Are we kidding ourselves that things really can get better

[Guest_5809]

I have been in this vicious cycle for so long now and nothing gets better. I am battle fatigued. Truely just numb. Single parent to 2 teens with mental health issues and a narcissistic ex ( kids father). I have experienced my ex attempt suicide, my youngest who was 10 yo at the time attempt suicide and my now 14yo attempt suicide 4 times. I live an emotional roller coaster that I vant keep up wth unless I self medicate. I have 2 inpatient admissions in 7 months cause I just can't see any light left. We exist not live. I am totally lost. We have support services in place but nothing changes . I don't know how other people seem to cope and I can't. I don't know what's wrong with my brain. I feel damaged and broken. I don't want pity and I know there are lots doing it harder than I am. I want to know how to survive this or is it possible t survive ths? And please don't advise me to self care. I truely have little or know time to myself to address my own needs as my chidrens needs are high plus I work to pay bills. Sorry to sound grumpy and selfish. I am just lost and feeling hopeless.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

[Doolhof]

Dear Dotti,

Would you like a cyber hug and a shoulder to cry on? Sometimes releasing those tears and all the pent up emotions can be very healing.

Does it help you to write down and share how you are feeling when life is so tough?

Is it possible for you to share with us just one thing each day that you are thankful or appreciative for? It helps me at the end of a day or even during a day to be thankful for my blessings.

Do you read Dotti? Like Croix mentioned it can be so very beneficial to escape reality for a while and read, venturing into a different place.

ending you hugs if you'd like them Dotti.

From Dools

[Guest_5809]

I hate day dreaming about a beautiful life cause I can’t have that. I haven’t had it for so long. It makes me think about what I am missing out on. How much I hate myself and my existence.

15 yo had court again for fv breaching his IVO etc and they want to send him for another diversion program. How can this be? Psychs, child protection and police can’t manage him but hey suck it up mumma and you handle him. I just think why I am taking meds to keep me sane when I am not and I am surrounded by insanity and chaos. I am over meds. Over it over it!!

[Guest_5809]

I hate me. I overweight ugly and a loser. I struggle to do anything. What the hell is wrong with me. I am frightened if people I am frightened of living. I am so over this.

[startingnew]

hi Dotti, its been a while since your last post. things are sounding really rough and your son doesnt seem to be helping the matter either. i dont have any experience in this area so cant give advice however i can listen to what you have to say.

there is nothing wrong with you at all, you are struggling because of all the life crap that is being thrown your way. sending some extra strength and courage to keep pushing through. you have the whole forums here giving you a helping hand xoxoxox

[Guest_5809]

Just don’t know anyway out anymore sn. I really appreciate your support though. 😊

[startingnew]

i understand that Dotti, ive been following along with you for quite a while. your family isnt making things easy for you thats for sure. im always here to talk to as well, i stepped back before but followed along. im so glad some other knowledgeable members stepped in too. your doing the best you can under the circumstances, try not to be too hard on yourself xoxox

[Lisamarieod]

Oh no. That's just horrible. What you must be going through is beyond words. My heart goes out to you 💗

But Don't Die. Not yet. It's not your fault but it's not your time either. Stay strong 😚 ok

[geoff]

Hello Guest_5809, I just wonder if you are still checking your thread because we would really like to know how you are going.

Geoff.

Life Member.