Wishing for a friend to talk to

[dragonflies]

Hi,

I feel alone. I'm 19 and I have no friends anymore. No one to confide in, trust, or share my life with. I just want someone to talk to. Someone who gets me and who I can relate to and vice versa. I find it hard trying to make friends. I dread the process of getting to know someone completely for who they are. It takes so much time and effort. I have only ever been hurt in the past after making such close friends and having them just drift away from you without a care in the world.

Does anyone feel like this too?

dragonflies

[dragonflies]

Hey guys,

Feels like forever since I've been on. Have felt lonely since not coming on here.

I hope you're all well? Any news?

My christmas was okay. New Years I spent alone at my mums house. The next day ended up completely unexpected. I was pottering away during the day and by night time I had called my dad and ended up in the ED. I was so shocked I didn't see any of it coming. It was all an accident. Truly. Though it is difficult for anyone else to see that. I was scared. I thought I'd gone too far. But in the end I was told I'm going to be okay. So here I am now. Back at dads. Feeling ill at the thought of that night. It still doesn't feel real.

So yeh, bit shaken up, okay though. I just don't know where I'll go from here. Feels like a set back. Just exhausted of this cycle really.

Sorry for the downer. Just tried to think of some good news to share haha. I don't know !!! Sorry

How are you?

dragon xxx

[LuLu_]

Hi Dragonflies

I don’t want to intrude on your privacy and you don’t need to answer this question if it makes you uncomfortable, I am a little unclear and don’t want to make any assumptions.

What caused your trip to the ED?

It must have been scary. Are your parents very supportive? Do you feel safe while in the company of others?

Personally the darkness hits late at night when i am alone. It feels like I lose control. When I SH I feel i am holding back because i am worried that if I let myself go I won’t be able to stop. When I have an argument with my parents I fall in a heap. I just can’t stop crying. My dad makes me feel so horribly when he’s in a mood. He makes me feel like the worst person in the world, like everything is my fault.

so sorry for going on about me that was quite insensitive. I suppose I just need to vent. Please let me know if it affects you.

How is your friendship with the girl you talked about before? Have you found anyone else you feel comfortable with?

do not worry about not being positive. Positivity for me is putting on a mask.

Positivity can actually make me quite annoyed. I don’t know it just makes me so selfish for being a downer when my life is pretty good.

I feel myself rambling.

sorry for not answering straight away. Just so you know I did think of you.

How am I? I don’t know to be honest. I am away on holiday so I suspect when I get back home I will become down again.

Hope to hear from you soon

lulu

[LuLu_]

Hi dragonflies

I am so sorry if I caused you discomfort or sadness or anything else you might be feeling. It was not my intention at all. I hope you feel a bit better soon.

lulu x

[startingnew]

hey everyone, sorry i havent visited everyone for a while

its been a time of hell for me including an ED admission. im back now so please feel free to keep chatting, im aorund pretty much everyday and with it being a few easy going days maybe twice

[startingnew]

hey all

how is everyone?

[LuLu_]

Hi SN

I am quite anxious at he moment.

I don’t have much to say so perhaps if you would like to share what’s been going on for you I could bounce off of you 🙂

lulu

[startingnew]

hi Lulu and everyone

im doing better today, would you like to talk about whats bothering you? i can always try and help you sort out your thoughts

[LuLu_]

Hi SN

I am not sure what’s bothering me. Everything and nothing I suppose. I’ve started self harming. When my head is spiralling I notice I do it more.. sorry if that was completely unnecessary. Sometimes my thoughts are so out of place.

I am glad you are feeling better today.

I suppose I feel bad because I want to feel horrible. I want all these bad things to happen to me. I feel upset or lonely and I realise my life is great. I shouldn’t be thinking all these things. I should just be happy. I feel selfish.

What has been going on for you? How have you been feeling lately?

sorry I don’t have more to say

lulu

[startingnew]

Hi lulu

Sh urges can be really hard to manage. I really suggest trying other strategies or calling a helpline. The scars and guilt isnt worth it. Really it isnt. I deal with it daily.

Are you still seeing your psychologist as i really think you should be getting some of these thoughts sorted out and maybe find a reason behind them.

Take a look at a thread called 'coping strategies' i think theres a few things there that might help.

[startingnew]

Im ok for now. Have a few things happening behind the scenes with being a carer. But im ok atm. Ive decided to join a social group to meet some friends and maybe date this yr but want to be ready and im not rushing into things at all.

What about you? Have youconsidered joining a group or dating?