how do i get started im so confused

[willdo]

not sure how , were to get involved with the forums. please help

[Aaronsis]

From the bottom of my heart Will thank you.

This is the reason I am here, to support and to give people hope that there are people who care..if I can save one life or even make an improvement to someones life or even their day, even how they feel about themselves I have won.

My brother couldn't fight for life, so now I do it on his behalf, I talk to amazing people like you that fight every damn day and find one small thing to keep them going, you are my heroes as you are choosing to stay when some do not.

I am here for you Will and I am so proud to be your friend.

Hugest of hugs, you have made my day.

Sarah xxx

[willdo]

Hi Sarah,

Another day! another wonder what it will bring?

already spent an hour outside cleaning up before the forecasted rain (7 days in a row) comes. hope the forecast is correct.

Deb is home (took the day off) doing all the washing , and preparing for her holidays. its suppose to rain all the time at gold coast whilst there. she doesn't seem to care. (i guess she just wants out for few days, don't blame her)

I slept without the medication to assist me sleep, again i must have woken up on the hour after 1am. (better than taking tablets). I need to try and stay up later and later (this phobia of mine!!!!!!!!). My son gets married in early May- leaving early will not be an option. (i'm so anxious about it ).

Other than that i'll cook dinner , help deb get ready . not much else.

You have a great day.

William

[Aaronsis]

Hello my friend

That is fantastic that you have already done some things that make you feel good and you can see you are contributing to the house hold and that get you outside, that is fantastic....good on you!

That is no good at all that Deb is still not that well but hopefully some time away and some refresh time will help her and give her some charge in her batteries and will come home fresh. Same for you too, while she is away it can give you some time to appreciate her, not that you don't, but to move outside your square and we can tackle some things that she normally would do and see how you feel about picking up these things.

Well done on trying another night without the meds, that is so great to put yourself out there to see how you go, while it is frustrating that you are waking at least you are still resting and feeling peaceful.

That is so very exciting that your son is getting married soon, wow that is really nice, I am sure that you will be thinking alot about how you will get through the day and all the things that can and will happen and how you will manage these, we can start to prepare for those if you like and start to push out your bed time and instead of 7 lets do 8...I can be available to chat with you for that hour to keep you distracted and help you through that time, then we can go for 9 and so on, and get some good things in place to try to keep you calm and distracted to get you up later so when the wedding comes you are in a better place.

I had the most horrific night with my son, he popped in to collect the X box and he was going on about things and how he is struggling with his dad, he ended the conversation with a sentence that I can not write here, but it was essentially how my brother died, he said it as a throw away comment but I was soo triggered and lost it completely and was hysterical....I had to talk to him about what he said and why he said it and I understood he was trying to create impact and it was a throw away comment but HE CANNOT SAY THAT TO ME...wow..what a night.

Well off to get my oat chai now.

Chat some more soon my friend

Sarah xxx

[willdo]

Hi,

i'm so sorry about your night , i'm sure it was a throw away comment . you must have felt awful. He was probably trying to cause the most impact from his frustrations, things that hurt the most. please take care.

BTW i'm going to bed at 8.30 now i'm stretching it out each night(even 5 minutes a night is good for me). i do genuinely feel tired after 5pm (medication per doctors), i try and ride it out till 8 -8.30. my aim is 9 -9.30 by end of this month. will try a minute at a time if i have to. (this is coming from a guy who used to look at whats on TV after 10pm lol)

Take care,

William

[Aaronsis]

Thank you for your reassurance about last night, while it did take me some time to regain composure I was OK after about and hour. It was just so hard to hear those words leave his mouth, it felt like a lightening bolt through my body and I lost it....thank you for your words though.

I am so pleased to hear that you are already on your way to stretching out your bedtime, as you say, even minute by minute will help and you can do this, you are already and this is awesome. You really are so very much stronger than you think Will and I have no doubt that you are going to get through this wedding and dare I say, even have some joy and peace and fun in enjoying your son's big day. Have you got something to wear yet? Do you have to make a speech or even have someone read out something on your behalf? A very exciting day for your family.

My coffee was good and I am already looking forward to lunch, my friend bought lunch in for me today, some noodles and veg and some tofu, it looks so delish!!

xxx

[willdo]

Hi.

hope you had a better night last night.

Well Debi is on her way. still on the road to Airport. they left at 6.20am and still not there at 9.00. their flight is at 9.45 so they might miss it (same thing happened last year) . One accidents and it causes chaos on Sydney roads. on a quite weekend it takes an hour 60km away.

I woke up at 4 so i will be tired today, hopefully not too bored or much anxiety . not much to do that i can think off. the showers have started, so a lazy day on the cards.

have a great day.

William

[Aaronsis]

Hey Will

Hope Deb has an amazing time, I am off to the airport too for my night in Canberra for the Ru Paul Drag show...so excited. I will be a little quiet over the next two days but will jump on when I can.

There is a thread I have started with some amazing people if you want to jump on there, have a chat and make some new friends...here is the link:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/-you-gotta-friend-in-us-

Hope today is good for you, get that solitaire out and have a go at that....take care of you my friend.

Chat soon

Sarah

[willdo]

Hi Sarah,

hope you had a great time. i'm still asking Why?

Its raining in Sydney today and for the next few days . It was boring yesterday , not much to do and no motivation to go anywhere (no where to go really) .

Today even the old man is out (pensioners day at the RSL). i'm stuck at home alone and i hate been on my own . this became a MH issue since the fainting episode as the doctors say i need assurance that someone is home if it happens again. (another Phobia). So many of them .

Other than been very anxious my mood is OK. i slept OK (with medication).

its raining heavy at the gold coast so debi to is stuck in the hotel.

i cannot bring myself to post on the new thread, not sure why. i'll try again today.

talk soon

william

[Aaronsis]

Hey Will

Hope you are good and that you are managing with Debi away, that is really lousy that she is stuck inside but I am sure she can make it to the shops and get some shopping or something in..lol

That is great news that you posted on the new thread, I was so very proud of you for doing that, I know it wasn't easy for you so well done for pushing through that.

I have some wonderful housework ahead of me today so that is super exciting and I am sure you will be very jealous of that..lol

Hope today is a good one Will and chat some more soon.

S

[willdo]

Hi Sarah,

Glad you had a great time in Canberra . and enjoy cleaning the house.

I had the most boring couple of days .(even solitaire got a bit too much ) its been very quite and mostly home alone.

Its raining again today so cannot do much outside.

My anxiety level has been a bit high with the odd panic attack. i have to work harder by the looks of things , cannot afford to go go backwards. If i had work (employment) i know my anxiety would be much better. its so frustrating!!!.

have a great day.

William