Lonely a lost purpose

[A-ly]

Hi,

I was a very passionate driven person when I was younger and achieved a lot in my passions as a teen/young adult and have been lucky enough to have experienced a lot of travel and success in my passion during those years. Since retiring that passion 2 years ago (it was too physically and financially demanding so can't return) I have felt as though I have really lost myself. I don't really know who I am anymore, I feel as though I don't have any connections with anyone really anymore. Like all my group of friends have slowly drifted over the years as we all went in different directions with careers and they slowly started leaving me out to the point they don't include me anymore and I never understood why. I have one best friend who I love, but our connection just isn't the same at the moment, we are in completely different seasons of life to each other. I feel like I know a lot of people but can't make connections. I don't know where I belong anymore. I am 30, have no partner, not real sense of connections to anyone and struggle to make new ones. I just feel incredibly lonely, I don't know what my purpose in life is anymore and I just feel like I'm going through the motions every day eat work sleep repeat with no sense of direction or purpose anymore. 

[Croix]

Dear A-ly~

Welcome here ot the forum, . I'm sorry you feel lost and not motivated at the moment. It is probably not that surprising as you have given up a very demanding way of life - in all probability it's own world. It must have meant just about everything to you and you may well have had many people you know in that world.

Naturally as you are no longer in it you miss the daily routines, you grieve for the loss of your occupation and for the friends who are drifting away. You miss the effort.

I can understand as I was invalided out of the police -a complete way of life plus social life  and acquaintances suddenly no longer there. I too felt life was bleak and pointless.

Although somewhat older than you I took a course of study which lead, quite unexpectedly, into teaching which became a complete substitute for my previos career. New identity, new goals, now colleagues and friends.

While I'm not suggesting you to need to study I'm simply pointing out there can be life after your purpose finishes with new matters to occupy you and make you feel worthwhile.

I have no real suggestions as to what it might be. There are two avenues that spring to mind. The first is to parlay your old occupation into a new one. If you were a sportsperson or musician for example then something in the advertising or manufacturing industry associated with it.

The other is a complete break and experiment until you find something worthwhile that you come to enjoy.

Whatever you come across you have to enjoy it, money alone is not enough (unless you are broke) and occupation has to give you something back.

You have succeeded in one area, now comes the opportunity to succeed in another.

You are welcome here anytime

Croix