I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[Moonstruck]

I need to ring and talk to a support phone person.....but we hear and read alll the time over past weeks and still now of course, the immense increase in callers as It always is at Christmas.   so I don' want to overload them and perhaps take someone's place who is on the brink of doing the ultimate.  However that leaves me with no one to vent , no one to talk to, no one to let it out to, no one to give a bit of kindness or understanding. No one "out here" understands.  It's Xmas....you are supposed, its almost the law...to be happy and full of the joy that being with loved ones brings.

If you are not, you are a pariah, not wanted, a crazy idiot to be avoided, spoiling everyone's fun.....so you shut up.  with no one to talk to about it....because the phone support is overloaded already.  It is again, my most difficult time of year....I cannot take much more of it.

I am  getting lower and lower.  am I the only one? Please someone answer this....Please.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Moonstruck, 

Thank you for your post to the forums. We wanted to say that we hear you are feeling isolated and that no one understands but we want you to know that the community is here for you and understands what a difficult time of year this can be. We hope you find some comfort in sharing here, and in hearing from the lovely community members, many of whom will be able to relate to what you’ve been through.  

Please know that you can always reach out to Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or through Online Chat here. Please do not hesitate to give us a call, rest assured you are not taking someone else's place, we are here to listen 24/7 to anyone in need of support and it sounds like you would benefit from talking this through.

Thank you for having the bravery to share and know that you are not alone, this time of year can be tough but being kind to yourself and not pressuring yourself to feel a certain way can relieve some of that end of year pressure. Thank you for giving this community a chance to offer you their understanding and advice. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else.  

Kind regards,  

Sophie M 

[Paw Prints]

Hello Moon,

I hear you lass.

I will start a new thread for xmas this year & those of us who aren't part of the "happy happy" crowd

Hugs

Paws

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

No you are not the only one, in fact I think it is a bit of a myth that Christmas is a 'happy time'. For may it is just the opposite, and feeling one is out of step is a mistake and leaves one feeling isolated.

True there may be some happy families come together for a gathering, however Christmas has become more and more a commercial venture with no real link to peace or joy, just a flood of presents that are not really needed, and probably in terrible taste anyway.

Sophie_M has given you good advice, get on the phone and hear a human voice - more than once if you want.  Help lines are not silly, if they anticipate an upsurge in calls then they will roster on extra staff, so no, you are not taking anyone's place, and you really are just as important as anyone else.

Don't forget I'm sure your son would appreciate a call or two as well.

Have a quote form a different source:

"Bah -Humbug!"

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Thank God it's over.................

[quirkywords]

Moon I have only just seen your post and sorry you were so down. I find it a difficult time as I dont celebrate Christmas and itbis all anyone talks about so I feel like an outsider. 

i feel a connection to you and even if I reply later I am still thinking of you. 

[CMF]

Dear Moon,

Hope you are feeling better. I can't wait till new year's eve is over. I just want to get on with things. 

Hugs 

CMF

[Moonstruck]

Dear CMF.....yes I feel better now Xmas and what I find worse...the long weeks of building up to it.  The actual day is just a day.  I was with one of my sons and his kids before "the day". which of course is always special.  I can have a wonderful time with friends and those family I love any day of the year....that's what annoys me so much....the emphasis on Dec 25!!

The friends whose company and conversation of those I enjoy were doing what I was doing....spending the day with those they feel "obliged" to, rather than share close communication etc with those we "choose" to.    so I just ate the food and made the polite answers to questions and relaxed with music, my favourite TV shows and my cat.   Another one done and dusted.   Hope you are managing your complicated and drama filled personal life.....nothing is ever dull at your place is it CMF?...much love...Moon S

[Moonstruck]

Oh Quirky.....you "feel a connection" to me....I wonder why....but glad you do, I really am.  I am not so down any more because its OVER!   See I'm OK once the ghastly media crap and stores and malls going over the top stops the nauseating crap we are tortured with each year......Once they all stop, I'm OK.  We are going through a heatwave just now after dreadful damaging storm/tornado on the Gold Coast.  Worst ever known in that area.....people killed.   Thousands still have no power.  Good  to hear from you.  I find you a bit of a "closed book"...so much we don't know about you, your deep feelings, opinions, personal life,......a bit of a mystery.   Thats fine with me.  Whereas I usually spill too much out...well lets face it.  there aren't many places where we can and still remain anonymous is there?  May as well vent ourselves to pieces right here doncha think?    

Who are you quirky.?...tell me about yourself??

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I'm glad for you the day is over and you had memories of your recent visit and your cat to keep you company. It may be just my fancy but I get the impression you are dealing with 'that one day of the year' (apologies Alan Seymour)  better as time goes on

I hope are not getting too hot and the weather settles down. Does not sound like fancy boots weather.

Have oyu been in contact with anyone from the bowling club?

Croix