PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Carlawinkleberry Domestic abuse causing problems years later
  • replies: 1

Morning I’ve never actually posted in a forum or spoken about my history with anybody but friends and family. I was in a domestically abusive relationship for 5 years. I have a son from that relationship. It’s been 7 years since I walked away but I h... View more

Morning I’ve never actually posted in a forum or spoken about my history with anybody but friends and family. I was in a domestically abusive relationship for 5 years. I have a son from that relationship. It’s been 7 years since I walked away but I have suffered (what I believe, never diagnosed) with severe anxiety and highs and lows ever since. I have been married to my current husband since November 2012 and we have 3 beautiful kids together. Our youngest is 6 weeks old. Within the last week I have felt so so low. Have lost all my energy and strength to be their mother. I able only making it through each day I don’t know how. I don’t want to get out of bed most days and takes it out of me to continue to do it. I think all of what I’ve been through has ended me up to this point now and I need help. I don’t want To miss my children growing up because I feel this way. I have felt the anxiety before after children were born but this time it’s worse and so different. Everything just seems pointless. It’s is physically hard to do anything because I’m so exhausted. I think my kids deserve a better mother and I feel like a failure to them. I don’t feel as connected to my youngest baby the way I did with her siblings. I love her but I’m not as connectEd with her. I don’t really like talking on the phone and I’m terrified that if I saw someone locally they would take my kids away. I’ve never been able to get my license because of anxiety problems and I’m not qualified for anything. My first son was born straight after graduating school. And I’ve done nothing else with my life since. I feel pathetic. I want to be better for my children because they deserve it. I want to feel stronger then I am right now. It’s is just embarrassing to say any of this at all.

Shirlee Hello everyone, thank you for also being a member, allows us to chat about sometimes difficult issues.
  • replies: 5

I have a DSP claim coming up in 2 weeks fory JCA, I was wondering what to expect.I have diagnosed PTSD and very high anxiety.I need to be ready for my assessment, I have given 3 year's of treatment history and my clinical psychologist report.Is there... View more

I have a DSP claim coming up in 2 weeks fory JCA, I was wondering what to expect.I have diagnosed PTSD and very high anxiety.I need to be ready for my assessment, I have given 3 year's of treatment history and my clinical psychologist report.Is there anything els I need to do? My beloved brother committed suicide late 2016 so my emotional levels are very high and exacerbated PTSD and loss and grief. Any kind words of advice and confidence with the system which does tend to fail a lot of people who need help. Please feel free to leave a comment..ShirleeS

Owlie89 Am I in an abusive relationship? [Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse]
  • replies: 8

Hello, I've been with my fiance for nine years. Our wedding is scheduled for later this year. However he has lately become more and more explosive when I don't feel like having sex because I'm on medication which affects my libido. For example, last ... View more

Hello, I've been with my fiance for nine years. Our wedding is scheduled for later this year. However he has lately become more and more explosive when I don't feel like having sex because I'm on medication which affects my libido. For example, last night it was his birthday and I was feeling sick and did not want to have sex so he pushed me off the bed and kicked me when I was down on the floor. He said I ruined his birthday, even though I took him out to breakfast and bought him multiple gifts and put a lot of effort and thought into the day. When he is angry he tells me I'm not intellectual enough, that I drag him down and that I'm a horrible, mean and nasty person. He says that I have the intellectual and emotional capacity of a child and that it is hard work being in a relationship with me. He says no one else would put up with me or love me like he does. The last time we had a fight he tore all my clothes from the wardrobe and snapped all the coat hangers. Then he turns around and acts sweet the next day like nothing happened. He also says that everything bad in the relationship is my fault. I'm actually scared now of entering into a marriage with someone who constantly belittles me in arguments. He even said if I ever talk about our relationship to anyone I know then I will have to get out and leave. Is it normal for people to act like that when they are angry/arguing? Is it normal for your partner to insult your intelligence and blame you for everything? Other people think of me as a very polite, thoughtful and caring person and no one else in my life would describe me the way he does. Am I over reacting? Should I be worried? Is this verbal/emotional abuse? Or just someone with a temper? I feel really confused and worried. Thank you.

rose_the_pan I’ve been lying to my family for 6 years.
  • replies: 2

When I was 8, a terrifying fear came alive. My parents were going through a divorce at the time and it would tear them apart to find out. This was the first step in my adventures that would cease to end. Once my parents spilt was final, another probl... View more

