Hi everyone,
I don’t really know what I’m doing here, but I just needed to let this out. My emotions are all over the place.
I grew up in a strict and lonely childhood where I rarely got what I asked for, so I stopped asking altogether. Maybe that’s why I feel so low now.
About 13 years ago, I entered into an arranged marriage. Since then, I’ve been living with my in-laws, who were very controlling, manipulative, and cruel. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without a male companion and went through years of mental abuse. When I told my parents, their response was “it’s your destiny, adjust and compromise.” So I tried to do just that.
But it feels like I haven’t truly lived. My marriage is loveless and sexless. My husband says he loves me, but in 13 years he’s never bought me a gift, a flower, or even noticed simple things like my favorite color. Sometimes I wonder if he’s gay, asexual, or just uninterested.
I have a 7-year-old child who means the world to me, but I still cry almost every day. I feel like I’m in a cage, with my wings and legs tied. I’m not financially independent, and I don’t know how to get out of this.
I guess I just want to ask: does it ever get better, or am I going to feel trapped like this forever?
