I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[Moonstruck]

Re weather:   Its the humidity that makes my part of the world so hard to take in summer....incredible.  we seem to escape all the destruction though which has been much worse in the South East than anyone can remember.  2024 must be a better year, a turnaround surely....the world is in a bloody mess...we seem "on the brink" of something.   Perhaps the guys with the sandwich boards were right!

I'm always sort of "in contact " with them at the club....due to Facebook (us only) page and newsletters etc...someone I know from there is never far away...of course we are in sort of recess now but we all know the others are there not far away.   I am so so longing to play again...but this pain Croix.....how can I do what I need to, if in pain??   does this mean I am finished.  It's all I have.  How many more losses do I have to face in his life? actually I suspect at least some of my pain is psychosomatic.....those days I was away It eased up incredibly and I hardly needed as many painkillers as when I am home.....it was amazing. The pain was hugely relieved, so what do I have to do..if it is psychosomatic?   What other answer could it be for the enormous change for those days? and how do I do it again?

I do have a counsellor person I will ask...as the GP is for the body, I need someone for my thoughts obviously!

what kind of a Christmas did you have?  I don't know if, or how many family or close friends you have where you are except Mrs C of course.     love from Moon S.....

[mmMekitty]

Hello Moonstruck,

I am glad to hear the recent storms haven't caused you much harm, (sorry, I'd forgotten you live closer to there than I do). It's the wind along with so much rain that does the most damage. it must be so hard for those without power for several days - I can't actually imagine how'd I'd manage.

Then we get a couple days of hot & humid weather, even overnight, I left my ceiling fan on so I could sleep. That's something I don't want to make a habit of doing. A couple hours ago, I had a little rainstorm, a short one, & for now it's just humid. I keep hoping we won't have more severe storms, especially not like those south of Qld have had. I was wondering what had happened to the El Niño?

I am also, so very glad you had some enjoyable time with your son & kids. If you can arrange with him to have more time with him & kids throughout the year, wonderful. I really hope you can talk to your son about that.

Yesterday was too hot to want to cook meals. Today it's too humid. It feels just as awful as the days of high temperature. Oh, well, salads are much healthier than my cooked meals are, anyway.

I was wondering if you have any physical therapy which could help with the pain, maybe from a physiotherapist or occupational therapist - that's a question you might like to ask your GP.

[sigh] constant losses really, actually can get us feeling down, feeling nothing is worth trying for fear of losing that too. I'm feeling the struggle of hanging onto what I have, let alonge learning anything new, my memory having become so unreliable. Gets me angry, which might actually be helpful, because it makes me want to fight rather than give in to the 'slide'.

Similarly, might your competitive streak help you to get back into doing what you want?

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[CMF]

Hi dear Mmon,

No more drama. We split. We still.see each other casually but at least I don't have to see or deal with her. THANK GOD. She can parade around in her bikinis,  run his life, have all his attention & I don't have to see it. When I see him it's just me& him. We laugh alot more, we talk. This week has been odd but I've been on leave so maybe just change of routine. Anyway. I'M FREE. Free of all the BS. 

Love ya

CMF X

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I'd have to agree that the pain does limit things, and from my own experience I don't think the effect is any the less for being a product of anxiety. Of course I rather suspect yours have a physical cause.

As I think has been pointed out one can go down the medical path wiht treatment for the underlying physical condition and meds for the pain,

One can see if physical therapy such as a physiotherapy can help .

Irrespective of the cause I've found that being really occupied has lessened my consciousness of the pain, and I think you have found the same when you were away. The upshot being if you are offered a tournament don't refuse becuse you fear pain might hold you back - get immersed in it and see what happens.

Christmas is always busy, I try to do more over Christmas as people tend to be more unhappy and isolated, however I'm looking forward to new year's eve when Mrs C and I will drive to the beach and watch the fireworks at midnight.

