Apparently I am ok

[FeebsC]

Hi there,

I am currently on workers comp caused by trauma (dealing with catastrophically injured people and families who have lost a loved one), in a toxic workplace environment where there was bullying. 

I had suicidal thoughts, have done three weeks in a mental health unit and about to get admitted for second three week admission. My marriage is hanging by a thread and so am I .

I have been seeing a psychologist weekly, and todays seession has really done my head in. Basically her interpretation of it is that the mental health unit has just made me think I am worse than I am and we all go through a tough time, suck it up, I am just sad and it was just bad management and I am just wallowing in self pity. 

I feel as if what I feel or went through is all in my head.

I might as well just suck it up, go back to work and whatever happens, happens. I am so confused. I have had a few good sessions with her but then today she just really pissed me off. I get her straight forward attitude, but to continually put what I went through, and dealing with vicarious trauma every day down to, bad management and wrong job, just really got to me today

[Learn to Fly]

Hi FeebsC,

Thanks so much for sharing here. This is much appreciated.

I think you have every right to feel upset with your psychologist. Her role is not to express her own opinion but to hear you out and support you in trying to figure things out. Also, to support you by possibly working together with the mental health unit so everyone (including yourself) has a better understanding of your situation. This would hopefully help to set up on the right tracks, too. 

This is only an idea, as you simply might not be ready for this, but would you consider using some of your work comp time to get away from everything and everyone for a few days to give yourself a break from all of it? This is not a solution to your situation, obviously. But you seem to be close to a breaking point, and you also mentioned being confused. Maybe some time away in a completely different environment would help you to rest a bit. 
Again, this is only an idea, please don’t feel pressured.

[Fiatlux]

Hi FeebsC,

I hope you are ok today.

I am going to ask you a simple question... is 'she' psychologist, someone working with the Workers Comp insurer? or impartial? someone you elected to see? as this may well influence the decisions that are being made about your on going treatment. I hope NOT.

I sincerely believe that most people know themselves better than anyone regardless of how much we tell them.  Nobody ever wallows in self pity. This is just wrong. Take care of yourself.

[Whatsinaname]

Hi Feebsc,

I don't know if my experience will help or not but I have seen 4 different psychologists/therapists over my life and they were all vastly different. I'd imagine that's simply because different people relate better with different personalities.

Long story short, maybe try someone new?

[Sophie_M]

Dear FeebsC
 
Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums we are so glad that you have made you way here and had the bravery to post. As you can see, this is a safe space to discuss your thoughts, feelings and experiences and receive honest responses and suggestions from fellow forum users.
 
As you navigate this tricky situation, we want you to know that it’s ok to not be ok and further, that it’s important to engage with a therapist that can create a safe, nonjudgmental space for you to work through your trauma.  It’s lovely to see that you have received some truly supportive responses on your post.  We also just wanted to let you know that we are also here 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via our Webchat.  Our team who answer the phones are ready to have a supportive and non-judgmental chat whenever you need it.
 
Thanks again for sharing. It’s a powerful and brave first step towards feeling better.
 
Regards 
 
Sophie M