I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[quirkywords]

Moon 

• I am sorry you have been coping with  so much pain. I have had really strong pain but it comes and goes. I was thinking of finding a chronic pain management course.

[Croix]

Dear Moon

It's been  little while since we talked and I'm wondering how you are getting on. Is the pain more under control now?

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Hello Croix...glad you haven't forgotten me, but I guess on this forum people do disappear and we never know what happened.  I have written but they didn't appear. I was just about to write this, this minute and I saw your message.

R U OK day was a couple of weeks ago and I actually hoped someone would ask me...I really did . (people in my real life I mean, not my B Blue Forum correspondents)   I wondered Has any of my friends noticed? Have they taken seriously when I tell them of my debilitating pain, my son's divorce, financial problems,

[Moonstruck]

oops...there's a glitch somewhere....I wrote a lot more than that...never mind. Physio gave me exercises to do at home...have care plan for 5 visits...and got into a Pilates class again. finally Dr gave slightly stronger painkillers but doubt will ever disappear completely...it's been months of feeling as low and alone as I can recall.   I really wanted someone to ask me R U OK....but they didn't.  

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

You sound as if the physical side has improved a bit - still pain, but stronger meds and Pilates!

Yes it sucks when the people you know do not ask RUOK, is seems they just don't care. Experience tells me it is often not a question of not caring, but fear that you will say "No, I'm not OK"  and they will be stuck as to what ot do - panic!.

They fear they might make matter worse and don't realise that they have the correct equipment built in -a pair of sympathetic ears.

Now how could I forget you Moon? You are wrong to think of us as 'correspondents'. Sounds like someone who works for Reuters News overseas.

We are real friends and companions who have known and liked you for years, whole people, not just typed words on a screen. We have also welcomed you friendship and companionship in return.

Guess who said:

"Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation"

Now conversation we can manage:)

Be well Moon and don't give up on bowling in whatever form

Croix

[mmMekitty]

Hello Moon,

I recently joined a different gym & they sent me an email about a fundraising challenge from the RU OK? people. It didn't mention when the day was, & given what you say, it was before I got the email from the gym.

I'm disapointed I haven't heard any ads on tele, but then again, I'm not tuned into the tele all that much, & mostly on ABC or SBS.

Ideally we ought not have to rely on things like RU OK? Day, or any other prompting from people around us, especially those close to us to ask us "Are you Okay?"  If people close to us don't ask, how likely is it a co-worker, casual friend, oacquaintence or stranger will ask?

It seems more likely you will find someone who will sit & listen & support you, a) if they are close friends or family, b) are people with a compassionate nature & c) if we accept the risk that they will disappoint us if we take the initiative & begin the conversation ourselves. What do we hav to lose? As things stand, you are already feeling your feelings & needs are not being recognised & acknowledged, let alone, supported.  

*

I'm glad you have stronger pain meds & are able to get back into the pilates. I have been told, & am hopeful exercise will indeed be of benefit for my movement, stability, strength & overall well-being, including having a positive effect on my moods. Beside, it really can be fun.

I wonder, do yu do your pilates with a group? Is there the possibility of a soicial aspect to these days when you do pilates?

For myself, it is more practical to have my support worker helping me, showing me how to do the exercises I'm doing (not pilates - maybe later), even some on a mat on the floor. The floor exercises are very uncomfortable for me, so I'd rather use the machines for both strength & cardio workouts. then, afterwards, we go for lunch.

You, Moon, take the advice you have been given about  what exercises to do, how much & how often, but also listen to your body, for any sign you are putting too much strain on things. Some discomfort is to be expected, but not more than the minimum level of pain. If it all feels very comfortable & easy, I wonder if I'm achieving anything.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Croix]

MK~

"Beside, it really can be fun."

Clockwork mouse?

-C

[quirkywords]

Moon

I too realise my pain is here stay. People ask how are younbut they are tired of me.ling them. Even had a relative say must be feeling better now. So I say I am fine. ,

Some one gave me their notes on CBT for pain management. 

Moon hope Pilates helps you. 

[mmMekitty]

Hello Moon & Croix,

Mot sure what you mean, Croix. What I mean is that at I hadn't thought exercise could be fun, just getting hot, sweaty, exhausted & sore. Now I'm trying to see if I can better my previous performances on machines, weights, or (like for the rowing machine or recumbant bite) how quickly I can finish a virtual kilometre. Having my support worker beside me on her own machine, we can have a virtual race, too. I am finding these things are fun.

How are you feeling today, Moon?

I wonder if you have taken any virtual (within your imagination) trips to the Sushi Train? I thought of you tody, when I had some sushi. It was very busy. I noticed people were mostly looking & deciding what to buy, not noticing I have a white cane & didn't allow space for my support worker & I to get past them to the exit when we left. Then she went back for more soy sauce fishes.

Hugzies

mmMekitty 

[Croix]

Dear MK~

when I suggested exercise could be fun it was by chasing a clockwork mouse:)

-C