Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Fiatlux]

Hi everyone and Gloomy Sunday 🤧

I have definitely come down with a bad cold, possibly flu or even COVID. I have no idea any more. All I know is yesterday I woke with a headache but managed to get through the day ok, but this morning the awful cough has set in.

My son was home all last week with flu and as he’s gotten better yesterday, I have gotten worse.

I hope it’s a short 24 hour bug.

Not much you can actually do except ride it out with cold and flu medication. It makes me queasy as well. I am going to stick to tea and toast today. 

I have no choice but work from home. It’s awful when you don’t get out very often but still manage to get ill.

Have a lovely Sunday wherever you are today. Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[Croix]

Dear Grandy and Fiatlux - with a wave to DB and all~

Commiserations, Fiatlux I'm glad your son is better, hopefully you only have the24 hour kind, particularity as coughing is so exhausting. I don't envy working from home on a Sunday. Your poetry from 4 years ago is sad but has a beauty in the way you express your life. I wish it was better for you.

Grandy, please do not push yourself too hard to get to the shop, sometimes a little more recuperation can work wonders. I do hope your injections are not that far off -it's good to have something to look forward too.

I wonder if you have many things in your cupboard you are not realy keen on, now without taste buds might be a good time to eat them up:)

Have your furbabys been behaving while you were ill?

A picnic sounds good (I'll bring the clams:)

Croix

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Happy Sheep, Deeb👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Fiatlux, Croix and everyone…….🤗

Thank you all for your caring posts, thank goodness I’m over the flu…I think that’s about the 3rd time I’ve ever caught the flu, that I can remember….and like the other times this one knocked me about quite a bit…I am so grateful I’m okay now….Fiatlux, I do hope you’ve recovered from your cold/flu or covid…it’s horrible to be physically unwell….

I have an appointment with my orthopaedic surgeon…hmm earliest appointment is near the end of November…We have many problems with specialists out my way, they don’t want to live in the country, so most of them fly in from Sydney fortnightly to attend their patients…I was shocked to hear that a customer who’s going to start radiation first then chemotherapy for his cancer has to travel (bus, train then bus again) to Sydney to have it done, find his own accommodation, pay for it out of his own pocket, pay for his food n drinks etc…for nearly 3 weeks, all while on dsp…go back home then do it all again after a month or 2…It’s so sad the way a lot of Drs and specialists won’t relocate to country towns…. I’m grateful that they fly in to help us, but at the same time sad they don’t work in our hospitals full time….

Oh, my taste buds are alive once more, so taste testing different chocolates is fun again😂😂…

The time I had off work, I realised that a lot of aches and pains nearly disappeared…then the day following work, I was back to being sore again, my back, leg and shoulders…Work helps me mentally but at the same time is physically painful….I’m at a loss as to what’s more important now…my mental or physical health…they both hurt in their own way…🤷🙇‍♀️…

The weather has been cold, with beautiful frosts in the morning, I was lucky to capture on my phone camera a sunrise that looked magical…the sky looked beautiful, bright red clouds that resembled the sea and waves…along with the darkened landscape I was in awe of it….not sure if I can temporarily put it as my avatar so you can see it….Deebi, I know you love it….love and care boomeranged back to you my bbff…💜🌈🤗🌹🦋..

I hope everyone is having a good day….

My love, hugs and care everyone…❤️🤗🌹….

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hi there dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and all the lovelies here and reading 🕊️

Sweety it blows me away at times I’ll be thinking more than usual about someone and presto there they are. This happens periodically in rl too. I was thinking I’ll drop in and have a cuppa with my dear bbff which of course was lasting over about a week 😅, oh yeah if thoughts could be actions. Hymm 🤔 must add that to my to do list which is not quite as far as Jupiter yet. True the saying ..doesn’t matter how long…as long as we get there which is happening in baby steps happy to say. 

So lovey very good news hearing you’re back on your feet again. Poor love I worry so much being by yourself out there and with not much help there. Let’s hope that in the future that changes.

As we all know life’s SO much harder in poor health. 
True as you said darl physical and mental pain both hurt. 

Oh good you’re seeing the orthopaedic fella soon. I’m hopeful the op might happen a lot sooner than expected. It’s pretty hard getting to see them anywhere really let alone in the sticks so fingers crossed that’s a good chunk of hope for better things ahead. 
Yes as our Croixy said…hi back Mr 😋 hope you’re doing well good man 🖐🍭 that’s a little something I grabbed for you about 4 yrs ago but being virtual it should be safe…I think ….drapes cape across shoulders…oops wind catches it…up up and uh oh…gravit

 Ahh not good work bringing on so much pain. That’s a tricky one isn’t it cause of the boost thank goods to your mh and how far you’ve come over the yrs with being around people, it’s fantastic seeing the good changes. Pat yourself too for that, if you didn’t draw on courage you wouldn’t have achieved so much beautiful lady. Always proud of you 🍫🍓

Poor man what a hike to get to needed health care. It’d be good if someone that goes there at the same time might be able to help him out from a certain point of the journey.

Haha so much blissful pleasure with the good ole tastebuds working again. Bet you’re stoked. Here lovey 🍫, sorry it’s only a quarter of a bar…but hey…gotta keep up my energy supplies somehow. They say for good health eat the right food. Yip choccy IS the right food for good mh 😅

I often feel for you with the ugh shudder extreme weather blaghh. 

ok before I run out of characters…Much love warmth and friendship sweety always 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗🦋😇🫶💜 take care hun and everyone 🦋

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, wave to eveyone,

Ohhhh that is so frustrating that you can't see your specialist until November.  It is so wrong that we can't get specialist to relocate to rural areas, there must be some way to make it worthwhile for them.  My heart goes out to that poor man needing cancer treatments.  Is your GP able to give you the needle in your shoulder to get you through to November?  

