Sad musings

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as though I've hit a wall...

I know that I want to make some sort of change or changes but I'm unsure of the nature of this change. A general feeling of unease. When you're deeply unhappy but you're not even 100% sure why.

Seriously, this all probably seems kind of vague and I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, and I know that no one has the answer except for me (whatever that is...throws hands up in frustration).

All I can say is I think life is difficult and often painful. It's the daily, in-between moments that I find the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if brief moments of reprieve is as good as it gets.

Pepper

[Birdy77]

Hello my lovely friend! ❤

I am dropping by to see how my extrovert friend is coping on this Saturday afternoon - i can imagine that weekends might be difficult for you at the moment.

Do you have a catch up lined up with friends for a cuppa (or a cocktail 🍸) via facetime this weekend?

So glad to hear you've continued drawing/sketching this week! And also drawing on the canvases of which you've already painted the background - i am hoping that this is bringing you calm.

I know that feeling of wanting to cry, but somehow not being able to. Has that shifted at all? Have you been able to let go some of that and allow the tears to flow and the feelings to move? Maybe dancing could help?

I haven't tried a movement meditation yet, but had a fun freestyle in the kitchen with the music cranked 😊 have you tried one yet?

I hope you are nurturing yourself.

My plants arrived yesterday! So a happy planting time ahead, it usually takes me some time to decide or listen to them about where they want to live 😊 My process is a bit random really - i buy plants that i like (could be the flowers, could be for colour or structure or form, could be for a particular purpose eg. screening, fruit, shade) and then find a way for them to make sense in my garden in relation to what i already have there. Or something like that! I don't always work to a particular plan.

I love the Aruncus too! So pretty with those whimsical panicles! When they flower i should try to show you (it will be a while).

I am feeling a bit calmer after my anxious week - my financial issue isn't totally sorted, but i managed to partially sort it, & i feel a bit better about it. Thank you for being here for me and for your beautiful friendship amd support!

Has "in iso" prompted any venturing into the kitchen for trying some recipes? Made a yummy dinner the other night, wanted to share with you super simple, super fast and super healthy. Literally 7 minutes from start to finish. Next post my friend!

Much love, thinking of you

❤

🌻 b xo

[Peppermintbach]

Darling friend/beautiful b (& a wave to all),

How thoughtful of you to think of me & ask how I’m holding up. Thank you so much, my friend 🙂

I really appreciate how you make time for me, especially when I know you have your own troubles & struggles. You’re lovely...really you are...

I think it must be such a relief to feel your emotions settle a little. I know you have been in an anxious spiral, & maybe you’re still in it to some extent, but you do sound calmer today...what a relief that at least your financial situation is partially sorted.

Hopefully the rest is fixed up soon. One day at a time, right?

I smiled when I read about your plant delivery. I can sense your excitement, & I’m happy for you too 🙂

I think it’s beautiful how you follow your instincts & intuitively figure out where to plant them. You have a very gentle relationship with nature, & it’s moving...

Yes, the Aruncus is gorgeous. Makes me think of snow & winter. I would be very interested to see what they look like when they flower...

Thank you for your love & caring, my friend. I had a cry last night, so got some of it out of my system, which was a welcome relief.

I’m adapting to this semi isolated period (semi as I still need to go to work some days). I think because I know we are all in the same boat, it’s comforting...& I also realise in many ways, I’m lucky.

Yes, I’ve continued to draw & that gives me both a creative outlet & helps me focus. Now is a good time to just refine those skills, as I have certain long-term goals.

I’m not interested in seeing my work in an exhibit or anything like that, but I have other plans. That said, if for whatever unusual, lucky & strange reason, that became an option, I would gladly take it for the exposure.

I have FaceTime chats lined up for tonight & tomorrow, so I’m looking forward to both. Thankfully, there is technology 😉

Your 7 minute dinner sounds both tasty & within my cooking requirements of fast and healthy (laughs). I would love to hear more about it. I’m afraid I’ve actually cooked even less, not more.

A colleague commented that I had recently lost weight (unintentionally & I didn’t even notice), but I’m guessing that’s also stress related...we are having issue with getting enough protective gear for our frontline staff.

How is your weekend looking, lovely friend?

I’m assuming a fair bit of gardening, yes?

May you stay safe. Sending you & your family my blessings of good health, comfort & love xoxox

[Just Sara]

Hello Pepper girl!

