Abused as a kid ,becoming abuser later in life

[Aleksandra]

Hello, I am new here, just wanted to see if anyone has an advice or experience with similar situation.As a kid I was in family with alcoholoc person that was agressive and I was always scared and never really talked about it. I am 23 now, I have a wonderful relationship and I have abnormal anger attacks, like I get really stressed out and I am not just into verbaly arguing with my boyfriend I am becoming an abuser, I am physically aggressive, my adrenalin rushes so fast I feel like my mind is not my own. After like 30 mins I get back to normal, I usually cry because I cant believe what I just did/ say. In the moment of my anger attack I am not able to stop myself, I can not think rationaly .. And I am so scared that my kids one day would live like I did..with agressive parent... I don't even know how to fix this problem..:/

[Quercus]

Hi Aleksandra and welcome.

What a brave post. It isn't easy to admit aspects about ourselves that we aren't proud of. Good for you.

You're here asking for advice and support and that in itself tells me you wont allow yourself to become an abuser. Because you know how awful it feels and are taking action.

Please try to be forgiving of yourself. We all mess up at times. It doesn't mean failure... It means time to seek help. I find that when I am struggling and low and exhausted that seems to be when I fall back onto what I learnt as a child. For me that is isolating myself. It is a sign that I need help.

Right. So where to begin? How about booking a long appointment with your doctor and speaking as honestly as you can about what you are feeling? You can print your post if words fail you.

There are options in terms of therapy and medications and lifestyle changes. Feeling angry and out of control can be another way depression manifests too so a medical opinion is a solid plan.

I hope you can keep talking to us. There is no judgement here. None of us are perfect either. Please be kind to yourself.

Nat

[Emlm]

You’ve already taken the first step.... admitting that something is wrong. To me that’s not failure, that’s strength! My mother was abused as a child,she abused me, and now abuses my daughter. Yet can’t see there’s a problem.

You aren’t alone in this. There are options you can take to get help. Next step might be seeing your GP Quercus mentioned some good advice.

Sending you strength

[Shaz01]

Hello I am in similar situation my mother yelled and screamed all the time lost temper for no reason you were constantly walking on egg shells couldn’t do anything right.

i now have the most wonderful husband and 2kids that I have verbally abused and disrespected he has now separated from me due to being so heartbroken I have suffered depression and have been hospitalised for this but I can’t seem to break this angry aggressive cycle ?? Medication is useless can’t deal with the side effects from it and now my kids are angry and fighting all the time I don’t know where to start to get my family back on track ?? I am at a loss ?? Can anyone help ?? I need to get my husband back !!