Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Saree_p]

Dear Jojo and Lilly,

My partner booked an appointment at the GP clinic for 4.15 today.
Not sure whether he can be there. Not sure I can make it.

He said it's the 4th day now, and I'm guessing He is mad at me.
He is so distant. And upset.

[Saree_p]

He will meet me there..

Still really scared. I'll be looked at like a lunatic.

[Saree_p]

Jojo, Lilly,

I'm so scared. I don't want to end up in hospital. My sister's wedding is a week out .
I'm honestly too scared to leave the house.


Jojo... I wish you where here. I now my bf sees it but he doesn't get it.
After this be will question us, kids.
What's wrong with me?

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Please go to the GP clinic today so that they can help you. Your bf is not mad at you he is most probably very concerned. Trust him as he cares about you and loves you.

I know you are very frightened to leave the house. Can you find some music to play that will help you through this. Some songs with good lyrics- I found this helped me a lot.

Even if you end up in hospital don’t worry as you can often get special leave for occasions such as weddings.

You are going to be okay Saree you just need some extra help at this time. I will be with you in spirit holding your hand.

Be brave you can do this xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗💐

[Saree_p]

Thanks jojo,

Not far from leaving house.
Music was my go to. Always has been really.

Guess this is just scary as it's one of the most debilitating times I've had. I've had one that was worse, but more depressive and months months long. This has been quite different. Normally I can hide these ones.

So sorry for all the issues

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

You don’t have to apologise. I just want you to get the help and support you need. It sounds as though the music will really help you which is great.

Take care and hope to hear from you soon if you feel up to it xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼💐🤗

[Saree_p]

Hi Jojo,
So mad it to the GP and he said to my bf he had to take me to the hospital.
He managed to do it despite me protesting..

Apparently I was having a psychotic episode.
Medication was administered and waited to see if it did- it did. The psychiatrist wanted to admit me but my bf promised me it wouldn't happen and it didn't.
We got sent home will a few drugs and CAT are supposed to follow up today (community mh), which to date they have not done.

The meds help but can feel the feeling creeping back in constantly.
Apparently I wasn't good at all and everyone co uild see that. My bf was very worried and you can see the relief on his face when the medication started to work.

We know distinctly this is what happened 6months ago, almost exactly to the day.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

I am so glad you kept the appointment at the GP clinic and very well done for going to the hospital. I have been very worried about you as I suspected you needed some extra medication.

Let’s hope community mental health services do follow you up soon as you need some sort of treatment plan so you can continue to improve and settle.

Are you able to sleep and eat properly? Try and make an effort to do so as that will help too.

Stay safe and let your bf continue to help you xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗💐

[Saree_p]

Hi Jojo,
Community mh (think it's the crisis team) won't follow through. They said they can do an assessment next week but that's all they will do, I told them what the psychiatrist said and they said they don't do that. Yet I believe it's what they are supposed to do.
So they'll ring Tuesday and see if I want to, but I don't see the point as they've only continually mucked me around.

Unfortuantly means I run out of medication as they were supposed to see me yesterday. So not sure what to do. Hope I'm settled enough I guess.

I haven't been, but just slept nearly 12 hours and kept dinner down last night 😊

I am really really tired.

I do wish we lived somewhere else, support might be easier.

Thanks for the help.

I am worried about what this means tho. Especially as it's happened a few times and has been times apart.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

I am glad the medication has helped you. Did you end up having an assessment by the community mental health team?

I too wished you lived somewhere else that provides better mh care as it is really hard hearing the struggles you go through.

When do you see your own psychiatrist as he would be able to continue the treatment you were prescribed?

I hope you continue to improve and are able to manage your symptoms. Take care xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗💐