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Not in a good space

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?
1,405 Replies 1,405

Hi Katy, sorry to hear you're still not feeling too good - it must be going around a bit, I'm low today too but you don't need that - so I hope the psych is able to help you a bit today. I'll try to reply a bit more on my thread. Just wanted to say hi here and hope you improve soon dear friend xx

Wow Katy girl, look how much everyone misses you when you're not around for a few days, you are very much loved in this space obviously.

So sorry you have been feeling out of sorts lately and I hope you will be ok. It always makes me sad when such an smart and lovely soul like yourself hits these low points - it cruel, and I am sending you my calmest of calmest vibes for better days ahead.

Hope Stormy is giving you lots of cuddles.

CS xo

Thanks so much calmseeker x

I'm lucky and grateful to have such beautiful people here helping me pick my pieces up and put them together again. Thankyou for the lovely calm vibes too, I need them a heap with uni starting next week! ❤️

Breathe... breathe....

Hope you're going ok. Katy x

Hi Katy!

So many wonderful people on your thread 🙂

I echo Calmseeker's wishes as I feel the same...

'I am sending you my calmest of calmest vibes for better days ahead'

and some Hugs too

Paul

Hello Katy, well done on your new title 'Valued Contributor' and sorry I'm late to recognise it.

It's awful when one day after so many days believing you have conquered this illness to wake up feeling this illness has returned, but remember you have had the strength before, either once or on many occasions to bounce back, it's another part which you may not have experienced or in another way.

We are all behind you.

Geoff.

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Thanks so much Paul and Geoff 🙂 Your kindness and support is appreciated x

Hey there again Katy,

May I ask what stage of your course your heading into? It must be an exciting and overwhelming time all at once starting back up again.

Its a brave thing to be doing uni whilst you battle with issues and MH. I want to start uni and cant bring myself to for a few reasons, most of them connected to anxiety. I wish I could overcome the things that are holding me back I really do. I think I am really missing out by not even trying.

Hope you are feeling better - CS

Hi Katy (and calmseeker)

I think you mention somewhere that you pass your course well. For six months a few years ago I worked full time at a universities admissions centre, assessing whether students' first degrees were good enough to get them into postgraduate courses. Well believe me, I was amazed that by far the majority of students passed their first degree (whether BA or BSc or whatever) at barely Pass level. Many were dotted with modified passes and fails. A degree that had a few Credits was great - one that had some High Distinctions was a standout. I was amazed at how badly many students got through their courses - and yet were applying for higher studies again.

I'm telling you this to give you confidence in yourself - trust me, many students pass very, very poorly. So if you do any better than that, you are doing very well indeed.

And just to make you chuckle - we required all students to provide a full transcript of their academic record. One young woman came in distraught and very angry because we had refused her entry to the postgraduate course she wanted to study, because despite our repeated requests, she never produced her academic transcript - just a copy of her actual degree (we had to assess every subject studied). Her outraged claim was that as she had studied at Cambridge University, her academic record should not be required - it was Cambridge after all!

To which one of us smartly replied, "What a pity you went to Cambridge. Now if it had only been Oxford, we could have let you in".

So have confidence in yourself - good students rarely do badly, they are too hard on themselves to permit it to happen.

And calmseeker, give it a go, do!

Hope this helps Katy!

hi calmseaker,

sometimes forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations can sometimes be the remedy for mental illness. the structure, distraction, social interaction and feeling of accomplishment can all really help. in saying that it can be a 2 edged sword , if the commitment is to stressfull and cam have the opposite effect.

I think you have to give it a go you won't regret trying . you will possibly regret not doing it.

glad to have you back Katy. good luck on your course .

Andrew

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hey calmseeker, Hanna, Andrew 🙂

It's absolutely brave, thankyou! I'm going into my final year and I never thought I could achieve what I have already. I amaze me lol. But I still get panicky at the start of every new semester (thanks anxiety!). I won't ask what's holding you back CS, but if you did want to chat about it, happy to. I think Andrew's advice is really great. Sometimes it's good to push ourselves. And in remembering that we CAN quit if we need to, it makes it easier to take that step. In addition you can also get your gp/psych to provide evidence that you have mental/physical issues that require modifications to enable you to succeed at uni, and the uni will work around those, so that's helpful too. I've been trying to get through without doing that so far, but it has affected my marks so maybe I should have.

That is interesting about the marks Hanna! It sounds like I'd get a good look in at postgrad study, which is good because I'm considering it. I actually maintained my grades because I wanted to do Honours this year, but given my situation at the end of last year things got messy and I was unable to complete a unit, and now I can't do it. It probably would have tripled my stress anyway so let's call it a blessing in disguise hey?

Love the story too! What a great comeback lol. I bet she was gobsmacked 🙂

Thanks for checking in and the pep talk, all of you! It's nice to see you all here and I hope you're all going well xxx