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Not in a good space

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?
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Just checking in on you Katy - hope you're busy with Uni and all is OK and that you're all right... wow we're going to get $750 from the stimulus package - I will be able to buy a good pair of walking shoes at last! Furry hugs from Sam, who had two swims in the river this afternoon - sorry if the hugs from him are a little damp... best wishes ooo

Hi there

Thanks for checking in on me 🙂

I've had a really good day. I drove to the city to see my son today, and we went to see the sculptures by the sea exhibition. It was too windy for a swim, but looking at all the art was great. Love to think of Sam having two nice swims, and I'm ok with soggy hugs lol. My poor girly was home alone all day (well, with cats), though I took her for a nice walk this morning before I left. And yay for $$$ 🙂

Hugs xo

Hi Katy,

Just checking in to say hi - I hope you are either busy with Uni or else having a relaxing nice time and everything is OK. I'll check in again later today. It's hot here which I don't like... anyway take care and pats to Storm xxx

Top of the morning to ya Katy!

How have you been after the rough patch you had recently? I hope you are well and coping ok amid these strange times we are having with the virus outbreak. Its all a bit crazy and unknown and most people seem to think stocking toilet paper and rice is the answer (move over scientists and experts as a cupboard full of sorbent is the key to fix everything lol).

For a while now I have been meaning to pick your brain about yoga. It sounds like an amazing thing to do, I have heard so many positive stories about how it is helpful to anxiety sufferers. Of course this makes me very interested as anything to help anxiety that doesn't involve taking AD's is worth a try I think. I have limited knowledge regarding yoga. My understanding is that it involves being still and then stretching. I have a real problem with being still! As soon as I sit still all I can focus on is my obvious quicker heart rate and racing head. Were you able to jump right in and do yoga or did it take a few attempts? Or am overthinking what is necessary to do it? Unleash all your yoga knowledge on me Katy - I am definitely interested in taking it up. How long are classes and how many times a week is beneficial?

Are you still physically going into your uni or has it gone all online? My daughters campus seem to be making noises towards shutting doors.

I hope your day is an awesome one.

Squeezy hugs,

CS xo

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Hanna 🙂 Hi CS 🙂

I've booked an early appointment with my psych for next week, as everything being out of control is making me feel really out of control and I keep bursting into tears. Add to that uni is really heavy going and we have no clue what's going on there either, it's a lot.

Plus, I like yoga classes and it's really my only outing, but I don't feel comfortable attending at the moment with the whole personal space factor. I've messaged the instructor and asked if she would consider outdoor classes again, as it feels like it would be safer.

Yes, CS, it's pretty much stillness and then stretching. There are different types of yoga but from what I can see they all operate pretty much the same. You begin with sitting or lying still and focusing on your breath. In doing so, you are "in the moment" and out of your head, which is why it's nice. The stretching bit (yoga lol) will vary depending on what style you do, but you'll work out what you like or don't. Just go with a beginner class or make sure they know you are a beginner. Stretching is beneficial as we hold tension in our body when we're anxious. At the end you do shavasana - lie on your back and relax for five, which is nice too.

Why is it so good? Well being in the moment, and stretching, but apart from that there's something else, and I'm not quite sure what. I always feel peaceful afterwards. My ex used to say my body exuded energy (like an aura) and my skin was zingy afterwards, so there's "something" I can't put my finger on. Classes are usually an hour. How often is beneficial? You can do yoga every day, so it's up to you what works. I'd go twice a week ideally. I did love it straight away. I reckon give it a go. Most places you can just pay for a single session, so do that and see if you like it. If you don't, maybe try a different class before you decide it's not for you. I'd love to hear about it if you do go 🙂

Take care both of you. Trying times, indeed xx

Hi Katy,

I'm sorry it's all got on top of you - yes it's stressful for all of us. We will get through this OK it's just going to be rather strange for a while. Take it easy and you know you can chat to me or Paws or CS or anyone here any time you like - it's always lovely to hear from you. And I do want to hear about how your smelly flower is going!

