I'm not managing so well anymore

[Wednesday]

I am finding it harder and harder. I’m told I’m positive and resilient and maybe I have been. I’ve managed with the help of AD’s to get through. Now I am so ill I can hardly get out of bed. I spend too much time in hospitals and around doctors. Yesterday I saw a public hospital doctor that seemed to take delight in making me feel like a nuisance. He smiled and made smart jokes with his junior doctor at my expense. He didn’t listen he was so horrible and rude. Too many health issues, too many medications and too many doctors.

I have such a little quality of life. While not suicidal now, I am incredibly sad and can’t see a way out of this. The medications I take for auto immune disease have destroyed and made unrecoverable my immune system. I knew this when I agreed to take them, but I didn’t realise that it would mean I would always have some sort of infection, like last week’s pneumonia. Of course antibiotics are no longer useful and I can’t develop any new immunity. A trip to a coffee shop can send me back to hospital.

My friends and children are lovely but dispersed and not close by. I don’t say a lot because well it’s bloody boring and I’m sure it is more than they all need to know about. There is nothing anyone can do. They try with their suggestions of a new exercise or superfood, this dosen't help. They don't listen, it's too complicated so I don't bother explaining. I get comments like oh yes xx had pneumonia and they are really well now. that's great for xx. Or if you follow this exercise routine your blah will get better. If only I could get to the gym I would be there twice a week. Or take magnesium etc, yep I know all this. I know they are flailing around and trying to help but it feels like they are out of their depth and just saying things that aren't helpful. I don't stop them or try to explain anymore. Over the phone they can't see me so its easy.

My partner is away and to self involved when he is here to understand what I am going through.

I’ve been so independent all of my life from when I was a child. I don’t know how to manage this, how do I get a life? I’ve tried joining classes but I end up getting ill and not being able to attend. Maybe this really is as good as it gets and all the doctors and medicines in the world are not going to make me well.

I guess that is the outcome that I need to come to terms with. I've always believed in quality over quantity.

I’m sorry, I just needed to get this out.

[Wednesday]

Hello dear Croix,

What a wonderful idea, a happy thread, I love it. Of course you can use what ever you have written before. I'll try to come up with happy and add to it, I'm sure it will be a fun and successful thread, goodonya!

Thanks for asking I am puddling through. Another morning at the hospital today, with more test to follow, &^%$&%@ whatever....

My little curly doggie was bitten by a large Husky today and is not doing so well, lots of TLC required. The Husky was pulled off by his owner, but it was pretty horrid to watch. Hey I just realised he is on morphine for pain too, what a pair we make!

Still shaking, I think we shall both go to bed and cuddle for a while.

I hope all is well in your world.

Hugs, xx

[Guest_9809]

Good evening Wednesday.

I see you've been back to the hospital for more tests this morning so hopefully that all went well. Do you expect to have to wait very long before you get results, or will it all wait until the additional tests are done?

Oh dear, poor little happy! How awful for him to be attacked like that. And how dreadful for you to be there to see it occur but to be helpless and unable to do anything. Such a distressing thing to happen, for both of you.

It sounds like you've had him to the vet for treatment, given that he has been given morphine. Yes indeed ... what a pair you make! I know it would have been a deeply upsetting experience for both of you, so I hope you are both now resting comfortably in bed and in a deep and exhausted sleep.

Sending through a gentle hug to you and a very careful cuddle for poor little Happy. Keep me informed as to how he is going wont you? And you too of course!

Much love to you.

Taurus xx

[Croix]

Dear Wednesday~

Ah - hospitals - yuck! I hope the curly doggie is recovering and neither of you is in fact 'puddling'.

I've started that thread I mentioned at:

Forums/ Staying well/ Store Your Happy Memories Here:

And put in the story about visiting my Nain and Tide as a starter. I've also asked Blue to pop in a post abut here birds. When you are with a computer and are feeling up to it please add a happy too.

Have a hug

Croix

[Croix]

Dear Wednesday~

Thank you heaps and heaps. Not only was that little vignette delightful in itself, I think a great many will relate to it from personal experience.

I also appreciate you are not in the most comfortable of situations and the effort it must have taken. I hope things improve dramatically soon (for the curly dogie too of course)

The Zeppelin dog sends a wag.

Have another hug

Croix

[Music_Freak]

I'm sorry I haven't been visiting this thread, I feel kind of bad about it, because you always pop into mine. Oh well, I'm here now I guess 🙂

I haven't read through here, and since the past is the past and all that, I won't, just know that I have been thinking about you and everyone else I've gotten to know here

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Ava,

I do hope they get the test results to you without too much waiting. At least then you can have a way forward.

So sorry to hear about your doggy. That must have been so distressing. Is he starting to feel better now?

Thinking of you both and sending lots of love xx

[Wednesday]

Thank you dear Croix,

The curly one is doing much better. I've had to feed him tiny pieces of chicken because he found swallowing hard. But he's looking much brighter but still a bit shell shocked. I've been trying to train him not to bark. I heard him woof for the first time today and was very pleased.

Thank you for the hug and gave Zepplin dog a pat from me. xx

[Wednesday]

Hello Narelle,

So lovely to see you on my thread, thank you for visiting. I hope you are still flying high from your trip.

Hugs, xx

[Wednesday]

Thank you dear Carol,

It was awful to watch the curly one be mauled but he and I are recovering. As I said to Croix he is eating tiny bits of chicken from my hands since swallowing is tricky for him, but he is slowly getting better, lots of TLC involved. I think he has forgotten how to walk, (since I carry him everywhere) and eat normal kibble. And I thought my grandson had me wrapped around his little finger, I guess I'd better add the curly one to that theory too.

I started seeng a psych and you wont be at all surprised in her suggestions about my home life. But I have a timeline and will see how it goes. I feel pretty fly and ghost like at the moment, which isn't too bad. I can drift along with no noticing me. She seems to think that fading out is a bad thing and that my AD's are not working because of some cross drug interaction.

I hope you are feeling okay? You must be counting down the days until all your babies are back at school.

Lots of love and hugs, xx

[Music_Freak]

I have fallen back down to earth with a heavy, horribly painful thud, but I'm hoping that this awful fog doesn't last too long

How are you and your dog now? (I've forgotten his name, sorry) Having sick pets is awful because they can't tell us what is wrong and I personally worry probably too much