Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Hiya Beautiful Deebi...

Again I can breathe a sigh of relief,,,I’m so happy for you both....especially mil....Poor darling it must have been such a hard day today for her......and you....

Wow Deebi...definitely soul spirit sisters....so have I...vacuumed, washed floors, washed a mat. polished the furniture..Truth...l...I cleaned for tomorrow’s WW visit....need to show them I can care for me to keep them happy...and me at home...

Looking forward to your visit bbff.....

Never slept last night much..going for one now....just a bit tired...

Love you Mrs Beautifulheart...🌈💖....bbl...if that’s okay...

Love and hugs....🤗💜💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy.....👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦄👼....🐉🔥..

[demonblaster]

Hi beautiful💜 and readers 😊

You're such a love thanks Grandz great news eh 🤗

Good on you with all your cleaning, just take it steady sweets with your heart and hip.

I did sleep and had arvo one boyo Grandz I'm like the leaning tower of Piza. Pretty ouch with it while walking. Not too good but not agony. I'll remember to go easier in future.

Absolutely always ok for you to bbl thank you beautifulheart ☺

Mil just rang shes so relieved. There's a possibility it could happen within 5 yrs but they're keeping an eye out the darling. She loved what you said ya sweetyheart thank you darlin 🤗

No pain sitting in chair which is good.

Cya later darlz 👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗🌱🕊✨🏋️‍♂️

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone..

I just want to call in and wish you a really deep relaxing sleep with dreams of angels, dragons, elves, munchkins, and fairies..Sprinkling you with angel star dust...and wake up tomorrow morning with so much light in your heart that everyone thinks summers come back....

Im so very happy about mil...a little gift for her to pinn onto her slipper ..a golden and enameled good luck four leaf clover 🍀...

Im going to bed now...good night everyone...love and hugs..💜🤗..

Deebi love you dear ss sister....💖👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👼🦄..

I posted on mine earlier.hasn’t landed as yet..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....🦄👼💖🍀🌷🏄‍♀️🍫⛄️🦉🚂🎃❓❓❓.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (and a wave to all),

I’m relieved that your mil is relieved, which means you must also be relieved. I’m so pleased to hear that as I know you’ve been worried about her. I know the two of you share a very special bond...

The pain sounds terrible though. I think it’s awful how it makes walking a struggle as I know how much you gain from those walks. But I’m glad to hear you can sit pain-free at least.

Super soul hugs and love,

Peppystar xoxo

[demonblaster]

Hi lovely Grandy & Peps, readers ☺

Grandy always such sweety posts thank you. Reading about my dreams of Angels elfs munchkins fairies and dragons gave me a smile and the Angel dust lovely touch darlin thank you 🤗

What a beautiful gift for mils slipper 😀 you have a great memory you know how to make me happy precious sissyter besty. She'll love it 🤗

😆 looking forward to my polished Blue Sapphire charm. 😀 loven the build up. You're so gorgeous.

So pleased you really like ww lady. I'll be at yours today sometime sweetyheart 👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗🕊✨ love you very deeply 🤝👀💼 pubAok yadimh awyip.

Hiya Peppystar and thank you too popping in ☺

Huge relief with mil. Love her very deeply shes a little gem.

Backs a little easier today but not right. I miss the walks was going to yesterday but didnt. Foots still there too. I'm using those insteps I got at op shop in shoes. Score.

Hope both of you have a nice day and you can breathe in some of my summer light 😊⚘

Take care lovely friends. 💗🤗🌱🕊

[Paw Prints]

Dear DB,

Lovely news about your mil, such a relief for you both.

Oh lass, your poor back, they tell us we have to keep moving, but please take it gently, don't want you laid up. Have you tried a bath with epsom salts to help relax the muscles, I sometimes find it helpful for muscle soreness.

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I am pleased that my little gift to your mil made you happy...

Very good girl wearing insteps in your shoes..it’s easier to wear shoes 👟 in winter ❄️ ..I hope this winter it starts easing off..it’s been now a year or close to it or maybe more then a year that your foot has been sore....poor darlin..I hope it goes away this winter.....

Its good the Drs are keeping a close 👁 on mil...that makes me feel better that they are caring for her...

Awe your poor back....Please don’t lift any heavies or twist it around to much...Just do things slowly and very mindfully when you do....Sweeping and vacuuming is very hard on our backs I think...because we’re constantly twisting and turning it....

I hope your day was a good day beautifulheart and you had some happy times...pubaok..yadimh.. awyis.. lysvm....I read somewhere here that you still getting days that feel like autumn...I hope those days continue for you...