Lass is it possible to go to work & not do the heavier physical work?  I'm thinking if you could just work the cash register & do low impact tasks to give your body a break.  It is so good for your MH, that you don't want to have to leave because you have hurt yourself & you are such a valuable worker I'm sure they could make the necessary changes for you.

Yayy having your taste buds working again, definitely worth celebrating with some choccy.  I gave into temptation today as the general store had a selection of yummy things from the bakery in the nearby town & I bought 2 slices of dark chocolate brownies.  I've already eaten one, now I'm trying to not eat the other one before tomorrow... I don't like my chances of managing that. 🤣

Very chilly here too.  You are right the frosts can make things look magical.  Despite the cold today, when I filled my birdbath the Fairy Wrens were squabbling over who got to use it first.  I always wonder how such little birds cope with the weather extremes & why they would want to bathe on such a cold day.

Sending you a gentle hug

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, lovely Paws and everyone……🤗..

Thank you all, I still do the blue bin, but instead of lifting out the heavy bags, I now break open the heavier bags and empty them into another trolley, then when the bag is manageable I lift it into the other trolley, it’s a smaller trolley now with better wheels…might take a few extra trips, but we’ll worth it…I’m disappointed about my surgery not happening…hopefully it will happen sooner rather then later….

The weather is cold, which I prefer over summer…don’t like cold feet or hands..something about being snuggled into a warm doona and the feeling of safety is so nice…

The property across from me has sold…I do hope the new owners put in some cattle or sheep…horses would be great too….or maybe llamas…I just hope he doesn’t just let the land sit without doing something with it…not sure how I would feel if they started crops though…the old owner did at one time plant wheat and the dust made me sneeze constantly….I also had wheat stalks growing in my yard….time will tell I guess…no use worrying about it until it happens…and if it happens….

Still thinking about what to do with work… Betty*  has left Monday’s now….I have started teaching a couple of other girls the cash register just in case I decide to leave…or if I decide I want to go back to just sorting again and hand over the responsibility for the shop to someone else…mostly the customers are nice, but not all…

Only a quarter of chocolate bbff…that’s okay, a quarter is better than none at all😂😂..it’s the thought that counts, love you dearest bbff 💜🤗🦋…. Paws dark chocolate brownies, yummy…how did you go?  did the other slice last until the next day😂…I’m sure if I had two slices they would be gone in the same day…Toblerone chocolate (the larger bars) left over from Mother’s Day is on special for $4.00 a pkt…one of them jumped unnoticed into my trolly, when at the checkout I felt sorry for it, so I bought it and took it home…I don’t know, a piece each night keeps disappearing…hmmm I wonder where it goes😂😂..

Enjoy your day everyone….take time out for you…sit in the brilliant winter’s sun and listen to the natural sounds around you…

Love, hugs and care everyone..❤️🤗🦋🌈..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and all 🙂

I would have been here sooner lovey, again must have missed the notification. As you know dear bbff never through a lack of love 💜

Doing the bin that way I’m hoping makes it easier on your bod/s, can’t believe they don’t look after youse better esp with volunteers giving their time and effort helping the community. Big Pftt 😤

It would be disappointing darlin 🤗 esp there can be a lot of mixed emotions going on before an op. November will be here in a blink. Wow time doesn’t stop yet as we move on it seems to race. Unless of course we’re waiting for that whopping great lotto win ‌🤑‌‌🍫‌‌‌+ then you can have another quarter of choccy 🥳

Live stock on the land would be great. Lamas are pretty cool. They’re different & kinda interesting. Good hun re not worrying until and if what might happen. It helps calm anxiety. Esp if our fears don’t eventuate it’s wasted energy.

An option working out back sounds good giving you an out & amongst people for a bit. Maybe when you have time you could still have a G’day with the nice customers. Ive found that too that most people are nice but the damn ones that don’t seem to care how they carry on can wreck a good day. 
We love op shopping. 

Grandy love I keep meaning to say how happy I am for you when you said you have a rl friend. Guessing maybe from work. 

Ok so look after yourself Grandy 💭Throwing the love boomerang back 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 with warmth 💜🍓💭 pubAok beautiful 🕊️🦋

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone,……🤗🤗..

My home is very sad for the past week, around Christmas my middle fur girl was diagnosed with cancer…and has been extremely sick this week….watching her deteriorating before my very eyes is so so heartbreaking…..

I made a decision today to put her to sleep, but I couldn’t go through with it…on my way to the vet I felt like I was murdering her…so I turned back and took her home….I saw in my mind her being alive on the way to the vet but lifeless on the way home, how can I do this to her…..yesterday and today I have been called selfish, to keep her the way she is…..but how can I take what little life she has away from her…..I don’t have the right to end a life, only God or the universe has that right….my heart is breaking so much…I love her so much…I’m scared to loose her…

[Paw Prints]

Dear Grandy,

I do understand your pain at seeing her so ill & at what other people are saying too you.  Lass you are the only person who can decide what is best for your girl.  I know how hard it was for me to say goodbye to Woofa & have the vet put him to sleep.  I did it as I thought I was doing what was kindest for him at that time, despite how much loosing him broke my heart & still hurts.  But it depends very much on each dog & each owner, if you feel she still has some life to live, then only you can decide that & no one else has the right to judge. 

Gentle hugs

Paws

[quirkywords]

Grandy it is your cat and it is your decision. It is your business and others should not be judgmental.

You are kind and I understand your reasons as you have so much love for your fur girl. 
I agree with paw prints with people judging.