Hi Quirky,
Wish I knew too!
I've had one such just recently, about a support co-ordinator. Their email was so poorly written, I felt no confidence in them. After I met him, I feel better.
I've made some horrible decisions in my life. Fortunately, not dire.
I managed to get myself out of those situations, somehow. That's reassuring, now, to know I have been able to make the decisions that got me out & into a safer place.
The really good decisions I've made have not been quick. I am aware there is a process going on, sometimes it seems in the background of my mind, sometimes I am consciously reasoning my way to a decision. I might list 'pros' & 'cons'.
Also, now, I am thinking more about what is in my best interest. I have got to be clear on that, because I've neglected my needs for so long.
If I had kids in my care, I'd still have to think of me, because if I don't care for myself, how can I care for them?
I think there are times when what's in the best interest of a child must come first. I may suffer as a result of making a decision which is best for a child. I accept that, without reservation.
Because I don't have kids, I can't say at what age a child is no longer a child in my eyes, & when they are to understand they are responsible for their own decisions.
I still have to learn what I'm responsible for, as opposed to what another adult is responsible for. My decisions don't have to accomodate their needs - just mine.
We can only make decision based on the information we have. If you can ask lots of questions & gather more info you can make better decisions.
Since I can't become an expert in everything, I hope I can find someone who is, & ask them my questions. This is mostly about what things I want to buy, like deciding which Elliptical Cross Trainer to get, or a new computer system & accessories to go with it. This could easily apply to other purchases, of services, for example.
Now, decisions about interpersonal relationships - I'm not on firm ground here at all. I only know I've worked out what some of the "absolutely no you don't" boundaries, & then no real decision needs be made, because I know then, I'm out of there asap! & no going back, either.
I'm thinking, if I have to 'tolerate' something, because 'they are so good most of the time', is that really in my best interest?
Want more?
mmMekitty
