Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

Elizabeth CP · ‎01-12-2016

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

Elizabeth CP · ‎24-10-2020

I am feeling stressed & a bit resentful. This coming week is very busy with various appointments. I've been told by my psych that I have to do a number of things to help me because I have become quite unwell. Without following my psych's advice I'm going to end up in trouble- unable to care for my husband. I am trying to do my best although it is difficult fitting in with my husband's needs & just feeling tired all the time. That is the back ground

My Son has part time work near us. He lives in regional Vic so needs to stat with us while he is working & then returns to his home the rest of the week. I'm fine with that. He has a history of MH issues & the work is helpful. The problem I'm now expected to care for his daughter while he works because his wife is volunteering at an op shop & his MIL is going on holiday. How am I supposed to babysit while helping my husband with speech therapy appointments & having psych appointments myself. We are in lockdown so not supposed to have people visiting. How do I explain to support workers why we have extra people in the house. How do I get the chance I need to do all the things I'm supposed to do to help my mental health when I have a 5 yr old full time for 3 days. I feel resentful that my DIL just expects me to help her without any consideration of my needs particularky when we can't even go to the shops Except for food or do any of the things they can do.

Elizabeth CP · ‎21-11-2020

I have started face to face sessions again for exposure therapy. It was stopped during lockdown so I feel like I'm starting again. Unfortunately summer with hot weather & the resultant triggers is upon us. I'd hoped when I started therapy a year ago {'d be in a much better place instead of still very easily triggered and struggling because of the temptation to avoid anything potentially triggering. We went away this week for a few days. Lovely place. We did some lovely walks & I should have been just enjoying myself. Instead I felt very tense most of the time as I was having to try so hard to follow the recommendations of my therapist rather than avoiding things. My therapist is focusing on those things I've identified as problems which are negatively impacting my life. It wasn't him setting goals & tasks based on his ideas rather than my needs. To make it worse I drove to a bridge I'd heard of and looked lovely. It was! but the road passed through forest burnt in last summers fires. This was extremely difficult for me. I couldn't turn around safely so was forced to continue but by the time I arrived I was in a very bad state. I enjoyed exploring the bridge itself because I could just focus on the immediate area but driving back was still very difficult even though I know logically I was safe.

Ggrand · ‎22-11-2020

Hello Dear Elizabeth,

Im so pleased for you that you have once again been able to have face to face with your therapist and beginning exposure therapy again...I find myself personally that exposure therapy is very hard to carry out...I am doing it with my mh supporter each time we go on appointments...A few times I have had to ask her if she can please just take me home...as my anxiety gets to high at times...small steps at a time Elizabeth...

Driving through the burnt out areas from last years bush fires must have been incredible hard for you to do....you did it lovely lady on your own...yes accidentally I know, but you did it....and you came out the other end into unburnt areas...That would have been a huge piece of exposure therapy. ..I am so proud of you Elizabeth...you done well even though you were in a bad state...

I’m pleased you enjoyed the bridge, and it enabled you to ground yourself a little...

Sending you my kindest and most caring thoughts Dear Elizabeth....

Grandy..

demonblaster · ‎22-11-2020

Hi Elizabeth and everyone 👋

Sounds like you've had a fair few goings on darl.

Exposure therapy is very hard although I can see the point of it doesn't make it easier does it. Good on you I hope you manage ok and you always have here as you know.

What a shame you were tense throughout your trip. I'm glad you enjoyed the bridge though. You achieved very good mindfulness. Redirecting your mind and thoughts to the bridge isn't at all easy in the midst of anxiety. I think a good pat on the backs due dear lady ☺

I imagine through out the trip you may not have consciously been aware of taking in the beauty of where you were. I'm hoping for you that when you feel more relaxed your mind might allow nice memories of the trip.

I'm sorry hearing going through where there was fires was so hard for you. Another win to you by the sounds is that you continued and held it together enough to do so. Well done again.

Wishing you well Elizabeth. Always enjoy reading your posts to people.

See you later ⚘

Elizabeth CP · ‎24-11-2020

Thanks Grandy & DB, Sorry I haven't answered sooner, hurt my back yesterday and have been really busy but need to rest to recover so I can't answer you properly.Sory my thoughts are all lver the place.

demonblaster · ‎24-11-2020

Hi Elizabeth that's quite ok just look after your poor back. Very painful they are you poor lady.

Heat packs can be helpful to relax the muscles.

So much empathy I really hope it comes good. Take it easy darl

⚘

quirkywords · ‎25-11-2020

Elizabeth

How is your back, I hope it is improving. I cna relate to being lal over the place.

You are trying so hard but have so much to deal with.

I often read your posts but don't post. However I think about you and hope things improve even in a little way.

Elizabeth CP · ‎25-11-2020

Thanks Quirky & DB, I'm still needing to really watch my back Sitting is difficult as it makes it worse and I need meds to be able to sleep but still wake a bit as it is hard to turn over without hurting. My daughter gave me a treatment so it is better than it was.

Had a session with exposure therapist today. I I am trying to get my head around what I need to doand how to fit it in with everything else I need to do.

demonblaster · ‎27-11-2020

Hi Elizabeth and everyone ☺

I'm so glad hearing you got even a little eelief from the treatment your D gave you. Back pain is terrible. I have full understanding and it used to be same about turning in bed. We dont realise how often we do until this.

I found just recently I got a lot of relief sleeping in the recliner, surprisingly I didnt have the need to turn as often either.

Heat packs helped me a lot over the yrs and I think they're talking about hot and cold these days. The muscles tense severely which is where heat helped no end relaxing them.

You probably know about deep breathing Elizabeth that can help the overall tension both mentally and physically.

No need if you're not feeling like replying to this. Just letting you know I'm listening and care very much.

Wishing you some reprieve sooner than later

⚘

Elizabeth CP · ‎01-12-2020

So=y for late reply. Back feeling a lot better but still need to be careful. Been very tired possibly combination of the backpain and frustration re not being able to do things plus really busy. I'm struggling to follow the advice of my therapists. Keep getting overwhelmed with things needing to be done. Saturday was bad. Visited bil early afternoon which was fine. Rarely see him. Then went to my son's for grandsons birthday. Dil not in a good mood. She'd had an argument with her mother the day before. Her mother left. They live with her parents . .i spoke to her dad who was really upset about situation. My DIL. overheard and go angry with him for talking to me. The later her mum returned. Then DIL became really angry because I was talking to her mum and then started yelling and accusing me of all sorts of things before storming off. It was only after she left I had any chance to spend time with my grandkids. We then had a long drive home. I feel really bad. I want to see my grandkids but don't want to go back to their house. Unfortunately my son is rarely allowed to bring the kids here.