Popping in to share the lurve; hope life's treating you well. Have missed you and the crew. Might pop back tonight if I get a chance and have a cuppa hey?

HxH

Lub, lub...Sez xo

[quirkywords]

Hi pepper and everyone reading,

I like your thread and interesting discussion.

So you find video chats annoying at all? I may be getting old but I find them frustrating.

Just Sara, just saying hi and welcome back. Hope life is treating you well.

[Birdy77]

Hello my lovely friend ❤

(hey, welcome back Sez, hi to all 😊)

I am glad you had a cry Sweets - i honestly feel it can move things along like nothing else can. I am glad you felt some relief. There is a line i am thinking of, about tears helping us move down the river of life, lifting us up off the rocks ... i will try to find it ❤

When you mentioned your colleague noticing you had lost weight, i hope you are ok, i am not sure if this is an issue for you, or just a detail of life. The stress of work, and just the stress of life at the moment can affect our living/eating patterns and on the way our bodies respond to the way we live our days.

I understand getting in the kitchen isn't high on your all time faves list - but i hope somewhere along the days here, you will find some inspo to cook up some yummy nurturing meals, even if they're in bulk, in advance for the week ahead. I will here and there pop in a (quick) plant-based meal idea/recipe for you (if that might help) ... and look forward to you telling me when you've tried them?

Today i worked in the garden most of the afternoon - it was feral and windy this morning, and i made mrs b and i gozlemes (🎶 "yum!!" 🎶) for brunch, then the arvo turned out beautiful and sunny, so i worked hard out there, the boys had a lovely time playing on the lawn in the sun. Was so thankful a few weeks ago i had prepared some pies and pasties, and froze them - had somethibg to whack in the oven while i cleaned up from being outside 👍

I want to talk to you about your art ideas - & lots of other things ... i shall return beautiful friend.

❤

🌻b xo

[Birdy77]

"Tears are a river that take you somewhere. Weeping creates a river around the boat that carries your soul-life. Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground, carrying it downriver to someplace new, someplace better."

Clarissa Pinkola Estés - Women Who Run With The Wolves

❤❤❤

[Peppermintbach]

Hi to all the lovely people,

Hi Sez: Thank you so much for the well wishes. That’s very kind of you.

Also, welcome back 🙂 It’s nice to see you. I hope things are going well in your world.

Thanks again for the visit xoxo

Hi Quirky: what a treat to see you here. Thank you 🙂

Thank you so much for the kind words. I’m glad you’re getting something from these exchanges, chats & musings.

I think it’s fair enough if you don’t like video/FaceTime/Skype chats. It’s not for everyone, & that’s understandable, as we all have different preferences 😉

I like video chats, & I don’t find it annoying, because I think it enhances communication. I can see (& convey) visual cues like facial expressions & body language that other channels, such as phone calls, can’t facilitate.

I also think it’s the closest alternative to face-to-face communication during social/physical distancing & self isolation.

It’s good to see you here xoxo

Darling friend/beautiful b: Thank you so much for the gorgeous quote, lovely friend.

Water....river...tears...ebb & flow, right?

Yes, ebb & flow...

Thank you for the loving reminder, my friend. Absolutely gorgeous quote 🙂

What a busy, but very rewarding, day you had yesterday. I’m glad the weather improved in the afternoon...

It sounds as though you got a lot done in the garden, which must have been satisfying. But perhaps more importantly, I know how much hard work in your garden sanctuary nurtures your spirit....

You & mrs be are clearly looked after on the food front. Your famous speedy gozleme must has been a nice brunch treat for you to share with mrs b 🙂 What a wholesome day you had with your family & in the garden.

I think the weight loss comment surprised me, that’s all. Personally, I don’t think that I look that different. Shrugs...

(laughs) I actually don’t ever do weekly bulk cooking, as spending half/full day in the kitchen is something I try to avoid 😉 I will, however, sometimes make a couple of extra portions (if I’m cooking dinner anyway) to save time.

But, you’re always welcome to share any healthy & fast plant based recipes with me, my friend. I know how much you enjoy cooking, & that you know lots of yummy recipes 🙂

I realise that you have had some struggles lately, so I’m wondering how has your mood been since the weekend, my friend?

Also, I’m interested to know what did you end up planting/digging/doing in your garden on Sunday?

