Challenging unhelpful thoughts

[Doolhof]

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

[Guest_1055]

Oh Mrs D, I was wondering where you were..... I am really sorry you are in this at the moment. It sucks and I long to jump and stamp on all these feelings you are experiencing right this minute. Am I understanding you correctly?? Are are feeling angry? If so .....can you shout it out or punch and punch on your pillow? I will even do it on your behalf, because I cannot stand the thought of you struggling so or hurting.

Shell xx

[Lonelydan]

Hi mrs,D. I'm feeling sad knowing how you're going. your message to me when I Lost my friend meant so much to me to know that someone cared to respond to a stranger. So know I want you to know that I'm thinking about you I care about you this world needs women like you in it. You are loved and appreciated by so many on here I just wanted you to know that. Lonelydan...

[White_Rose]

Oh my poor dear. I hadn't realised you were in so much pain. I wish I had known earlier. I did know you were unwell but not to this extent.

Unhelpful thoughts indeed. I would like to push their unhelpful thoughts down their throats. Is this on a par with 'think positively'? I had this from one person who thought she was being so helpful. Does no one realise that if that was all we needed to do there would be no depression in the world. Stupid, insensitive, thoughtless 'People'. Please feel free to add your own noun.

So go and eat all the Tim Tams, mud cake and Mars bars you want. Not long ago I ate half a box of ice cream because I was so frustrated. Then I ate the other half a couple of days later. I did feel sick afterwards. Can you find another daisy bush to destroy?

Giving up is a seductive option, so many of us have been there. We know it's not right but then knowing what's right and doing it can be two different things. So please hold on my dear. The world would be so much poorer without you. I know next Friday feels as though it may as well be next year but it will come and I so much hope this person has some answers and help for you.

It's only in this sort of crisis that we realise how much rural Australia misses out on all kinds of services. I wish I could be with you and comfort you. Please talk to me.

Mary

[Guest_322]

Oh Mrs D.,

Yes, let's call a spade a spade. No sugar coating with phrases like "unhelpful thoughts."

If you feel horrible, you feel horrible. If you're absolutely shattered, you're absolutely shattered. If you feel like completely and utterly exhausted, you feel completely and utterly exhausted. Sometimes life just throws bricks at you and you have to duck. It's tough.

That hospital does sound very ill equiped to help anyone with MH struggles. What a disappointing, demeaning experience you had there.

I love the feisty attitude to keep fighting despite the siren call to give in. You can do this.

I'm with Mary on the whole inhaling chocolate in all its glorious variations or destroying a daisy bush. Scream into a pillow, tear up paper and junk mail, turn up the music, stomp around the house, paint your furniture red- do what you need to do to get through this. You got this. You can fight this.

Dottie xxx

[gld]

Hi Doolhof,

You are going through a challenging time at present and it is great to read that you are accessing supports with helplines, hospital, psychologist and here. In your post you say you are putting up a fight by giving yourself things to do other than letting the depression take all the control in your day to day. Keep up the good fight.

Words/ terms are not going to mean the same for everyone and it is ok to express your feelings as well as your emotions. Depression has got the power to lower our energy levels and it is important for us to acknowledge it so we gain the upper hand. It is a beast that lays low and shows its head from time to time which has no timeline to lay low again, so i hold onto hope that moving forward has the power to improve each day.

I feel concerned that things could be becoming overwhelming for you so keep on looking after yourself by gaining the supports you need.

Gen

[Doolhof]

HI Everyone,

Thanks for your responses.

I really do feel like I am struggling to hold on, that I am going under with little strength left to even float for a while. The feeling of being totally overwhelmed is growing immense.

Putting one foot in front of the other is struggle.

The fantastic thing is that, just by reading the replies I have received here from fellow friends on the journey of mental health hassles, I have felt the most support, care and understanding from anyone I have encountered these last three weeks.

People have asked me to promise I will not do anything drastic. I want the pain to stop, but not that badly.

People keep telling me this won't last forever. I've told other people the same thing.

I called the Rural Mental Health people again. They suggested I return to the hospital...

I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall and screaming out for help but no one in mental health in our region gives a shit. Hopefully the psychologist next week will be helpful;.

I need to make it to next week.

This sure is a crap post hey !

So what are you all planning to do over the next couple of days? Anyone have suggestions for some comedy movies to watch or funny clips on the web? I could do with a laugh.

Cheers all from Mrs. D

[blondguy]

Dear Mrs Dools

You have never written a crap post on here including this one.

You have provided so much quality care to so many including me too (and thankyou)

Please dont 'fight' this awful depression right now.....fighting these feelings will only increase them

Make the depression weak...'accept' and 'go with it'...please

Here for you

Paulxo

[Just Sara]

Dear Mrs D;

I'm very concerned for your MH and well being in general. I know people have tried to help with avoidance tactics, but in my experience, I would urge you to call the Mental Health Hotline again.

Please also go to the hospital or call an ambulance. Even if you thought they didn't handle it too well before, it's better to have guidance and observation from qualified people at this stage of your process than to try and cope on your own.

I've left a msg for you on ProBoards. Please look me up ok?! I can help.

Take any medication suitable to calm your mind until help arrives. The sugar in sweets/chocolate may increase confusion and down moods once they wear off. Good quality 'real' food with (slow working) carbohydrates and a little protein will work better for sleep and the long term.

Be kind and gentle with yourself, even if it hurts like hell.

Sara xo

[white knight]

Hi Mrs Dools

Sometimes, we lose track of the very theories we ourselves promote...thats an indication of the severity of the depression.

So, we must allow the deptession to move around its cycle as Paul suggested, before we can move forward.

Faith. Faith that you will be ok, that your psin will subside and you'll be alright.

Calm. Dedpetation is your enemy. Relax.

We all love you.

Tony WK