Sad musings

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as though I've hit a wall...

I know that I want to make some sort of change or changes but I'm unsure of the nature of this change. A general feeling of unease. When you're deeply unhappy but you're not even 100% sure why.

Seriously, this all probably seems kind of vague and I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, and I know that no one has the answer except for me (whatever that is...throws hands up in frustration).

All I can say is I think life is difficult and often painful. It's the daily, in-between moments that I find the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if brief moments of reprieve is as good as it gets.

Pepper

[startingnew]

Hey peps

When is your gp appointment?

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

Thank you for the caring messages of support.

It means a lot especially as I realise every single person who has responded/responds has their own set of struggles and pain...

I have been in a reflective mood. I have realised it's not about my upcoming GP appointment or psych appointment. They are both merely "by-products" (a "symptom") of something else...the change is less about seeking professional help and more about me as a person. A "quickening" indeed...

You know those moments when you stumble upon something and it really resonates? I stumbled upon a couple of threads where existentialism was mentioned, and it reminded me of who I was/who I am. A piece of the puzzle...thanks m...

I think it's time to whip out those Satre and Nietzsche books again. Some I have read before and some I am (still) yet to read...a piece of the puzzle, a piece of the puzzle...

Nath - that song is obviously very meaningful to you. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself here.

It must be sad that there is a lot less unity there...you must miss the days when everyone had each other's back.

Bullying is horrible and I remember you copped a lot simply for being yourself...must have been a very difficult time for you.

Butterfly Wings- my caring friend 🙂 Hey, no need to apologise as you have nothing to be sorry for...

You have so much on your plate yet still pop in to leave some supportive words. Thank you ❤️

It's on the 25th...

Sending love,

Pepper xoxo

[Pysis]

Hi pepper

no problem thanks for listening.😃

Yeah it is sad that my town isn't the same as it was there was point when I knew every last person in this town but now I hardly know anyone. Yeah that was a hard part of my life I got bullied at school and then I came home to dad so for years I didn't have a safe place.

hope your ok pepper.

thinking of you

Nath

xoxxo

[startingnew]

great, i hope your gp appointment goes well for you

just letting you know im hearing you. there is so much self discovery to be had and it never stops. this is just the beginning for you. a new start.

my butterflies are around when you need them and even the monarch butterflies are saying that your changing.

its a process and cant be rushed

sending lots of BW hugs and sitting with you

xoxoxox

[Just Sara]

Dearest Pepper;

Thankyou for your beautiful reply. Teared up again...you and I have, well, that 'something' don't we?

I want to talk about something of yours I came across a minute ago;

'I woke up after a nap last night and was feeling extremely down and borderline hysterical...when I noticed that a friend had sent me a text with a song recommendation. He said that it reminded him of me...
I was a tad skeptical but listened to it anyway. I almost cried as it was just what I needed but was too emotionally exhuasted to cry'

I'm off to town shortly, but wanted to put this up before I go. I'll be back later on to talk about it.

I've taken every word in you wrote to me, and will address its beauty too.

Love Sez xo

[Just Sara]

Everything I thought of writing has flown the coup. Last night and today has changed my life. I appreciate you and your words more than ever before my dear sweet Pepper.

Love has no bounds, so it's with this in mind I say to you;

You're perfect; beautiful; very likeable; loveable; brave; enthused; driven; deep; caring; worthy; valuable; admirable; intelligent; meaningful; and a wonderful friend/daughter.

Khalil Gibran's 'The Prophet', addresses a world gone mad. He talks to his people as a kind of poetic meandering. He's no Nietzsche, but has wisdom in his words none the less.

I'm proud of you for going back to your GP and seeing a psych; very proud indeed Pepper. I look forward to hearing about your visits; as one who loves you does.

I also want you to find love in that special person who appreciates you like I and others do; who you also admire in return...flaws and all.

No complaints or observations from me today. Life's good...

Take care of you lovely; rare treasure...

Sez xoxox

[Peppermintbach]

Dearest Sez,

Thank you for your loving words...you write so beautifully. People often talk about the different "love languages" here and I'm pretty sure yours is words and language 😉

Hey, I'm hoping it was good tears you shed from reading my earlier post on this thread. Heart of hearts indeed; always and forever 💞

Oh yes, I did write that. I woke up really upset for some inexplicable reason (maybe a nightmare? I don't know...I very, very rarely remember my dreams). His text was well timed. Got me through it in that moment.

Aw...thank you...I literally don't know how to respond to those compliments other than to say thank you. Thank you for your love and affection, and for tolerating/overlooking my countless flaws and mistakes. You're in my heart; you know this.

Also, I now have a secondhand copy of The Prophet. I was expecting a brick of a book so was quite surprised it's actually pretty compact (lol).

I was reading the intro and coincidentally enough, Nietzsche was mentioned (and I had only been talking about him 2 days ago here...funny that).

The striking likeness between the form of The Prophet and that of Nietzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra has been noted, and Gibran himself admitted his debt.

- Intro, The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran

Small world indeed (lol). I have a copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra, speaking of which. But it was also noted in the intro that the key similarites was the structure and heavy symbolism. Their respective philosophies are vastly different (apparently anyway).

Thanks, I feel sorry for the poor guy who might end up with me next...I'll probably drive him up the wall and he will want to run away asap 😂 On a more serious note, you're such a beautiful person. I know you've been hurt a lot in the past but I really hope there's someone out there for you and that you find each other; you're the real treasure.

I'll let you know how Monday goes...slightly nervous mostly because I am not a fan of the questions. But I get that they are just doing their job and it just has to be done...

Love you; to the Milky Way and back (and as much as music)

Pepper xoxoxoxo

[Pysis]

Hi pepper

how are you?

[Peppermintbach]

And dear Sez, I'm proud of you too 💞

Love you dearly,

Pepper xoxoxoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely people,

Nath- you are very kind and caring. Thank you for checking up on me 🙂

I'm plodding along. Tired is the word that comes to mind so quiet night tonight and going out with friends tomorrow night.

Also, I read your earlier post...missing out on a sense of safe place must have been/is painful. Many people take their physical home for granted as a place of safety yet it isn't always the case...I hear you. It's a horrible feeling...

Butterfly (SN)- thank you for the wonderfully supportive words. Brought a smile to my face.

Yes, your white butterflies have been surrounding me. I saw 3 today and they always make me think of you 🙂

I always say "hey Butterfly (Wings)" in my head when I see a white butterfly.

I know you're with me in spirit. I'm with you too...also I left a post on your thread but not sure if it's up yet. Hopefully soon.

Thinking of you all...

Love,

Pepper xoxoxoxo