This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

Erratic with a capital E. I find fault with others or am constantly annoyed. Have relatives on weekend over, we are having cake outside and they are vaping over the cake. I was ropable, did I say something… no, only to my wife afterwards. Guess I won’t be eating left over vape cake. My wife seems to think I’m over reacting but she is very forgiving and finds fault with no one

[quirkywords]

Aries I think I lost may have not pressed send on my post zi just wrote.
I relate to what you wrote as things people do annoy me and I just think but never tell them. The lower I am the more things irritate me. I see myself usually as patient and calm, this may be misguided,!! I am seen by others as being impatient and erratic at times and that surprises me !

[velvetfaerie]

Some people have fantastic cognitive dissonance.

My friends decided to get me out of rhe house today. Well they put up an offer they knew I'd jump at as the timing is good. I'm not adulting at all today.

We are going out on their boat!!!!

Wooooo

[asdff]

Quirky and Airies, everything irritates me. Sometimes the person causing the irritation gets told sometimes not. Then the irritation builds up and I erupt at home. To people that may have only caused the slightest irritation. I’m like a volcano, it spews out.

Velvet, yay for boating. Enjoy the open water or river. I prefer the river, it’s calmer.

[velvetfaerie]

People generally have zero concept of others and many annoying me too. There are many who are decent too.

Not the ocean. The boat is completely sea worthy but not today. I think the swell is too big to chance it with a less experienced skipper. I told them they were soft ahhaha.

I remember when on my uncles boat, much smaller than this one, dad had rhe controls and we went out to sea. Was super fun. I was standing on the chair, hands on windscreen top, (was open top boat), as we were skipping over reasonable waves.

Mum wasn't impressed. My cousin was scared and crying. Uncle trusted his brother. We were fine. It was rough out there if I remember.

Spot the adhd thrill seeking genes.

I better get sorted. Have a good day everyone.

[quirkywords]

I think my risk tasking , thrill taking days are over.
Sometimes I can’t believe the things I did.

[Airies]

Love being on a boat, well a cruise ship anyway.one of my sons was prone to airsickness and sea sickness and still is. My wife finishes up next week which will be huge. Bit scary as we enter the final chapter of our lives. Hope everyone’s doing ok through this Winter. I’m getting a bit soft in my old age. Bring on the warmer weather.

[quirkywords]

I am waiting for when my life gets easier. Instead of being in a stable relationship as a senior I have to decide what is more stressful to stay together who be alone.ni was hoping as I got o,der life would get easier , but no that won’t happen.

[Airies]

Think it’s a bit rich when Jordan DeGoey uses the ADHD as an excuse for his woeful behaviour over in Bali. Not everyone with a mental illness uses it as an excuse to show disrespect to the opposite sex.It happens time and time again.

[velvetfaerie]

Yes and everyone else can use that excuse but you!! Or me!!

I have to see what the news article is......