Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[blondguy]

Hi Elizabeth

Im sorry about my post above...I was only empathising with you about your visit to the psychiatrist when I mentioned I have to see my psychiatrist in early April for therapy and a medication review (for my AD's) Since you have brought up sleeping tablets they are an excellent tool to help us help ourselves as you mentioned

I also take sleeping medication when needed so my lack of sleep doesnt exacerbate my anxiety levels

I hope that your husbands' specialists can find the best medication without the nasty side effects to aid his recovery

Croix is spot on.....You are a Star 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Elizabeth CP]

Paul you have nothing to apologise for. My reply to you was clarifying my situation & certainly not meant to imply I was upset by what you said.

Last night I realised I had no text message confirming my appointment but it was too late to ring & confirm so I went. Arrived to find the appointment was cancelled & rescheduled in 2 months which clashes with something else so I can't be seen for another 3 months!!! They said they sent me a text to reschedule but I never recieved it. I wasn't happy as it was 45 min drive each way & I need to be seen. I will run out of sleeping tablets before the next visit. I normally see him every 4 weeks but he was away in Dec & January which was actually 3 visits cancelled. I couldn't see him in Feb & now he's cancelled another 2 visits. making it over 6 months. I feel like just giving up.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth`

hopefully your GP can maintain your meds, is this the only psych possibility?

Of course they did not text, or it would still be on your phone 😞

Croix

[Ggrand]

Dear Elizabeth,

Its horrible when our appointments are cancelled and we are not told..it has happened to me on more then one occasion and I’m really sorry it’s happened to you.

Elizabeth, if you use the same chemist mostly to get your script filled for your sleepers, you could probably speak to the chemist about running out before you got a new script..Usually the chemist will ring your doctor while your their and your doctor will say yay or nay..if yes the chemist will get your meds straight away and your dr will send prescription through the mail to the chemist..I have done this a few times...I don’t know if that helps or not..just something I remembered when I read your post..and I’m just wanting to help..

Please do not give up dear Elizabeth..🤗...

Kind thoughts and warm hugs..🤗🤗.

Grandy.l

[Elizabeth CP]

I just checked & I won't be able to see the psych until July as I'm not able to attend in May or June. Appointments are scheduled every 4 weeks but if an appointment is cancelled because either he is unavailable or I am unavailable on the day no alternative appointment is available. I'm uncomfortable asking the GP for meds. I haven't spoken to her about my MH issues. The psych is away for 2 months (after being on holidays for holidays for over 2 months (3 appointments) over summer so he can't OK scripts over the phone.

I don't feel able to find another psych & go through the long process of building rapport. I don't want to be pressured into taking medication. My experience with meds has been so negative I will not try any more.

My husband came home yesterday. He is doing OK but I'm struggling with the thoughts about the future. Discussion re equipment, & medications we should have on hand in case of emergencies is scary. Of course no one can say if or when things will go wrong to such a degree that I have to save him. My mind is going in circles trying to work out what his all means & the impact on our lives.

[Guest_1055]

Hi Elizabeth, I cannot offer advice because I don’t have any. But I am listening to you.

[Elizabeth CP]

I am really struggling. I feel exhausted & struggling to think clearly or do things properly. I went for a short walk with my husband. I would normally find it very easy but felt like I was exhausted as if I was climbing a long steep mountain instead of walking on a flat footpath. I think it is just anxiety making me feel terrible. I cut myself trying to break open the vial of medication to inject my husband. I felt pressured by the nurse supervising me to make sure I was doing the injection correctly. I'm sureit was my anxiety levels which made me very clumsy & uncoordinated. I need to be able to discuss what is happening to help me sort out my thoughts & feelings. I can't talk to my husband because I don't want him to feel worse or guilty because it is not his fault. It is hard enough for him to deal with what he's been through without worrying about me.

[Guest_1055]

Oh my heart goes out to you Elizabeth. I am so very sorry you are struggling. Do you ever have a good cry? Just let out all the emotions and heaviness out that way?

Wish I could help you sort out your feelings and thoughts.

But I am still listening to you if you would like to keep writing here.

[blondguy]

Hi Elizabeth....Thankyou for your caring post above

It is the anxiety levels....that you mentioned that make us clumsy and awkward as anxiety does have a direct impact on our levels of concentration...

Do you have anyone that help you care for for your husband at the moment? .....Just so you can take a breath? (please ignore the question if its already been answered)

I hope your husbands medication is working better without the nasty side effects

my kindest

Paul

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Shell, & Paul for your caring posts.

The medication trialled in hospital which didn't help but had bad side effects have been stopped. The injections have bad side effects but do work to stop hom choking overnight. I have administered it the last 2 nights when he was at risk due to his fatigue. This gave me chance to learn what to do with the nurse supervising. We will try going without tonight to see how he goes. If that goes OK we will only use it in an emergency if he starts to choke badly or if he feeling very unwell & is at risk of choking in bed.

My real problem at the moment is emotional. Worrying about what is going to happen in the future & what impact my husband's condition will have on our life and how we need to adapt to manage the changing situation. We are unable to live in our own house because of the mould & the people who are supposed to be rectifying the damage are taking ages. This means we don't have our normal things & nothing is familiar making it impossible for my husband to find things without help due to his blindness. A carer wouldn't help in this. He is not well enough to restart his speech or physio exercises. Unfortunately I haven't found carers help much because it takes me so much effort to explain what is needed. As for family my son is the only one close to us but he is very busy.

I found out recently my middle son spent a few weeks in a psych hospital. His wife never told me. I hadn't been able to contact him while my husband was in hospital obviously because he was unwell. Don't know why I wasn't told!!!! His wife only speaks to me when she wants someone.