This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

Oh Velvet, we are like 2 peas in a pod. You make so much sense. Well to me anyway. I’m in my own little world, the garden garden, growing my own vegetables organically, walking with my wife and dog. I think if I reach out to people I will be judged. Not that I care but some of it sticks.

Loving Autumn,

And there’s nothing like quality chocolate 

[quirkywords]

Aries I have started growing with succulents with mixed reviews!!

I likw

[Airies]

Quirky,

I have killed many a plant with over kindness. Succulents produce the the most stunning flowers 

[quirkywords]

Aries

there is a joke in my family I can make a plastic flower wilt!

[velvetfaerie]

I have succulents! They just won't calm down. They love my free form gardening. 

I tried to grow some banksia and I have since learnt they thrive on mistreatment!!! 

I've had a full on week. Short version = poisoned at work through negligence of my employer. Subcontractors using chemicals. No information prior. Legally they have to provide sds prior in case the staff encounter the stuff.  I had to go and ask the subbies what it was due to feeling the ill effects so I could try and find the SDS and help for myself because when I went to management and safety rep, i was ignored. I phoned worksafe. They called me the very next morning to speak to me.

2 days later no one at work has checked on me. I phoned them and gave them both barrels and said I am disgusted in how I've been treated by my employer. I should have been taken straight to the Dr. But no. But you guys circle the wagons as you do to avoid your own accountability. 

I am so mad at them. The chemicals are very very bad. Acute and chronic toxicity up to and including lethal. I wasn't the only one affected either I'm just the loudest. 🤣

I will push this one because it was a near miss that could have had catastrophic consequences for anybody, if they were at work!!!

[quirkywords]

Asdff,Aries, Velvet, I appreciate your honesty and support.

i find being with family for several days and nights is tiring physically and emotionally.

Velvet I agree quality in friendship is worth more than quantity. 
I like chocolate  too and grapes and cheeses etc etc 

[quirkywords]

Velvet  sorry what happened r your work n that you treated.

There should be protocols in place.

[velvetfaerie]

There are protocols and legislation in place and at numerous points it wasn't followed / disregarded. 

I am going to take this up to and including prosecution, and there are grounds for it, more than 1 offense. I am sick and tired of these overpaid entitled arrogant people never being held accountable where and when appropriate. 

Worksafe have been involved since the event happened because the local level simply didn't give a rats.

[velvetfaerie]

I second what your said Quirky about family being tiring. I think for me it is because I can't truly be myself. 

My handful of good friends though, I can be myself. I don't have to wear myself out masking my personality.

[Airies]

 velvet I’ve heard you say what a toxic work environment you work in. I hope you’re heard and workplace come to the party. I was spent yesterday after a trip to watch the football, train travel,big crowd and so on.