how do i get started im so confused

[willdo]

not sure how , were to get involved with the forums. please help

[Aaronsis]

Hey Will

It is great to be back on here and I am doing somewhat better, thank you so very much for your care and for your message of support to me. I really can't believe I am going through this again, but anyway, that is life and here we are...

I actually don't know what I was typing to be honest...I have even called people by the wrong name on that day that I was taking a break...I was letting Mark know, another gent I chat to on here as well as you and I think I just typed mark when I meant to type Will..I am so sorry and it was a typo but my brain was all over the place.

I hope you are doing well Will and that things are improving for you, it is great to chat some more to you and thank you once again for your support to me.

Huge hugs

Sarah xx

[willdo]

Hi ,

Do you want share of what happened few weeks back, or you have let go?

with me i had an increase (yet again) in medication dosage, the fog has somewhat lifted on my depression , but still battling with it.

My anxiety is still pretty high and my OCD pretty much the same.

It was so difficult for me to say No to a work assignment last week (2 weeks of reconciliations). i felt so bad and pretty much useless. I was worried about starting the job only to give up a day or so later. that's my MH for ya.

Its so good to have you back.

William

[Aaronsis]

Hey,

That is so great to hear that you feel like the fog is lifting on the depression, that is so great to hear. I understand that it has been a bit of a battle for you with the medication, but what a great outcome that you feel like the increase is doing it's job and that you are feeling the benefits, that is fantastic and I am so happy for you.

Hopefully with the spotlight off the depression you can look at the anxiety and see what things you can do to help with managing this, you are already doing so many great things so hopefully in time it will start to ease a bit for you.

I haven't really put what happened a few weeks ago behind me, it is more of just a time that I need to get back into my life and start doing what it is that I love and that is being here and talking to people and hopefully making a difference.

My friend took her life, she struggled with depression and was living in a fairly remote place with her husband and her two small children, she did suffer depression and it was known. She seemed to be getting worse so she came to the mainland to a hospital that gave her some acute care, they didn't really like how she was responding so she was put into a facility to help her. She was allowed visitors and she was allowed to leave for small parts of the day to go to the shops and to get out and about. In this time she bought "means" and that night she took her life. I am still in recovery from my brother so to have another suicide was just so confronting and so incredibly overwhelming. In my 44 years I had never experienced suicide in my life and now in 6 months I have had 2....I am just so devastated and so very sad, for us, for her family, for her children and just in general that she felt this was her only choice.

Thank you for caring and for your support, it really is so nice to be back but I really did just need some time to deal with me and to get better and fill my cup back up so that I could then go on to reach out to others.

That was really brave of you to go to work, I am sure that you really struggled to get there so that is great that you were able to go. I hear that you are feeling disappointed that it only lasted for 2 days, but hey, 2 is better than not going at all, you tried and you did what you could. I think you should feel like you are making some great progress. The next assignment might be a better fit and you might feel more comfortable and who knows, it could last longer. Baby steps.

Huge hugs

Sarah xx

[willdo]

Good morning Sarah,

How are you today. Hope all is well and you have a great day.

So sorry to hear about your friend. lost for words. depression is a dark, dark place to be in. hope that time will heal the pain.

look after yourself so you can look after people like me who needs your daily hugs.

William

[Aaronsis]

Good Morning Will

Thank you again for your kind words and I am doing ok, I have alot of support which I am very grateful for and I also have people here, like you who care also and that is so important to me.

What is on the agenda for you today? I have some spreadsheets to do which I really do not enjoy but hey...get them done and over with.

I had a really lovely dinner out last night so I am feeling very loved today and so grateful for people I have in my life.

My daughter is trying out for a new football team tonight so that is exciting and my son has baseball photos so another busy night ahead for me.

So glad to hear that my hugs make you feel happy Will, I hope that in some small way I am helping you too and that you have happiness and a smile.

Hugs hugs hugs

Sarah

[willdo]

Hi ,

Not much today , i'm doing an OCD course with eCentreClinic run by macquarie university (cannot remember how i got their information). but its a free course over five weeks 5 hours per week, "The OCD Course provides good information and teaches practical skills to help manage symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder".

so i may spent an hour or two on it.

Maybe cook dinner depending who is going to eat. the kids are buying ready to eat diet meals (sometimes using them as an entree lol).

The kids arranged to go out bowling tonight. hopefully i'll be going as well. We went out for dinner on Sunday and they were surprised that i tagged along.

As to your spreadsheet chuck some my way and i'll finish them for you.

BTW how is your lawn???

William

[Aaronsis]

Hey

The online course sounds really interesting and I am so very proud of you for finding it and then starting it to help yourself out, that is so great and also shows how far you are coming in your healing Will, this is so great.

That is really funny about the diet meals being an entree, it made me laugh as I can see how they are no where near big enough for young adults...lol

YAY for you Will, this is such great news too that you went out for dinner with your family, that is so fantastic! You are really making such huge steps forward and I hope you are feeling proud of what you are achieving...bowling is so fun and I hope you can join the family tonight, there are sure to be some funny moments that will make you feel so wonderful.

Spreadsheet offer accepted....i actually hate excel with a passion and try to avoid it at all costs so anyone who is willing to do it for me is my new best friend...lol

As for my lawn..arrrggggghhhh ..it is still there...I haven't managed to poison it and fill it over with concrete although it sounds like a wonderful idea. I actually mowed the back lawn on the weekend and it was so long I did it without the catcher and will let it dry out a bit and redo it this week....god I hate mowing the lawn.....lol..that is funny that you remembered that!

S xx

[willdo]

Hi Sarah,

How are you this morning? hope your OK and will have a great day.

Not sure what to post, but thought i need to keep in touch as i really enjoy the communication.

My Anxiety is still an issue. I don't want to get addicted to the medication i take for it.

Overall i feel that i came a long way over the last few weeks or so.

I'm hopeless at writing/typing, i got so much to share but don't know how to put it into words.

have a great day.

William

[Aaronsis]

Hey Will

I am doing pretty well thank you and thank you for asking about me, that is really lovely.

I am so happy to hear that you also feel like you are making progress in your journey and I too can notice the difference in you too, well done and it is so very great.

If you do feel like you have so very much you want to share and to say you don't have to write it like paragraphs if that is too difficult...you can just put it in dot points if that is easier for you. I am happy to chat and to help you with whatever it is that you want to share and hope that I can provide you with some support around what you are thinking and feeling.

It is great to have this communication and the support right here, I use it for my daily dose of wellbeing too.

Hope today brings something awesome for you Will...I just ate the best cookies ever so I am super happy!

Hugs

Sarah xx

[willdo]

Hi Sarah,

how are you today? hope you have great day.

I'm still struggling with this Anxiety and OCD , doctors say they should have subsided with the medication. (the main reason they changed the medication i was on for 20 years)

its like living in fear all the time , butterflies in the stomach and chest. not sure what to do. i take medication to ease the Anxiety but worried about their addiction.

like i mentioned i'm glad that the dark clouds have lifted (depression). maybe that's why i'm noticing this Anxiety a bit more right now. something i'll have to discuss with my doctors.

I'm going to see mum this morning , Debi made her a vegan cake. (mum is Very religious and fasting for Easter).

keep battling on....

William