I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[Moonstruck]

Just letting know to anyone who may be interested...I've had my dreaded travel away and back home safely with my companionship cat realising that he is "home" and his "person" hasn't deserted him.  He's pretty cool but hasn't moved very far from me...so we both survived.

My beautiful son and grandson are lovely humans and I can't believe I am part of their existing at all....a mess like me?  It was strange actually...just "chilling"...nothing I "have " to do, at what time, keep appointments etc...very different experience for me.

My plane was delayed quite a bit at one stage which stressed me of course, but I guess I shared that stress with many others on there with me.

anyway I survived and hope I have learned something about myself...not sure what. But each time I go away, leave my comfort familiarity is a sort of epiphany...I read a lot and for the first time really, faced and tried to begin accepting my older years with grace, and stop denying it was happening.  And then in magazines and social media we read about how to look younger, how to make more friends,do more activities, dress as young as we like ....I have seen this message carried out by a friend who just wasn't physically up to so much activity, nor really cared what makeup or creams she used on her face.....she tried to show that old saying..you know the one...."age is just a number". well I don't agree with that any more. Lets be realistic....age comes to all of us (if we stay alive) the young and beautiful too...it's real...It's parts of your body changing, its not having as much energy as a 25 year old...it isn't "just a number". its a reality of life and very very hard to handle that you are not warned about.. Can someone give me their understanding of that other old saying "growing out gracefully" or "disgracefully" depending on where it is said, or written.....which are we supposed to do?

[quirkywords]

Moon

“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” – Ogden Nash

8. “I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.” – George Burns

[quirkywords]

moon

a sign of old be my post decides to send it self even though u finished. I remembered these quotes my Parents used to say and checked I had remembered them correctly.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been .mark .

[Croix]

Dear Moon (with a wave to Quirky)~

As expected your visit was a roaring success, surrounded by and giving love. Of course you are part of their lives.

It is nice to be home again (a certain cat would agree) however please do not worry too much about age. what you lose in energy you make up for in wisdom, experience and self-knowledge.

As for aging gracefully, I guess it is trying to pretend you don't need spectacles (and keep bumping into lampposts), or dress like a seventeen year old at seventy one (no I'm not referring to your age). At any age one can dress gracefully.  Of course boots are acceptable at any age in the right circumstances.

Being a respectable conservative walrus I've no idea what 'disgracefully' means:)

The only other advice I can gives comes from the usual source:

"Never trust a woman who wears mauve, whatever her age may be, or a woman over thirty-five who is fond of pink ribbons."

Croix (who is always just the right age)

[CMF]

Proud of you Moon

[Paw Prints]

Hello Moon,

I'm so pleased for you that your trip went well.

I think we can still dress well as we age, we don't need to become a frump, but being realistic about what we like to wear & what looks nice on our changing body shape.  If you think of famous people... Judi Dench has allowed herself to age well, she no longer has a girlish figure & you can see the wrinkles, yet she still manages to look stylish, even in casual day to day wear.  

I think aging gracefully or disgracefully simply means accepting we can be ourselves & do (or wear) what makes us feel comfortable with ourselves & our lives.  It is more about who we are rather than how we look.  Yes we don't have the energy of a 25 year old, but that doesn't mean we have to retire to a rocking chair with a rug over our knees.  Doing whatever we can to keep our body & mind active is important.  If there is something we love doing, keep doing it as long as possible.  We adjust children's activities to suit their age & abilities without thinking that strange, why should it be any different as we age.

I find the "ideal retirement" etc guff on social media/advertising irritating to say the least.  I doubt that the majority of us fit that supposed ideal as we age.  

Hugs

Paws

[Moonstruck]

Paws...thank you for your wise words. Yes there is something I love doing and have done since a teenager...I am still doing it but afraid not much longer.  I am involved in it for past weeks now and afraid it is taking much more out of me...energy wise, pain-wise etc....I am trying to walk through, breathe through the effort it is taking on my body and keep concentrating on the many positive wonderful aspects about the activity.....it is making me very tired also.

I also find GPs so reluctant to prescribe pain killers that actually "work" i.e. new Govt regulations, thinking everyone who takes medication is going to abuse them and become an addict....No I won't become an addict...In fact I make the pills (which took so much persuading and checking before she prescribed them) I make them last as long as possible, really spread them out but the pain becomes unbearable....what are folk like me supposed to do?  grit our teeth and smile through the pain?    I wish I could find a hypnotist who works with pain as I am sure a lot of it begins in my mind. The messages between our brain and body move very quickly, too quickly for us to intercept them...reading about this connection is very interesting.  But when you are in pain, imagined or not, you will do anything to relieve it...no matter the cost,  no matter what gives some relief...you just want the pain to stop.  Why don't GPs understand this?  The most addictive substance out there is nicotine and yet anyone can smoke to their hearts delight, similarly with alcohol...available to everyone, everyewhere and its addictive too....why single out the people like me who just need pain relief?  (sorry for complaining Paws...I got carried away)....Moon S x

[Moonstruck]

I just felt like writing this in case anyone was reading it and feeling similar.  Suddenly I feel incredibly lonely...I had never felt that emotion before would you believe?  I was aware that I was often "alone' but never felt "lonely" or desperately needing company.    My partner died 4 years ago and we didn't spend each minute or even every day together...and it didn't matter in the least.  We liked our own lives and activities but had a wonderful relationship and I never ever felt lonely.  I have always had interesting jobs, workmates, other mates, kids growing up and my life has been very full.......I cannot bear this dreadful feeling that I am dealing with now and it took a while to realise it had a name....lonely.  sounds pathetic doesn't it?  Moon S x

[CMF]

Not pathetic. Human.

I understand. 

[CMF]

I feel a little sad & lonley too Moon.