Hi Leigh,
I am deeply sorry for the loss of your mum. That is an enormous loss...I’m so sorry...
I think we turn to the bottle when we feel overwhelmed and aren’t really sure how else to cope. I feel it gives us that temporary relief where the pain subsides just a little...except sadly the pain inevitable returns...so we reach for it again. I can relate as I also have an unhealthy love of alcohol...it can be a vicious cycle....
I really admire your determination to be a good role model to your daughters. Your husband also sounds like an absolute blessing...
I‘m thinking maybe a good first step is to make an appointment with your GP about your drinking and see what advice referrals s/he has for you. I hope you don’t mind this gentle suggestion...perhaps something you might like to consider...
Alternatively, maybe if you want more anonymity for now, you could consider giving a helpline a call for advice, such as the beyondblue helpline...
Plus you’re always most welcome to talk to us here. There’s no pressure but the option to share and discuss is always here...
Kindness and warmth,
Pepper
