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DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

Doolhof
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

776 Replies 776

Dear precious Chloe,

HI. I had the computer turned off and only found your message this morning. I hope you managed okay last night. I don't have a smart phone so if I am not connected to the computer I have no idea what is going on anywhere in the world it seems.

I remember as a teenager, we had to leave the house, walk down the street and use the phone box. Our town was still very behind the times. We actually still needed someone in the post office to connect us tot he person we wanted to talk to. As we looked through the Post Office window, we could see the lady pulling the cables out and hooking them in to the panel to be connected.

When we had finished our calls, we always said goodbye tot he telephonist! We did have a phone at home and our phone number was 2 digits long! Now I am expected to remember a mobile phone number! I don't think so. Ha. Ha.

None of this is probably helping you Chloe! It does give you an idea of roughly how old I am...102! Ha. Ha.

I'm trying to keep busy and positive before I set off for my trip to visit my parents.

Wishing you a better day today Chloe, and hope you can catch up with your friend.

Cheers from Dools

The stories that lady must have heard after all those years being our telephonist! Ha. Ha. It was amazing when the new public phones came in and you could just dial the number you wanted!

Doolhof
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Karen,

Yes I will work on making some new happy memories while with family and in my old home town.

Last week I would have been right to pack bathers and a beach towel, this week I will be needing a rain coat and long trousers! Ha. Ha. I have decided to pack for all weather conditions! Ha. Ha.

Yesterday I was reading sections in a self help book. Some of it I am going to try to put into practice. The book mentioned:

Acquiring Acceptance of thoughts, emotions and feelings so they do not seem so unacceptable. To learn how to stop punishing and pummelling myself when I feel like I should be able to control the unhelpful and the negative.

To be more aware of the OBSERVANT MIND, which they explained means to basically stick tot he facts and don't allow your mind to make up a story about what is happening around you.

To be aware of our CRITICAL MIND that judges and finds the lousy in everything it can.

To learn to reduce the stranglehold feelings have on me and allow myself to just accept what is happening rather than making it worse by trying to control my feelings.

Sometimes I find these theories very interesting, yet difficult to put into place!

Cheers all from Dools, catch up with you all again next week!


Chloe_M
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Dools,

im a bit better today, although last night was pretty tough, you can read about it in my thread "advice for seeking professional help- TW sexual abuse self harm and suicidal thoughts" (or something like that)

no I didn't see my best friend today, however ran into his sister at the shops. Hung with her for a bit she's only a year younger and loves me lol.

thanks for your help, the story about the telephones was interesting lol. It might be worth reading my thread, is kinda distressing but you'll get a better idea of what I'm dealing with and my background.

hope you have a peaceful night,

Chloe 🙂

Jessbph
Community Member
Hmmmm. Good question! I believe depression is part of me. Like the 2 voices in my head. Ive named my depression and I hear and notice when hes talking. Lately, most days hes the loudest. I feel he's darkening the light more and more lately. It took a long time to 'accept' him, but now I've accepted him, It stopped the fight and started the balancing dance.
Experiencing depression has given me the passion to want to help others. I love to learn about it, talk about it, and notice it. When I look at my future, depression is there. The bright side of me just hopes its there in a controlled manner and doesn't disable me. Depression gives me an understanding for others.

I agree that fighting it can help it grow, but so can embracing it really. Accepting it has made it grow for me, but sweeping it under the rug doesn't work for many others either. Solution- I've got nothing! haha

Chloe_M
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Jessbph,

wow you've just given me a whole new perspective on depression. Thank you!

i think my depression is a part of me. But that doesn't mean it defines me.

I wouldn't say I have 2 voices in my head... More like 1 that, when triggered, goes super sad and depressed. I've accepted my depression too, along with my anxiety, so it doesnt freak me out and when I am depressed, I know that it's kinda normal (for me).

I am the same as you. I am passionate about helping people so I am on here 2-3 times a day, checking the new threads and my threads for new posts.

So... Fight or embrace?

i feel like I wouldn't have the strength to fight my depression after being triggered. But if I felt it coming on, maybe listen to some happy music or exercise or eat or do something that makes you happy. It's worked before.

embracing I think could go 2 ways:

  1. It helps you recognise the depression which makes it easier for you to fight it
  2. adds fuel to the fire by nurturing it with self pity, and thoughts like 'oh this is normal don't worry this is me'

so yeah just like you, my solution = nothing!

but I think a mixture of fighting and embracing would be the best option 😄

chloe x

Hi all,

The answers here are very beneficial to many readers I'm sure.

To fight depression or embrace it? There is a sweet spot, to accept it. Certainly not fight it. Certainly not embrace it too much.

Stephen Fry once said "if I came back from reincarnation how would life be? well, I would want my bipolar to be there as it is such a part of me"

So true, sort of. I can recall as a young man although my mania was max between 19-40yo I can recall quiet moments of no mania, no sadness etc. Seemed my childhood trauma went missing for a time. It was bliss, how calm and a mirage it was stable forever.

What I do try to do daily is to get on with life ignoring my depression. This allows most of my life to be led normally. But, I have had to erect that "fortress of survival" that I developed.

Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue

I am the gatekeeper, the comforter, the survivor of my fate inside that fort. Only I can operate that gate. My loving wife is inside my fort. We sooth each others wounds. My sister, my nieces etc are there to. But when someone comes knocking, I mentally have a procedure they must endure and pass before I open that gate. My challenge is always to make it harder for that process to work. I'm constantly turfing others into the moat!

Tony WK

PamelaR
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Dools

Just wondering how you're travelling after your time away, i.e. whether you are fighting or embracing depression at the moment.

You know, this is a really good thread. My last session with my psych touched on - using energy/activity to break the cycle. We talked about how active I've been that's led to the reduction in my depression. So in my muddled mind I'm trying to connect up everything you've and others have added to this thread, plus this new piece of information. So what have I come up with -

Ok, so depression is here. Fighting or embracing it are ways to manage it, however, if I ignore or accept it and 'BE ACTIVE'. Then the more active I'll be and the less depressed I'll be.

How's that sounding??

PamelaR

Hi PamelaR and All,

Yes, I am back again. While away I tried to use various strategies to help me cope. After only 2 days I was wanting to pack my bags and come home again. I had a discussion with myself and decided that if I allowed that to happen, I would not have really achieved much and I would have allowed my thoughts to take over reality.

The reality being that I was allowing my thoughts and emotions to dictate how I perceived what was happening around me. I had options. Look at happenings in an unhelpful manner or just accept it all as it was, just happenings.

I agree that BEING ACTIVE helps immensely with depression, I also realise that there are times when the depression is just so over powering I have to let it be. If I can not be active at that time that is okay, I will try later.

I have realised there are different periods in my day when my depression is worse and if I don't do anything about it, it escalates. That is certainly when the BEING ACTIVE is beneficial.

Thanks for sharing this insight with us all PamelaR. That is why this forum is so wonderful, we all have the opportunity to learn and to share if we so desire to do so.

Another thing for me is realising I CAN CHANGE how I think and react to my depression! I just need to connect to ideas that work for me and be open to trying them.

Cheers all from Dools

Chloe_M
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

hey Dools,

Good to see you again 🙂 I'm glad that you stuck it out even though you wanted to go home.

don't have long so will stop by later.

chloe

Hi Chloe,

Great of you to drop in!

Sometimes we just need to stick it out a bit longer, realise it is our depressed mines telling us unhelpful stories and try a different tactic to see what helps.

Hope you are doing okay!

Cheers from Dools