With love & warm blessings of good health to you & your family xoxox

[Birdy77]

Hello gorgeous friend ❤

How are you at the end of this weird week?

Are you feeling ok?

I imagine there's a bit of cabin fever. I have it too. That's saying something ... !

Do you have some facetime lined up over this long weekend? Maybe you don't get a long weekend with your work, but either way i hope you can get some social time with your friends, or some fun downtime.

You asked what i did in the garden, well some of my new plants decided where they wanted to live, but the others are still indecisive. I told them No Hurry. But i remulched the hedge aling the front (i am so impatient for it to grow tall, and in response it's the slowest growing thing in the history of this garden). And i put in some more garlics and seeds of coriander and silverbeet.

This week I have been up and down, up and down with worries and frustrations, but i think I've reached a calm for now, after another stressful day. I feel calm for tonight at least!

During my angst, I've been listening to some talks/meditations about sheltering in love which encourages us to look at the connectedness that this crisis is engendering. It has been helping to provide calm and hope anyway - wouldn't it be wonderful if we all come through the other side with more kindness and compassion?

There is such a beautiful opportunity for us all to respond to each other with love and openheartedness during this strange time that we are *all* experiencing... the question is, why can't we respond to each other in "normal" times with such openheartedness?

These are just thoughts I'm putting out here my friend, no need to respond, and i don't even know if it made sense, i am nit going to read back and edit or i will likely delete it - i guess i am trying to wind down my mind from today.

Do you have a book lined up to read next? I have so many on my bookshelves that i could read, but i haven't quitened my head enough yet to get some concentration! It would be fun to read a book together again sometime.

Let me lnow how you are, I'm thinking of you.

This comes with love ❤

🌻b xo

[Birdy77]

7 minute dinner:

1 box of Plantasia plant-based roast "duck"- pan fried and sliced/chopped into bite sized pieces.

1 bag of cauliflower/broccoli-rice (mrs b brought home a bag that was on quick sale at coles for 12 cents, oh yeah), stirfried with your fave condinents eg. Coconut Aminos, soy sauce, sesame oil.

Serve veg rice and "duck" on plates with the juicy sauce from stirfrying, and crushed peanuts, plus lettuce leaf cups (baby cos, iceberg or the like), so you can eat it san choy bow style, or as is.

❤❤❤

[Peppermintbach]

Darling friend/beautiful b (& a wave all),

I’m giving you a warm hug & my hand of friendship is always extended. I’m listening intently. What an emotional roller coaster ride, my friend...

I felt your turbulent emotions, & I care very about your feelings...I’m glad your emotions settled a little last night though. Moments of calm are precious....

I think you were very brave to just write freely, & I hope it settled your mind a little. I’m glad you didn’t delete it..

I know things like spelling, grammar, expression, etc are things that you pay attention to...but it’s okay, my friend...maybe just let it go...give yourself the space to freely self express. We don’t think any less of you. We love you all the same 😉

I actually think it’s nice getting to know this other side of you. However you choose to write, there’s an undeniable sensitivity & compassion that I see...

Yes, my friend, it would be wonderful if we responded to the crisis with love & an open heart...& thereafter. That would be world changing...

Sigh, I don’t know if we have it in us as a collective though...even now, I feel there is such a huge range of behaviours between people, from thoughtful & compassionate to outright self serving...

Your garden sounds like it’s being tended to with so much love. I love coriander!

Laughs...hopefully your unplanted plants hear you, but they do sound a little defiant 😉 I’m glad some of the more cooperative plants have found homes ...

Thank you for asking. For choosing to be here...it has been an emotional week.

A friend was diagnosed with COVID-19, so that has been worrying. Hopefully she will be part of the 80% with only mild symptoms. In happier news, a client thankfully came back with negative results.

I have FaceTime chats planned this weekend. Did you know that you can have up to 32 participants in a FaceTime call?

I started reading a novel, A People’s History of Heaven, which explores issues of class, religion, gender roles, sexuality & identity.

From the blurb:

Nestled between the luxury high-rise Bangalore is an ironically named slum called Heaven. It’s here 5 girls- Muslim, Christian & Hindu; gay & straight- forge a binding friendship.

Thanks so much for the recipe. It looks quickly & easy (2 very important requirements)...it sounds yum too!

Are there any new talks/meditations that you have found helpful?

Also, do you have any plans for the long weekend, my friend?

With love & blessings of grounding, health & comfort xoxox