eating low GI diet and supplements/vitamins & exercise. Apparently that's suppose to help serotonin levels also.

I shall keep you updated as I learn more.

I want to get a book on the nervous system next & learn about that.

Thank you for your hugs & well wishes for a good sleep. Likewise I wish you the best sleep ever 😴

And a beautiful day when you wake 😀

X TBella

[TBella]

Thanks Croix

I just read your latest memory, loved it, awesome. I really wish you make it into a book.

Please don't stop writing it's not only helping you to cope, it's helping so many others also. Awesome gift you have!

Thank you for sharing & caring enough to help others & check in on others to make sure we're ok!

Have yourself a wonderful walk & weekend.

And yes I agree music is a healer & saviour. I love singing & writing songs, many times, especially my teens, it's the only thing that got me through. Another great, powerful gift is music 🎶

Thanks again

TBella 😊

[Starwolf]

TBella, I'm so glad your psy is encouraging you to learn about the "mechanical" side of things. Not only does knowing how it all functions helps us work on repairs but it also helps realize it is something affecting you but not caused by you. It becomes less personal... a mechanism thrown out of whack !

There is a website you may find useful and interesting : NIMH. Brain basics.

Wishing you a peaceful day.