I am taking Sam to the vet this morning the poor guy has a sore weeping eye. He still sends furry hugs to you though! Take care oooxxx hugs

Hi Katy,

Appreciate the excellent yoga info. Gosh its sounds like such a beneficial thing to do for our type of diagnosis and all the yuckiness that comes with it. I have a few reservations with the 'stillness' aspect of it - I don't do still very well. Maybe yoga would be a fantastic way to learn stillness. I love the feeling of a stretched body, I think I need to take it up in the near future for sure. Thanks for taking the time to pass that info on.

You're sounding a bit overloaded at the moment. Me too. The uncertain times we're in don't help much and is very triggering I feel. I totally get how you're feeling. Yesterday I went out and about and had an ocular migraine at the shopping centre, quite severe one, they are always scary and I always feel like it could be a stroke. I haven't had one for over four months. I shouldn't have been surprised that I had one, last few days I have had some blurry vision and panic sensations, numbness in lips and other symptoms that usually come before I get the migraine. I haven't cried for over a year and this morning I bawled ( I hate crying as I usually dry reach and get too anxious). I am over suffering with anxiety, I am sick of it and I want it over with. I feel like its pointless to go to my GP, so I feel stuck. The one or two beautiful friends that I have are so compassionate but they will never truly understand how it feels to suffer with debilitating anxiety, therefore I am grateful for this space.

Today I am going to keep hydrated and try and find a good documentary to steer my thoughts in another direction as I really need to, I feel crap and I can barely stand it.

Squeezy hugs to you

CS xo

Hi Hanna

Yes, I'm sure things will get back to normal eventually. Yesterday I got some assessment pieces finished, so it felt good to get those out of the way. Today I'm trying to do some housework, and reading in between. The sun is shining and it's a gorgeous day which always makes me feel better. I think I'll go for a walk somewhere pretty later this afternoon. Nature is also good for improving the mood. As for my smelly flower, what a disaster! I told you it attracts blowflies yes? Well, they laid their gross little babies all up in it, and then ants came along and did whatever they were doing with the babies. It was all a bit yuk! I was not expecting that lol

How's little Sam going? Is his eye ok? How are you managing? Hugs to you both xo

Hey CS - thanks for the hugs - I'm squeezing you right back. I need hugs at the moment 😞

I'm sorry you're feeling it too at the moment, and no, people who've never experienced anxiety can't really understand how truly gross and debilitating it really is. It's not just normal worry, it's a whole body/mind experience.

One of my facebook friends (I have quite a few who I've never met, but been friends with for many years, we have a hobby in common lol) has been experiencing anxiety/sadness with everything going on. She said she's getting an understanding of what it's like to live in my head lately and it's not good. So I think that indicates the kind of pressure the current situation is putting on people like us, who already experience poor mental health.

How do you manage an ocular migraine? I get "normal" migraines - quite a lot actually. They normally come from my neck and shoulders because I carry so much tension. This has also improved with yoga so there's another benefit!

Did you find something good to watch? A nice distraction is definitely what's needed at the moment. I tried to create a nice space in the BB cafe yesterday, but it didn't really work out that way. I think everyone is under a lot of strain at the moment.

Well I don't know if you have sunshine your way, but I have oodles and it's lovely, so I'm going to send you some to share. Drink it in and take a nice big deep refreshing breath xo

Hi Katy, I hope you got out for a nice walk I am the same - being out in nature is the most calming thing to do... and it sounds like you've had quite a productive day.

Oooh that flower - I wouldn't have thought of the ants! How yuk! I hope when it fully blooms it's worth it all!!!

I think I just made it to the library in time this morning to grab a couple more books, since most of town is going to be closed now... so it's long walks for me and Sam and coffee from home...

Is your on campus course going online so you can finish it? Are you still enjoying the study? Do you have much contact with the other students? Anyway, I hope Storm and you enjoyed a nice stroll somewhere pretty this afternoon, it was a lovely day here too! Take care xx