Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws, Moonstruck, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone…

Thank you so much for your posts…I did reply yesterday to wish everyone reading here a Merry Christmas…with my internet going off and on all the time it didn’t get delivered…this internet problem has been ongoing now for around 12 months and it’s so frustration…..

My son turned up alone, daughter in law and grandson changed there mind at the last minute…which was and is very disappointing for me…but I suppose Karma got me because of my anxiety of feeling like not looking forward to seeing them…which now they didn’t come I am sad….but I am grateful my son came down and we are doing a few repairs to my home…..well he is……, I’m just a spectator, wish so much I that I could be physically healthy to help him….doesn’t matter how old our children get, we still don’t like to see them do physically hard work…He is going back home tomorrow afternoon.🥲…

I do hope everyone is doing both mentally and physically well….

Lots of love, hugs and care to everyone…🩷🤗🌈🌹.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hey sweet Grandy 💏 and everyone ✋

Darling lady I was feeling a bit ugh because I'd posted to you a a couple of days I think before Xmas and realized I'd forgotten to wish you and all a Merry Xmas. Yikes 😮 just checked back and realised I hadn't even sent it. Roight. On the positive side maybe I can improve on it. Deendy and I worked on some of it together. 
Geez darlin I hope you didn't wonder where I was or worry. It's tucked away in notes so soon I"ll touch it up which was why I originally put it there and post it. 

Although I"m sorry you felt sad not seeing the rest of the family hun esp when you were planning on them coming I do love you've had quality time with your dear son. 
Sounds great getting some home jobs done. I know how you feel with the physical side of things, I do on occasion ask. Its's another part of our lives coming to terms with not being able to do things isn't it. Another part of our independence that we lose along the way esp if we're as I know you too for sure are the people that like to pull our weight. 
On the other side as you'd no doubt often have experienced, it's satisfying and a good thing helping others. I would imagine your dear son would have felt that esp for you dear lady 🤗 It's easy to do things for someone that's so lovely and grateful. 

So here's a belated Merry Xmas to all the dear people here including you bbff 💜 I do hope your Xmas was a nice one and feel for and understand for those who have sadness esp at this time. 
I love the good cheer and pretties about Xmas. SO many people may not say Happy Xmas etc and New year to someone else. It's really nice people connecting even in small ways. 

Grandy and other lovely people we've met along our meaningful journey including lovely BB staff thank you always for being you and for the amazing support that speaks volumes.

Love always Grandy 💗💚🐉 - Deendy and I'll BE BACK soon. Really am sorry lovey. Nearly got it posted struth how the memory goes with 🙃 and tiredness. Ha will always love our emoji fun. Our Croixy comes to mind not being a fan but I know it's hard with eyesight dear man is why I try at least at times to explain what it is. 

Pawsy it might be in the new yr darl that I pop in for a cuppa to yours and Croixy man, know you're both in my heart as well 💗

Peace 🕊 wished for all 🤗🌞🐣

[demonblaster]

Heya lovely ‌‌‌wishing you and family a great new year for everyone too ‌‌ 

I dearly hope you're feeling a lot if not at least a little lighter than you have been hun. Poor soul ‌‌ 
Always heart thoughts and concern Grandy 🤗

Our lovely Dendy ‌‌came this morning very early... joy... to pick up your ‌‌ gift

Knowing how fast she travels ...vroooom...‌‌putt putt cough..uh oh she had to use the 3 wheeler bike ‌‌🚜 cause the go go mobeal packed a sad but her mighty wings remain in tact.

This land trip is to a far farrr away secret place deep in the Amazon forest that's bursting with Tulips amidst moss covered branches lays soo peacefully Grandfathers beard displaying just enough Silver glitter throughout hanging off tree branches without trunks.

The Snapdragons (Deendys family) in certain lights can be seen opening their mouths revealing tranquil...glitter holograms (Glittergrams being the technical term ‌‌🎓) A pop up menu allows you to pick your colours.
I love the deep Red/Crimson & the Violet ones look spectacular with the deep yolk Yellow around the lacey floppy edges which took me a little longer to sew on. 3 seconds of my life not wasted though thankfully.
Grandy you'll love them cause a mighty gigantisaurus ‌‌ 🌈 appears around the flowers creating a feeling of peace & belonging.

How lucky we are to have colour in our lives. It'd be pretty bland if everything was just one or none at all.

Deendy was sure to include your fave coloured ones that I grew 1.38 minutes ago.

The glittergrams are all in one single perfect flower. Half has shades of Purple while different Greens spiralling up and out on the other side. Bang In the centre sits a sparkly Golden 3D 💛 just like yours.

To help you sleep & enjoy beautiful dreams be sure lovey to find & feel the serenity from the White dove ‌‌🕊 resting peacefully in the middle. It glows in the dark emitting peace love & happiness for the rest of your life dear friend.

Endless love and appreciation knowing you darlin 💏

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone…..🤗..

Thank you Deebi, I’m feeling mentally better then I have been for a few months and physically as well…not working for the past few months seems to easing off the aches and pains of old age…

I loved reading about our beautiful Deendy 🐉…we have had some great adventures with her, haven’t we….I think the Amazon is a first time destination…my type of place, trees, rivers, birds little creatures scurrying around the forest everywhere…

After reading your post, I went back into my fantasy world…( I forget the name my psychiatrist called it)…I imagined myself sitting with you one Deendy back, no helmets or seat belts…. peacefully flying through the air with our hair blowing with the gentle breeze caused my Deendy’s wings….I forgot how much I miss my fantasy world….anything is possible with an imagination that I can physically feel….

Glittergrams, now they sound beautiful, I like glitter very much especially with shades of purple, Snap Dragons, I remember playing with them as a child..if you gently squeezed them in the right spot…it looked like they opened their mouth….I haven’t seen them for years and years….not much grows out here..it’s to hot and dry….Im not one for wasting water watering 

[Ggrand]

Oh no….silly me I accidentally pressed post 😂😂😂…feel a bit useless doing that…..

anyway water can get very scarce during drought times…which we get very often..

Oh I lost my line of thinking now…fantasy zapped away by that post button….

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying their days the best you can…

Sending my love, hugs and care to everyone…🩷🤗🌹🌈..

Grandy…