Should I just suck this up?

[monkey_magic]

OK, this isn't easy for me to write bcas I respect police also but this is my situation.

I aparantly unlawfully entered a friends property, that's right a friends property. He wasn't home and I wasn't believed. Anyhow I was put in a mental institution. I preferred the hospital choice over the police station choice thinking I'll be in there for a couple weeks.

3 months later I came out overmedicated feeling like shite...misdiagnosed with a mental illness as a " safety net" seriously!!!!

3 months of my life where I couldn't work, and live my normal life. Inclosed in a small space, going crazy.

Should I just " suck this up". ?

[monkey_magic]

I need help, I'm not functioning, I'm in a high state of anxiety and I can't calm down

[mmMekitty]

Hello Monkey,

I'm so glad to hear from you. This is certainly an ordeal & I know it's tough.

One thing you can do while lying in the bed is to focus on your breathing & follow the steps, 

1: slowly breathe deeply in, to a count of 3 or 4, (whatever is comfortable)

2: Hold it. counting to 3 or 4 

3: slowly release, counting to 3 4

& repeat, feeling the breath reach right down past your stomach, feel your abdomen rise & let it slowly fall & release all the breath slowly each time, focus on that, how it feels & the counting.

Another thing is to tighten & release parts of you, from your feet, then ankles, then calves, knees, thighs, hips, tummy, & backside, then your tomach, then focus on your fingers, hands, arms - lower then upper, then your shoulders, & any higher if you can, including your face.

See how far you get with these, & if you become distracted, begin again! 

I use these sort of things gs myself, & have been pleased with how well such exercises work

If you are able to listen to music, I'd think that would help, too, gentle but complex music you have to concentrate on to follow.

*

Sending a male nurse to clean you up was truly insensitive. Although I could say it's part of the job for them, for you it's a very personal & private part of your life & body. I'd consider complaining.

I'm sorry that happened in that way.

Here for you, purring at your side.

mmMekitty

[monkey_magic]

Ive had a breakdown....they jabbed me with a drug at the hospital now mental health rang and want to drug me....I'm at my lowest ebb...I don't even know who I am anymore...I feel poisoned

[mmMekitty]

Hi Monkey. What you are going through ounds really frightening.

As far as I am concerned, you are still the same Monkey_Magic I have begun to know, you know, somewhat well. I think 'irripressible' is a very good word to use to describe you.

Can you tell me why you think you are being poisoned? I mean, why would anyone be trying to do that after all the effort & skill put in to getting that cyst out of your head?

You say you don't feel like yourself anymore. Could that be because things feel out of control, things happening around you, & to you, & you seem to be 'just there', not participating?

I think, maybe in the middle of a 'breakdown', you could feel detached even from yourself.

If anything I have said is true, let me assure you, it won't be so forever.

Looks to me, I'm going to stay around with you for a while, if you like. & you know one thing about being at your lowest is that the only way to go is up. We'll help to get you there.

Big hugzies ❤️

mmMekitty

[monkey_magic]

Hi all,

It's been over 5 mnths since I've written here because of all the changes that I don't like but just thought I'd give everyone an update. 

Brain surgery to remove a cyst ended up being one of the worst things I could have done. My skull was cut open and stapled back together and Ive been damaged. During recovery I felt something in my brain change and now my functioning and mental health is at its worst ever. I have physical problems like nerve pain/ damage and a back injury to add to the mix. I've been immobile. 

I'm no longer working and want to go on the disability support pension. I lose hair every day and it's just getting thinner and thinner. My head still hurts over 5 mnths after the surgery and I'm just so sensitive to everything. Having the surgery is a big regret. I am so vulnerable now and have become defenceless. 

Hopefully I get some responses to my plight.

[mmMekitty]

Oh, dear Monkey, I'm so sorry you have & are going through so much. & I am sorry I haven't been back to see you posted so many days ago. I have been checking in occasionally, hoping, for a happier update, I admit.

Have you been advised about the nerve damage, the ongoing pain in your head & what about this back injury - what is being done for that?

I can understand your feelings of vulnerability, being dependant on others, like a little child is, when you are unabl to get up & cater to your own needs. Surely, losing your job & becoming so debilited,won't feel like you have moved foreward in life, but rather like you've taken a big leap backwards.

But, I've known people who recover from horrific damage. It takes a long time & a lot of determination & hard work, alongside a good support team made up of family, friiends (& I'm thinking) allied health specialists, & good support from your mental health therapist, too. Maybe more, I can't say, because that's up to you.

For a while, you may have to be vulnerable & ask for help. It can even help the people around you if you can say precisely what it is you need from them in the moment. I'm mostly thinking of family & friends, here. They may feel at a loss as to how to help you, so if you can talk to them about what you need, they will appreciate that.

I am so gld to hear from you again, even though you are in this unhappy state, with yourself feeling at your lowest.

I'm so sorry having that surgery has turned out so bad for you.

I want to give you a big hug, & sit with you for a good long while.

mmMekitty

 P.S. My hair is thinning too, due to a side effect of a med I must have. My own surgery, nerve danage, changes to my body. I'll tell you more if you think it would help.

[Croix]

Dear MM~

I did not realise you had posted so my reply is slow, I'm sorry about htat, just at a time when being with friends is something that may help

I'm sure you made a sensible decision to have surgery based on the facts as you knew them and I'm very sad it has not worked out well, all I can hope is the side effects get less over time. At the moment they  sound truly horrible. Are you home again now?

The other thing I hope is you will cope with this and grab as much good from life as you can. You have always been a strong and resilient person, be it homelessness, enforced medication and all the other things you have come though.

Every other time something horrible has happened to you I've known you will weather the storm and come out the other side, no matter how hopeless it seemed to you at the time.

"Monkey is irrepressible!" is the phrase that comes to mind.

Good luck wiht Centrelink, let us know how you go

Croix

[mmMekitty]

I am thinking of you, Monkey - Irrepressible!

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Croix]

Dear MM~

Just popping in to see how you are going. No pressure to reply unless you want to

Croix

[Guest_1055]

You popped into my thoughts MM, you have been so kind to me. I am hoping you are doing alright.

Shelley