I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[Moonstruck]

Thank you everyone including Sophie from BB team.  Yes I did ring.  It went well, maybe too well and I hope I conveyed my honest lowest, dark place I have been in.   The counsellor actually said that a phrase I used really had an impact on HER and she would  remember it as it was so relatable and clearly stated!   she said she had really enjoyed talking with ME.......so I was sort of reminded of my resilient qualities, few that they maybe.....if she noticed them, then I will try and recognise my strengths too I guess.

We particularly spoke of my feeling that when I lost my partner, I lost "me" also....the woman I was!  She has gone, I cannot get her back.   she pointed out I had been trying for ages now to "get her back as I miss her" when the reality is that perhaps I will never "get her back". How could I?  She was one of a couple and the other one has died....he will never come back.  I have been clinging onto the hope that if I only try hard enough, I will get "her" back..   she was great...confident, happy, connected to life and others...perhaps its time I started "re inventing" a new me....another "her" that I can be proud of and smile again.   Smile from the eyes, not just superficially for the camera.   anyway, I just wanted to let you all know I did ring..   Moonstruck...x

[CMF]

Oh Moon, that's wonderful. Yes, I think it is time for a new you. Yes, you are strong & resilient. Yes, we all love talking to YOU. I have known you on these forums for about 7 years now Moon. I adore you.  Your honesty, your care, your friendship.  You have so many things we all love about you. It may not be easy finding your new self but you will. I think Quirky's thread is perfect.  Who are we all after we lose someone whether it be a break up or passing? We all need to find ourselves again, going solo. It will take time but you can do this.

Love ya

Cmf x

[quirkywords]

moon glad the counsellor went well.

CMF I found your words of support to moon so refreshing. 

[HappySheep]

Well done. I'm so pleased it went well.

You may not ever be exactly the same but you can rebuild a happy, confident, connected you after a death.  One day you may ever find you are enjoying the process of discovering the new you.

Regards, HS.

[Moonstruck]

CMF.   your words meant more to me than I can say.  They touched my heart and isn't it strange that we can say such beautiful things and encourage one another....with all of us so very different and never having met in person......put our feelings of love for one another on a screen and have those words be the right ones?  I hope your future turns out to be rewarding and just what you need.....I have a feeling it will be, you deserve much happiness darling.      Moon S.  xxx

[CMF]

Thank you dear Moon. I'm glad my words made a difference. 

Yes we are all different,  yet the same. We all come here as we need support that we may not find or have elsewhere.  It's easier here as we don't feel judged, or like a burden. We can express ourselves as we are anonymous to some degree. We all want & need the same thing here & even though only a few may reply to our threads there is a array of different experiences & circumstances to draw upon. Someone always has your back here whether it be one of us or a moderater. We all feel, relate & share how each of us feels cos of our  experiences. Our experiences may be different but our feelings the same.

Luv ya

Cmf

[quirkywords]

CMF your words 

Our experiences may be different but our feelings the same.

This touched me.

[CMF]

Thank you dear Quirky ❤️

[Moonstruck]

Hello Friends

Thought I'd better check in...I am still alive and have to be now whether I want to or not....for the next number of weeks at least as I seem to go from the sublime to the ridiculous...one extreme to the other.  I have gone from lonely days and nights with weekends where I spoke to and went nowhere, (while driven mad with heat and humidity). now I have not one, but 2 activities on the go at once and doubt of course are trying to seep through and tell me it's too much and I can't cope.  (I have in the past)...."doubt and worry" tell me I am not as young and energetic as I used to be; that I'm old and should be winding down activities not adding them...(one of them I dearly love and have done for years....the place, the people, the tasks involved)...the other is a commitment I have no choice but to see through to the end as I am being paid a small amount.....please wish me luck and strength .   Moon S

[Paw Prints]

Hello Moon,

Lass getting old is not a reason for winding down activities, grab as much as you can & go for it. Keeping active & engaged is what we all should be doing, it's good for us both physically & mentally. Tell "doubt & worry" to go to blazes, you will do what you want to do no matter what they say.   I have belief in you.

Hugs

Paws