Dear all, This is my first time visiting Beyond Blue. I have got to the
point wherein I feel I need to meet others that also struggle. If you
don't mind, I wish to share my story. I have been married three times!
My first wife was abusive, both physi...
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Dear all, This is my first time visiting Beyond Blue. I have got to the
point wherein I feel I need to meet others that also struggle. If you
don't mind, I wish to share my story. I have been married three times!
My first wife was abusive, both physically and mentally, and after
numerous years of trying, we separated. We went to marriage councillors
and they could not help, as she was aggressive and refused to believe
that she was doing anything wrong. She struggled with her own issues,
due to her father being a violent alcoholic. After we split up, she took
her our two children and moved down the road. After 6 weeks of us
splitting up, she moved a new man into the house and told the children
they had to call him 'Daddy' now. This was incredibly difficult and
confusing and resulted in a lot of disagreements. She fell pregnant to
him that year, whilst we were still married, and then told me that she
was moving to NZ with him, and i could either stay or come over. I had
met someone else in that time and was a year away from finishing a
contract as a theatre director so decided to go, as I did not want to be
without my children. When my children left for NZ, I was devastated. I
sunk into a very deep depression and struggled to work and socialise. I
missed them so much and could not stop crying. The woman I met tried to
comfort me and during this depressive state, I asked her to marry me,
which I should not have, as I knew I was not in love with her, but I
needed something else to cover this feeling of sadness. I married my
second wife and then we moved to NZ. I was back with my children and
happy, however, my first wife was horrible and controlling and dictated
everything, making my 2nd wife and I miserable. My first wife then said
that she wanted to move to Melbourne, which we agreed to. My 2nd wife
and I moved over, and the agreement was that my children would be moving
over in 6 months. They never arrived and are still in NZ 6 years later.
My 2nd wife soon got pregnant, however, we were not in love and she left
Australia and took my baby daughter back to the UK. That was in 2014. I
do not get to see her. I then received a lawyers letter saying that my
2nd wife and her new partner had been arrested for child abuse. They had
beaten our daughter. I did not get custody and my 2nd wife was
apparently rehabilitated. I struggle with my past and would really like
some help or advice or meet others with similar struggles. Thanks, T