When I was 8, a terrifying fear came alive. My parents were going through a divorce at the time and it would tear them apart to find out. This was the first step in my adventures that would cease to end. Once my parents spilt was final, another problem arose; my mother would withhold custody from my father if she knew what his brother did to her daughter. She even liked to talk about how “if that man had ever touched you, tell me and I will make sure that I tell your father you’re not going there ever again” she didn’t mean it as a threat to me but I still remember the imminent danger it possessed. I was only 8. Years later and these were the things constantly weighing me down and always at the back of my mind. Then I was 14 and my father sat my sister and I down to talk about why we were so afraid of his brother and that our fear of him was merely a product of my mother’s manipulation. I then broke down and began telling the tale of when my uncle sexually harassed me. He stood up and walked out of the room, no words spoken. We went to my nonno’s funeral that day and later on at the wake, my father pulls me aside and tells me my uncle has a chemical imbalance in his brain, that makes him more sexual but he takes medication for it so it’s under control. This was honestly the excuse he had to say that I had to have been lying. Now, my 2 year old sister that I don’t live with is apparently my uncle’s “favourite niece” and I’m so scared because I know it will happen to her eventually but there’s nothing I can do about it without losing my dad. It breaks me down further and further in so many ways. I don’t know what do anymore.

dolma acute trauma
  • replies: 2

hi, not sure if this is the correct title to use. I have experienced a very traumatic event recently and i am trying to look after myself. i am a very strong person and have been through a lot of stress during my life. My son fell 15 metres and as su... View more

hi, not sure if this is the correct title to use. I have experienced a very traumatic event recently and i am trying to look after myself. i am a very strong person and have been through a lot of stress during my life. My son fell 15 metres and as sustained multiple injuries including a brain injury. He was in a coma at the scene, then put in an induced coma in intensive care. outlook was grim. He is progressing really well. The outcome is positive but i feel that because of my previous life experiences and other trauma in my life i am struggling to be positive. People say how great it is, a miracle. It is a miracle, but there is a lot of practical stuff i have to deal with and it is life changing for him and me. I am scared. I feel a bit numb.

LittleLostB Nowhere to go
  • replies: 4

Hi to everyone who takes time to read this. I’m looking for some advice on how to deal with my current situation. My de facto partner of 7 years broke up with me one month ago. He has told me his reason is because he wants to sleep with other women a... View more

Hi to everyone who takes time to read this. I’m looking for some advice on how to deal with my current situation. My de facto partner of 7 years broke up with me one month ago. He has told me his reason is because he wants to sleep with other women and he likes his freedom (i.e. not having to think about me or have me wondering where he is at night). He broke up with me 2 days before my birthday and on the same day deleted a majority of photos on social media - making me feel as if I never existed. During our relationship I felt like he lived 2 separate lives - I was frequently excluded from his social life. And at the end of his relationship I became so aware of the fact that I had never even met some of his closest friends that he would see regularly. During the first 3 weeks of the break up I was living with my mother (with no where else to go). I have a bad history with my mother who during my teenage years kicked me out of home - without going into detail, it was an event that has traumatised me (PTSD). So when living with her again I felt uncomfortable and problems began to crop up again with her being emotionally abusive towards me. A huge argument has left me with no option but to go back to my ex boyfriends house and I also feel the need to now cut all contact from my mother. So, now my current problem is that I feel I should be away from my ex and move on. Hard to do when I have no where else to go (no other relatives and I only have 1 friend but I don’t want to live with her). My ex is also telling me he loves me and keeps bringing up marriage in the future and asking me to support him through his own personal problems - treating me like a secret gf? He also is forcing sex on me. I am on affordable housing wait list but am told the wait is around 1 year. I am not earning enough to rent privately and am currently looking for a new job. Please help! I don’t know what to do and I’m feeling very alone.

JJ41 PTSD and the military, the big problem.
  • replies: 1

I did 20+ years in military, multiple tours. And I don't have PTSD. And a lot of soldiers coming back don't either. I'd like to address a couple of points which I think the public has become mixed up on, with the best of intentions, but is actually e... View more

I did 20+ years in military, multiple tours. And I don't have PTSD. And a lot of soldiers coming back don't either. I'd like to address a couple of points which I think the public has become mixed up on, with the best of intentions, but is actually effecting soldiers chances of returning to normal life. The first is this assumption "most soldiers probably have PTSD" is effecting their chances of employment. One of the best things can happen to a soldier with or without PTSD is to be able to transition into civilian life... Via a JOB!. Particularly for mature aged soldiers the assumption they may be prone to PTSD, even extreme violence or suicide is not doing any favours. Previously, an armed services background was CV booster, its starting to swing the other way again. The second is soldier attitudes towards PTSD, too many treating pensions as a cash cow. Its an unfortunate reality that any system will be abused by some, and if its easy to abuse that some becomes many. The boys have the routes, doctors, best psychs to see, advocates and performances mapped out. I warn them if we overload the system the government will make it harder to approve, stop indexing or tax the current pensions (They are starting to do this already)Then the folks really needing the support will not get it, and we will be back with vietnam era support= Zero. I also don't like the heavy drug protocols they recommend for soldiers reporting with any depressive issues. Too often they start with a mild complaint, go direct to anti depressants, end up on anti-psychotics with addictions and suicide issues. This is the wrong direction for treatment! The US is starting to have a strong look at this and I hope Australia will soon too Some facts on soldiers which may or may not interest folk. 1. Only 1 in 7 soldiers have combat related roles. For every front line corps there are 6 cooks, drivers, medics, bandsmen, storeman, mechanics, dentists, callibrationists, etc. 2. Despite the Middle East being not a very nice place, and the risk of bombings, Australias role was not high combat risk in this war. 40 something deaths over 10 years still makes it safer than underground coalmining or offshore fishing. Not less fear no, but not the level the public assumes either. The facts and breakup of general soldiering do not support all the claims of "battle and bloodshed'. Most soldiers in fact will never see or hear of a person being killed in their area during a 6 month deployment.