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Dear Croix....I wonder if you know what a significant phrase you used "get immersed in it and see what happens"....see what happens!!   Of course, and I have a suspicion that I hope is right...at least it maybe possible that what happens is that I soar above the pain, if any is still overcoming me.  It could happen!  are you wiser than you look?  Do you have more confidence in me,,than I have myself I wonder?  as soon as I read "see what happens".....I thought he maybe right!!  If I can get the guts to take myself along and try....you just never know.....I want to do it...just scared my body will let me down.....

[quirkywords]

“”Get immersed in it and see what happens,” yes moon Croix advice is helpful. I did that about 6 weeks ago and so far things are ok. 
of course for me I felt desperate to try something new but I did immerse myself without knowing it.
i hope things improve for you. 

[Croix]

Dear Moon (wiht a wave to Quirky)~

You did say "I want to do it...just scared my body will let me down....."

I guess my own answee to that is OK, it let me down (which it has, a couple of times recently my right leg simply acted as if it was not there, and down I went.  I was able to recover and business went on as usual.

It must have seemed pretty dramatic (if you will pardon the phrase) as several people came up to me afterwards, or offered assistance at the time, and asked if I was OK. I was and I said so, I offered no reason and now it is forgotten.

The chances of it happening ot you are small, as I am not sure it is an all-or-nothing matter like my leg collapsing was, but somethng that simply gets worse and worse, and that is where being immersed comes in.

It's been a huge part of your life so worth a try?

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Croix....re power of the mind over pain in the body......have you seen that interesting video clip (they had it on in the GP waiting room once)..two medics ran this test on volunteers...a young woman covered her left side with a big cloth and put her arm out of sight behind a screen.  Her right arm stretched out in front of her and in place of the left hand (hidden) they placed an artificial one looking identical to her plus hand, fingernails etc.  

It looked, even to her, that she had her two arms lying on the table in front of her.  They then proceeded to touch the false arm, first with a feather tickling gentle set of touches that the woman was convinced she could feel..."Ooh that tickles" etc. (her real arm was out of sight behind a screen remember?) then they got a bit tougher and used a tiny pin prick. and sure enough she said "Ouch".  She was amazed at herself as she knew full well the "arm" they were touching was false and no one was touching her real arm at all.   still, she insisted she "felt" what they were doing.

How can this be Croix?  She was watching but how could she feel anything?  The arm was a false replica!  How can I adapt this sort of Mind Over Matter to my own pain?  any ideas? Moon S

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

That is a most interesting experiment which I've not heard of before. I have heard of people having 'phantom sensations' from missing limbs though if there is any link to that experiment I'm not sure.

If I had to guess I'd say that maybe expectations come in to it somehow, perhaps seeing something that would normally cause a reaction can be enough, seems not logical but you never know.

As to how to live with pain I do think if I occupy my mind then pain can become less obtrusive. Even thinking about answering your post took my mind away from it for a little while (so write more posts:)

I also find expectations can limit a person. Because I am fearful a particular action like walking a set distance has caused pain in the past I am tempted not to do it again. If I gave in then I'd end up walking ever shorter distances.

I'm not rying to suggest how far you walk or what you do, just that for me expectations can be good or bad.

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Croix...Lorimer Moseley is a Pain Scientist...watched an interesting video clip his last night.(my physio recommended I read some of his stuff but our Library didn't have any..strange!). I watched Tame the Beast...it was great to see and made me want to investigate his findings and advice more in depth.  He's not a crank ...he's genuine....Another is "Explain Pain". so have a Google, see what you think.

I asked the physio if the message is sent from the body's pain site to the brain..or the other way around.  Because this connection is so powerful I want to harness some of that energy so I can try and control or direct it myself!   I know how powerful my mind is....She said the messages become "two way" after a length of time....from body to brain,  brain to pain site, working together to fulfil my expectations and attention to "whether my pain will be bad or manageable today".    As I live alone and with no partner to concentrate on....you will realise I have plenty of time to dwell on myself ,my mind and body.   It goes straight to thinking and talking about the "pain" so no wonder it keeps increasing and won't go away!

Lorimer Moseley.....he seems to understand what I am going through. Wish I could make an appointment with him!........Moon S......