This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

Goes to show how resilient you are V, it’s a shocking season for bugs. If our holiday happens it happens, but if not :(. We will do what we can. I’m probably more anxious walking, driving the car in the rain, going down escalators and steps. I used to be pretty nimble but not so now. I plan to get some body jewelary much to my family disapproval but I like being slightly different and as I get older I don’t really care. 

[Lisa611]

Velvet if you're in a position to travel go for it while you still can. Ask the doctor to give you something to relax you on the plane. Once you get there you'd be fine. I wish I had travelled more when I was more physically able. I envy those that have travelled alot. I know Quirky and Airies have travelled. If you had to pick your favourite place what would it be?

[Airies]

Lisa, parts of Europe moved me to tears. I would revisit in a heartbeat. Ancient ruins in Ephuses , Turkey was amazing. I still get goosebumps when viewing images on tv

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone a question, 

I think I may try counselling again but want to know how you make it work, I have not found anyone I can connect with. Are there steps to making counselling work. 

[Sophie_M]

Dear quirkywords,

Thank you for asking this very valuable question.

We understand that the main thing to keep in mind is that counsellors, and all mental health professionals for that matter, are people. We will feel comfortable with some of them, and uncomfortable with others. That said, counsellors are not friends, they are professionals, just like a GP or a social worker. We are not trying to build a friendship with them, so we should try not to judge the connection the way we judge our friendships.

Once we find a counsellor who we feel comfortable with, it is really important that we do our best to be honest with them. If we are convincingly dishonest, the counsellor, just like anybody else, will believe we are being honest, and respond in an unhelpful manner. If we are uncomfortable with the counsellor, we should probably tell them so they can determine whether they are able to adjust their approach enough so we may be able to become comfortable.

Finally, we would like to encourage you to call our Support Service on 1300 22 4636. The mental health professionals may be able to refer you to some local services in your area.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.

 

[quirkywords]

Thanks Sophie, 

i u derstand your points about counselling. Thank you. 

[Lisa611]

Quirky can I ask why you think you might need a counsellor? Sometimes I think I should see a psychologist as well as my psych. Does anyone see both? 

[velvetfaerie]

1. I have a psychologist and a psychiatrist. Ones for the behavioural/thought processes and the other for the medical. 

[Airies]

I used to see both when I wasn’t travelling too well, as an inpatient a number of years ago.Quirky can you see one via a healthcare plan? My psychiatrist is a good one. I was actually getting a bit teary the last few nights re changing meds,admission, a feeling of dread and how lucky I was to meet my wife. I went to bed after midday. The inactivity makes me cold. One minute Im singing, skipping down the corridor.

[quirkywords]

Thanks Aries Lisa and Velvet, 

I have read how many of you are helped by a psychologist or psychiatrist or counsellor. I feel there are issues from the fires that if I do:t address soon will become bigger.