Mano88 Emotional abuse? I don’t know.
  • replies: 4

So, my husband and I have been together for nearly 6 years and have 2 kids. Having kids made things hard. Our first was unplanned as we were only together 6 months when we fell pregnant. He is really tough on him and expects a lot. I find myself tell... View more

So, my husband and I have been together for nearly 6 years and have 2 kids. Having kids made things hard. Our first was unplanned as we were only together 6 months when we fell pregnant. He is really tough on him and expects a lot. I find myself telling the kids to do this or that before daddy gets home otherwise they’ll get in big trouble. Or I will. He seems to blame me when the kids leave a mess with toys or food. I can’t watch them every second of the day. The house is never clean because I don’t have time and gets dirty about it even though we both work. He says it doesn’t bother him but as soon as he walks in, you can see it on his face. Everything always seems to be my fault and I’m just always wondering what he is going to jump on me for next. It’s like I’m always walking on egg shells to be safe and I feel like I have to be a referee between my 4.5yr old and husband. I love him but I don’t know if I’m actually happy. We seem to fight a lot and I just don’t know what to do. I’m on medication for post natal depression since having our 2 year old. But it doesn’t seem to be helping or there’s just more to it. I’ve discussed us getting counseling but he won’t because he would have to take a day off work. His family is also an issue but he won’t see it. They don’t seem to care about our youngest and it bugs me. There’s more to it but just to hard to type. any theories? thank you.

Friendly_guy Find it a bit hard I fall apart but I hide it
  • replies: 3

Hi I struggle a bit in life but I hidde it well most of the time if anyone would see me they would think his a happy friendly guy nice family but inside I struggle . Maybe should tell you a little about what happened I was a bit behind if reading, sp... View more

Hi I struggle a bit in life but I hidde it well most of the time if anyone would see me they would think his a happy friendly guy nice family but inside I struggle . Maybe should tell you a little about what happened I was a bit behind if reading, spelling, writing, when I was a school the teacher would pull be up I front of class and make fun of me get the kids to laugh at me because of this and the teacher hit few times. I just did not understand spelling words writing there was so much confusion I can still feel those moments I was only 6 year old my father was so horrible to mum I seen some really horrible things one of those times I remember mum screaming at me get your brother and sister and run to her friends house I was 8 years old Mum one day called me inside I was playing outside with my sister and brother not doing anything wrong but mum called. Me in looked mad started screaming at me shaking me like mad she keeps screaming why you do that why you do that. But I did nuthing I went flying and all. My. To be hurt at the age of 9 so much confusion if my. Mind All this things play in my mind like a movie ever now and then I tryed to live with it but the confusion hits me like I was just there some times I'll have a tear come Down I get migraine headaches from the stress I feel so bad went I get sick from. Work feel like Im letting them down and my family there so many more bad things almost feels never ending I feel bad for wanting things. Because I feel selfish and sad. I don't do well talk to counselors I just wish I could make it all stop. Maybe some some can tell me a, way to to help myself get better

Dee70 Dying inside.
  • replies: 7

Hi I’m Dee, I can’t actually pinpoint 1 thing that makes me feel like a failure, maybe my parents drunken fights I witnessed growing up, or the stranger that tried touching me as a child, or mum leaving when I was 11 leaving us 3 with our cruel physi... View more

Hi I’m Dee, I can’t actually pinpoint 1 thing that makes me feel like a failure, maybe my parents drunken fights I witnessed growing up, or the stranger that tried touching me as a child, or mum leaving when I was 11 leaving us 3 with our cruel physically abusive dad which I bore the brunt of, or maybe my first serious relationship which was seven yrs of cheating and bashing’s, on his part, or waking up one morning to find my baby boy red eyed and distressed from his dad hurting him, resulting in my son being taken into care, I didn’t hurt him, I never imagined his dad would be, or the last 11 yrs with a narcissist who controlled every aspect of my life, that I finally left 8mths ago, only now I have no confidence, and hate myself and, I’m broken and need help.