DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[demonblaster]

Healing hugs thoughts warmth and care always dear Doolsy.

Good to know a reason. I remember the last time with meds.

Don't believe beasties lies. You're better than that.

🤗☺⚘🌱

[Doolhof]

Hi DB and all,

I need to take your suggestion to heart DB to not believe the lies or incorrect thoughts that are going on in my head.

My husband has gone on another overseas holiday with his mates, leaving me home to look after the cat and the house. I have found this really hard to deal with.

My mind is so conflicted. I love him and yet I hate him at the same time. Part of me wants to leave, but I have no where to go.

Before he left, he told me it was a good thing he was getting home at a reasonable time so I could do his washing for him as he is taking all of his underwear on holidays with him! I asked him what made him think I would want to be doing his washing straight away after the long drive to the airport and back.

The job agency people keep changing the rules on me. That is doing my head in as I am allowing it to!

Someone whom I thought was there to help me isn't.

I need to find the strength to help myself more. I am trying to add more pleasurable things to my life.

Yesterday I brought my paints out and have them on the kitchen table. I tried a couple of different painting styles I saw on You Tube. One didn't work so well so I need to go back and look at the instructions again.

Now that my husband has gone, that stress and anxiety of him leaving has eased a little. He is gone and there is nothing I can do about it.

I can waste my days crying or try and be a little more positive.

The effects of the medication induced deep depression is easing off as well thankfully. I think that just triggered past depression episodes.

Anyway, off to the Op Shop today and the Employment agency. See what they have in store for me this week. I will try to hold my head high while I am in their office.

Hope you are doing okay DB and All reading,

Cheers from Dools

[demonblaster]

Dear Doolsy 🤗 hi everyone ☺

I've always felt for you living where you're not happy and the extremely poor services. Your physical pain I quite often think how you're going actually and yes/no happy in your marriage.

I think you are incredibly strong, it takes a lot of courage to keep pushing through with mental anguish especially in your circumstances and terribly hard life dealings.

[IT's] xx like vice depression isn't it especially when it's deep it feels like we're completely consumed with a Black or dark blanket around our head.

I think the way to lift it and let light in hun is exactly what you're talking about doing some more positive things.

Probs said before but what helps me a lot is reiterating to myself this isn't permanent it'll pass.
Also I say I don't want to feel this way because if we keep in mind it's our own thoughts and our reactions to them.
Not sure what causes the feeling maybe lack of energy takes us to our vulnerable times of deep pain.

Depression uses a lot of energy so it's still there surprisingly in exhaustion.
If we can use it for good memories. Thoughts of what we want to achieve and of people we love and what we enjoy doing.
Even one thought is a break from pain and allows a touch of light.

Could you stay with your sister darl for a while.
If you moved on I imagine somewhere amongst nature would suit you and rents cheaper usually in rural areas or near a beach.

A few pleasants if you can try to remember how you felt in these times lovely brave lady 🤗

• Feeding your cute lambs
• Trees
• Birdies singing
• Driftwood
• Craft
• Painting
• Flowers
• Time in the garden
• Being company for the elderly
• Conversing with that lonely lady
• Chatting to people at the op shop
• Laughing with people
• Kittens
• Time with your loving sister
• Beach shells freedom peace
• People that care and love you like us.

You matter to many Doolsy. You're a really lovely compassionate kind fun lady you deserve a good life. It's in us hun.

Often thoughts.

Sitting with you and our friends in the garden setting with pretty flowers in bloom amongst trees.

Hold in there lovey we're with you 🤝😊💗

[Doolhof]

Dear precious DB,

Thanks so much. I will try to take your suggestions to heart.

Right now it hurts like crazy. I don't want to do this anymore.

I need to remind myself things can change.

Right now the tears are falling. Guess they are healing.

My sister is away for a few days and my other sister is visiting next week. The second sister has her own mental health issues so it could be an interesting visit.

More tears. I've got to go.

Cheers from Dools.

[Doolhof]

It seems my husband can send out Facebook Messages to his mates but not to his wife!

At least I know he is still alive I guess!

[quirkywords]

Mrs Dools,

Sorry you are in a teary place unless the tears help in some way.

I have no words of wisdom but I do believe and hope things change and for the better.

I used to find out when my children had arrived overseas because of what they said on someone else FB page!

