New and not sure what to do

[Pysis]

Hi um I've never done anything like this so please tell me if I need to do something differnt

I'm a 18 year old male and I've been depressed for the passed 7 months or so it all started when I had to put my horse down when hiss throat closed over it was very traumatic for me and he was the second horse I'd put down in a period of three months. Then my friend was having issues with work so I was trying to support her and be there for her just checking in on her and making sure she was ok she was suffering bulling really badly in the work place. While I was trying to be there for her I got very sick with a stomach bug and was sick for over a month I lost 17kg over that period of time and ended up in hospital 3 times for a period of over a week while I was in hospital I was still helping my friend. Once I got out of hospital my friend was really strugling so I made an extra effort to help her and that's when I got really bad myself. I stated to remember repressed memories from my childhood of things my obusive father had done and stuff from me being at school and being severely bullied. up until 2 weeks ago I was coping alright but then my boss made me work on a puppet show that she was making and I wasn't getting paid for it it has been a difficult situation becuase she is also a friend and she has no idea that I have been struggling with my mental health at all. I have ended up feeling very used by my boss as I put in 7 days free work for her and missed out on seeing my grandparents who kind of replaced my dad in someways growing up and she had my camera for over a month. She has slowly demanded more from me as time has gone on and I ended up having to preform in front of people which I wasn't really up for and the whole situation has cuased me to end up where I was before in terms of my depression. I don't know why but when I get really depressed like I am I have panic attacks and end up messaging my friend who is the only person I've ever been able to talk to. She has a new job now though and is working all the time and me messaging her is causing her stress and I don't want to do that to her and she also has kids that's she's trying to be there for. I don't know how to stop myself messaging her when I have my panic attacks becuase at the moment it's the only thing that helps it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I guess what I want to ask is dose anyone have any suggestions as to what to do I'm in a remote town so getting proffesonal help is difficult.

[Cesca1557]

hey nath,

sorry i havent really been around the last few days,

how have you been going?

thinking of you

[Pysis]

Hi star

yeah things are going really well she's really understanding and we have had two phone conversations now. Haha yeah you did and they defently are there.

haha yeah if that bull wanted to he probably wouldn't have any problem going through. Yeah I'm determend to get all my hours up before then I need to be able to come and go as I want I'm sick of being trapped.

haha, not brave probably just a little stupid, haha. Yeah it took three shovels before I found a sharp one.

I've been ok thanks I was a bit scattered yesterday but overall I'm feeling a lot better.

how are you?

sending hugs and love

Nath

[Pysis]

Hi, pepper

yeah that's exactly what it's like just like I have to watch what I do all the time.

yeah we are planing to meet at the end of the month sometime.

yeah well I know how hard it's been for the little girl in my town so I figure if it helps her smile a bit it's worth it.

how have you been?

sending hugs

Nath

[Pysis]

Hi c

thats ok I haven't been around as much as I'd like to be either.

im really good thanks best I've felt all year I think.

how are you

thinking of you too

Nath

[swtpotato]

Hey Nath!

Best ive felt all year-

wow that’s amazing! It must feel so good to have that realisation! Draw the goodness out. I’m really happy for you Nath :))) even if you still feel scattered every now and then.

What are your favourite and most noticeable things to experience that have come back to you? (e.g ability to appreciate music)

M xxxx

[Cesca1557]

hey nath,

wow that is incredible that you feel the best you have all year! enjoy every moment of it, you definitely deserve a lot of happy positive days 🙂

ive had a rough few weeks, but seeing my GP tomorrow so hopefully we can alter my meds a bit and it will help

hows your day been today?

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Nath,

That's amazing. I'm glad to hear you have been feeling great 🙂 Best so far this year...wow...

All the best with meeting this lady later this month

Pepper xoxo

[Cesca1557]

hey nath,

i know you havent been on the forums much recently, but just wanted to check in and see how you have been?

thinking of you

- c

[velvetfaerie]

Echoing Cescas sentiments..........

[startingnew]

hey Nath how are you doing? hows the relationship going?