Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Paul & Croix,

I think the psych talked about being burnt out to help me put my negative thoughts & guilt feelings (re lack of motivation & feeling like I'm useless) into context I guess he wanted me to focus on just doing the essentials rather than beating myself up for not doing everything I should. Unfortunately not doing well with that. Last night got to bed late as I needed to pack things ready to move & then kept waking up worrying.

I went out with my son & daughter & grandkids. My son was quiet & seemed very flat. I'm unsure how he is. My daughter is also going through a stressful time & needed to vent but couldn't talk with my son present. She is needing me to babysit each week. She is 1 1/2 hrs each way from us so it is hard as We have to leave so early to get there on time. My husband struggles getting up early. I'm concerned that by agreeing to help it is enabling her husband to do things the way he wants rather than understanding how it impacts on others. I don't want to be mean & I know my daughter needs help but her husband needs to realise that his way of doing things is unsustainable.

[Elizabeth CP]

I saw my psych Tuesday. Although he couldn't fix my problems having him listen & make some suggestions to help cope was helpful. I came away planning to try a few things to help me cope. Unfortunately that quickly changed on returning home and finding my computer not working. I'm now using my old computer which is VERY unreliable & can't be charged. I won't list the rest of the issues. I had lots of information stored on my computer including plans for NDIS review, & for forthcoming trip to UK to visit my son's family & my daughter. This tipped me over the edge. I became angry with my husband when he was trying to help. I feel like there is no point in trying. My son tried to fix the computer only to conclude it needs new parts which are likely to be more expensive than a new laptop. (He is an electronics engineer & has been fixing computers since he was in primary school. ) I was phone yesterday to be told the person coming to remove the mould today was unable to come so it will be late next week before there is any chance of the final tests to see if the mould is gone. Until this is done nothing can be done to move forward with fixing the kitchen. I'm struggling to think straight. Last night I found it really hard to cook tea & then struggled to sit down to eat. Every time I tried to take a mouthful I felt driven to get up to do something else even though I knew logically my actions was irrational. I have things I need to do urgently but can't get motivated. My head is spinning. I feel guilty because it is my husband's birthday & I can't get motivated to do anything nice for him. He doesn't deserve to have such a useless wife!!!

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

>I knew logically my actions was irrational

You are absolutely right, you are in frantic overdrive and it is chewing you up. Computers are a pain, hopefully your data can be saved. Your husband is lucky to have you, you are quite birthday present enough.

See about modest paid help to do a bit of cooking short term and cleaning -no not to your standards but you will be able to go outside or sit in another room and work on your relaxation - Something like Anglicare could probably advise you where to get someone.

This may seem an unsatisfactory solution in many ways, if you become so ill you cannot do all the thing you do now that is an unsatisfactory solution too -and we care about your wellbeing

Croix

[Guest_1055]

Hi all,

Oh Elizabeth you sound like you are struggling big time. Weighed down with everything. Wish I could help you more.

But hey, if you do not mind me saying so. I think you are believing lies. The lie that says you are useless. Because if you really look at it logically you are far from it. I think once we start to believe it, we then start to feel it. I think we have to catch these thoughts and then see if there is any truth in it. If not (and in your case, it simply is not true) ditch it. One only needs to read in this thread of yours and the truth pops out. You are not useless at all.

Please don't feel discouraged.

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix & shell. Unfortunately I can't even book anyone to come & help because of the situation with the house. We are still waiting for the mould removalists to finish & declare the place safe. I have no kitchen sink or bench app none would be able to help.

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I am overwhelmed trying to cope. Things I normally enjoy are not possible at the moment. Still no progress re house/kitchen Rang insurance company today& told they're waiting for reports before they can send the next person. Then will need someone to come & do a new scope of works as lots of extra work needs doing because the mould spread due to delays. Computer isn't worth fixing so need to work out what to do. At the back of my mind is the constant fear of another episode with my husband's health & the need to be trying to minimise the risks while allowing him to enjoy life. This has left me feeling really stressed & anxious but I can;t even find a way to have a break without more stress organising it.

[Guest_1055]

You do sound stressed Elizabeth. I even started to feel a bit stressed as I was reading your words.

I am not sure if anything I said would help. But I can tell you some things that work for me when I feel stressed.

I just cry, let all the emotions go.

I will write a list of everything going around in my head.

I will attempt to focus on one thing at a time on my list. Start with the most important or pressing thing first.

I will pray

I need to say no to some people or no to some things in my life

I will meditate on God's word. "Let not my heart be troubled, and Lord I trust in You"

I go for a walk

Watch a good feel movie

Try to eat lots of veggies. No sugar

Go for a drive in the country where its nice and quite

Go to the pet shop and look and look at the coloured fish swimming around

Some times I have waited too long to do all or any of the above. And then everything turns into one muddled up snowball. My thoughts get mixed up, cannot think clearly, I see issues larger then what they really are, I am not a pleasant person to be around, I would feel weighed down (think... giant snowball racing down a hill and wiping me out or sitting on top of me)

And I am not sure how much you tell your hubby or other family members what you are feeling. But I wonder if you should say more.

[Doolhof]

Hi Shelley, Elizabeth, Croix and All Reading,

Shelley I really like the list you wrote, including going to a pet shop to see the fish. I'm not sure where our closest pet shop is, but when I am near one, I too like to see the fish and also want to buy all the kittens to take home with me! I wonder if my husband would notice!

Elizabeth your frustration with the situation with your kitchen is understandable. Waiting for everything to be returned to normal must be tedious for you. Are there some little things you can do to make it easier for your to deal with things?

I am not in your shoes Elizabeth, nor are your family members and friends, so it may be hard for them to know what it is like to live in your shoes 24/7.

Can you make time to do any of the things on Shelley's list?

Thinking of you!

Cheers from Dools

[Guest_2496]

Hi Elizabeth

Excuse me jumping in here late but I saw you mentioned your thread in another section.

I know when I'm completely overwhelmed everything seems too difficult so I don't know if you'll be able to do what I can suggest. AND I don't know if it's financially possible for you, or if there's somewhere near you to help of course.

When I've had laptops give up I took it to a repair shop and while they couldn't repair it (or as your son said the parts would cost more than it's worth) what they did do was to take out the hard drive (I think I have the term right! all the memory anyway) and put that in a small separate case and THEN with a usb type cord it could be connected to another computer, say the one you're now using, and you'll still be able to access all that info NDIS info etc.

I'd also like Someone to advocate for you. I don't know how old your son is or if he can do it but to ring the insurance co again and just tell them it's just not acceptable to keep you waiting another day longer. With the health issues of your husband etcetc you need your kitchen back!

[Ggrand]

Hello Elizabeth...

Im sorry that your so overwhelmed...The kitchen has taken some time to get sorted out...and I could imagine that it would be terribly hard for you to be constantly concern about it getting finished...

I also like Shelly’s list of distraction tools..please try as hard as you can to distract yourself when you feel so overwhelmed.li know it’s hard to do...but we just cannot ever give up trying to...

I read elsewhere your thinking of giving up on your thread..please don’t..and please never give up on you...

Elizabeth...keep trying to tell yourself thatthe mound will be removed and you’ll be back into your normal routine..I do hope it’s soon though....

Elizabeth...It’s important to care for yourself as well as the wonderful amazing job you’re doing caring for your husband...and your son and his family...Take some time out for yourself..if you have to many chores to do each day..please put some off for another day and try to sit outside in the sunshine or do something you like to give yourself some care...

Thinking of you Elizabeth.l

Kind and caring thoughts..💜🌷..

Grandy..