I am thinking of you.

Quirky

[demonblaster]

Our Dear Doolsy ⚘ Hi lovely people 😊

First up hun feel this and anyone that needs a good hug and I do mean good.
The energy you feel is giving you warmth comfort love and healing.

Every time you remember take one ☺
Feel it ... breath with it ....nice and slowly... calmly and deep... focusing ONLY on this Doolsy love.
Hold for a couple then slowly out feeling your pain leaving your body.

In with flowers out with pain.

How terribly hurtful on fb and some of the ways you're treated. My heart really goes out to you

Holding your hand good lady so is everyone here because you're never alone

I think too crying is release.
It could be the beginning of healing what a good way of looking at it.

I hope your visit from your sister no: 2 gives you an opportunity to open up and let the pain out.
Her having mh too hopefully she'll understand and be a comfort to you dear Dools. Ahh darlin 💗 it's just not bloody fair is it.

I know lovey it's so damned hard and you're SO sick of it and don't want it anymore 🤗 It's like that but only temporarily

Lovelyheart this is the times to draw on your deepest strength... it's there.

If we tap into our energy that goes into the pain... we can gain strength to lift out by using the pain hurt and anger as a force

Believe in yourself sweet I know you can rise.

Also darl the best thing you can do from experience is NOT allow thoughts of giving up...the depressed mind follows that pattern.

You need every chance at keeping the paths open to healing

Don't let this or any body beat you!

You deserve happiness and peace. You're such a beautiful person.

While you breath and your heart beats there's hope for better.

Stay with us beautiful lady. You're so loved and appreciated.

Always here for you 🤗⚘🍃🌿

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

I'm having trouble finding the stop button for my thoughts and depression!

Don't seem to have any problems with the stop button for trying to do enjoyable and productive things. That seems to be on hold or stuck on stop for the moment.

Knowing what helps and actually putting those things into motion is not always easy.

How do others push yourselves when you are feeling stuck?

Cheers all from Dools

[Ggrand]

Dear Mrs Dool🌷...

It is hard to find our tools and put them to good use for us..

Beasty..has been..yelling...screaming at me now for a while and I’m finding it hard to stop it..

A few days ago I tried to get into a fantasy world and posted it here..it gave me a few hours break from my negatives...but they came back again....persistent bugger is depressive thoughts....Are you able to take your mind away with writing out a fantasy story...

I didn’t want to work today...because of bursts of tears...I wasn’t going to go until my GP rang me and told me she needed to see me about some recent tests....I dragged myself out to see her....then decided to go to my volunteer day at the op shop....That helped while I was there..back home again the thoughts began again....but not as constant...Maybe a day out with some friends...especially a chatty friend to keep your mind busy....

At home it’s hard...I know I should be doing things to help me...Pushing ourselves to do the things we know will help us..has to be a big want for us....

Mrs Dools....Do you like taking photos...When the birds come down to eat the seed I put out for them...they are so funny at times...and at times I have started to take a photo but instead sometimes when the are comical I will take a small video on my phone....Then I look back to them at times..to help get me out of my thoughts...

I don’t know what to say to you lovely lady that might help you even a little....What I do want to say is your important, very much loved and cared for here....I hang onto BB..and beautiful amazing people like you dear friend.....Please don’t give up...trying...it makes the downer worse...Anything that gives your mind a break from beasty pestering you is a step forward...whether it’s reading, watching nature..scrapbooking, listening to music...and singing along with it...watching the puffiness of the clouds, and imagine that they are holding you up..if you close your eyes and visualise yourself floating on them..feel yourself gently moving forward while your mind takes a rest with them....

I probably haven’t helped you precious lady...but I read your post and my heart hurt for you...your one of the most inspirational people I’ve ever had the honour to get to know, so I needed to try...

Big hugs 🤗..Mrs Dools...sent with my love..💖 and care 🕊...

Grandy...

[quirkywords]

Mrs dools,

this sentence is so true.

“Knowing what helps and actually putting those things into motion is not always easy.”

i find it easier to advise others but when I lack motivation I lack energy and even making a small effort is hard.

I often start things when I am stuck and I often don’t finish but I do start.

So my place if full of things started but not finished.

I wish I had a pause button for my thoughts.

Grandy I like the way you always rot to help other people on the forum

Quirky