You’re in my 💭....oh yes your present...not long sweety...only a little bit more to do....just 5.8secs....hmmm..now I’m examining it....oh wow the sapphires are so sparkling......You’ll love it....I’m about to jump into my 🚜 and get some Tia Maria, Kahlau..some pistachios and raspberries...I’ll meet you at mine in about half hour or so....💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩.

Hello Peppy and Paws..I hope your day was a good day as well...💜..

Love and hugs everyone..💜💜🤗🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄👼🎁..

[demonblaster]

Heyaz Paws 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 & readers 🔎

Paws lovely thanks hun yip huge relief she's such a love.

I don't have a bath, not nuts on them and why on earth they dont allow for somewhere to put our heads I'll never know but don't dislike exactly just I dont like feeling soggy after them 😆

Thanks true to keep moving I considered a walk but it wouldnt handle it I dont think. Think something news going on with this leaning bizzo.

Hope you're feeling brighter lovely 🤗☺⚘ thanks for calling in.

Grandz 😀 vrr ...screech... clunk...won't explain that widdle incident 😶... I 've just put the kettle on and released the gorgeous furs at yours..after cuddles that is..

5.8 secs 🤣 loven it.

Yes it's still Autumny nice.

Can't wait for our Tia Kahlua yum pistacchios oh and Rasberries oh yeah baby lets boogie. Funny I was going to do same at yours with drinks soul sissyter ☺

You're so sweet about mil you all are, thank you for being so supportive and caring.

I'll be 🔭 keeping an 👁 out at yours for my 🎁 😀 can't wait ya sweetyheart.

PubAok yadimh sss 👩‍❤️‍👩 gg awiyis awyip lysvm always 🗯 beautiful.

🤗💜👁🤝💗🔭🎀🔎🌱🎁🎃🎷🎺

[Ggrand]

Hello beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Okay beautifulheart What you doing today?..

Im sitting on my old lounge on my front veranda and I couldn’t stop my 💭 from wondering what your up to and how your feeling....Ummm how are you feeling bbff...👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I really am in awe of today..it was so cold last night..-3..today is gorgeous no breeze, warm to sit in the sun...It’s making me tired..I’ll go for an arvo sleep soon...that way I can watch lord of the rings tonight☺️..

Oh I was wondering why my letterbox 📪...should be this way..📬...😂😂It was on backwards....now I know...your widdle incident...as long as your okay....I got my tools 🔨🔧🛠🔩 out so we can fix it, not a problem beautifulheart....

Oh....Guess what I done today?.....Do you want to know?....hmmm....Okay....maybe later bbff...I’m happy with me for doing it.....

Oh Deebi..I’m sorry your leaning sweety when your walking...does your back hurt when you try to straighten it up?...I’m lobsided when I stand straight..I have a slight curve in my spine...but unnoticeable unless you look at my crooked shoulders😂...One is higher then the other....but no pain with it..

Oh Deebi..mainly winter I like baths..I have at the back of my bath two rows of tiles like a shelf...I roll up a towel, put it on the shelf and rest my head on it..I think that’s why I fell asleep...

I hope you enjoy today...I’m hoping it’s a beautiful day where your living...please Deebi....it’s okay not to walk if your back or foot is sore..it’s very important to be gentle and kind to you....Pubaok...precious friend...awyis..yadimh..lysvm 💜..

Love you Spirit soul sissyter...your in my 💭...

Sending you love and caring warm hugs..💜😂 and a chocolate 🍫 or two....

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🌹🦄👼💖🚜🎁🥁🥁.

[demonblaster]

Hey beautifulheart 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all 😊

So nice seeing you dear soul sissy friend.

Not doing much at all as usual Grandz sleeping TV was going to walk but dubious with how my back is atm. Giving up smokes again today. Goin ok

I've been thinking often about the beautiful 🤝 Sapphires diamond & Arms of an Angel love it Grandz so much.

I think about you heaps too lovely friend. Hope you're ok hun. I'm ok not really sure but not down. Was going to have the bloke I like around for a meal but not really feeling like it.

Beautiful as always days here, I'll see how the back is and do a little walk tomoz. Not liking the back like that Grandy no its ok to straighten hurts on the lean. Mostly straight outta bed or chair pretty stooped over too.

I was worried about falling asleep in the bath that time. Good idea rolling towel up.

😆 so glad you were able to fix your letterbox what a handy lady you are 🛠🔧📏📎☺

Dunno Grandy just can't seem to do things again.

Oh you're halarious arent ya, tell me later 😅 I'm glad you're pleased good girl. I'm guessing it was the hotty cover, hope so 🤗

How are you doing huns?

Love you beautiful friend pubAok yadimh awyis lysvm awyip 🤗😚

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🛠✨🤝💗🎁🎀🤗⚘