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Alone..Depressed..Sad..

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion
Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..
5,671 Replies 5,671

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey bbff πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘© Hannah πŸ• Tess ⚘ nice seeing you ☺ was wondering if you're ok darlz. Sad hearing not so good.

Darlin thank you for being so beautiful. Think that was a first for me which is a wonder I've botched so often along the way but starting to get it right which is the main thing πŸ˜€

Good the furs are getting used to Peppa. I hope they'd realize in time if not now that she's just a babe. Not being used yet to her energy would be unsettling. As with humans the water settles with time and trust developes

Love she has your heart πŸ’œ Btw Destiny & Eternity want to come for a stay and I'm in need of your Ace mechanical πŸ›  skills to give our 🏍 VroomπŸ’¨ a bit of tlc please esp after the motor fell out when I accidentally did a wheel stand. I'll have to push it. The furs can have the seat with the motor tied behind ⚑ hymm πŸ€” might anonymously call the council to re tar the Rd. Sigh... busy busy

Been wondering how you're going re your brother. Not wanting to stir emotion lovey just concern. Hoping your MH's ok atm

Oh darl I feel for you/se being amongst people being so hard. It'd be quite traumatic I'd think. My thoughts are that it's not too late to work through the hards. Of course tremendously hard having this for if not all your life dear friend. The enormous progress just going to work let alone out front. As you said once that's exposure therapy plus. Loven tho the goods having pleasant exchanges with people. Gold😊

Important to believe that slow change is possible as you're seeing. Super hard for sure. In small steps is ok. You did darts too.You've always impressed me sweety my girl

I read about the cyst yowch on your kidney ? causing back pain. Wondering if over a few days if you could manage an email to them briefly explaining the sitch around people they might be able to have you wait in a less crowded room. Shame it's a big drive. Any chance your so/so helper could take you. Must be exhausting and so hard you poor soul. Wish I could be with you. ALWAYS in spirit darlin πŸ’œ

What a shame no anti inflams for hip. Think 🐾 suggest the ointment as a ? option. I know you'd check with lovely GP. Would Betty be up to the trip with you. Might be too much for her

Grandy same as you no probs or pressure to post at mine lovey. I'm totally secure with our bbff-nessπŸ˜ƒ

I think about y/our tree. Have a lovely image of it. One of my goals is to do my surprise for you (mentally some ideas) and you doing the tree. No rush tho.

Always my besty πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ•Š & πŸ—―πŸ’œ

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Grandy, wave to all,

I'm so pleased to read that your furs are getting used to Peppa... I must confess to chuckling at her destructive mischief... it reminds me of Woofa doing similar in his younger days... I quickly learnt to shut doors to no go rooms & to put things out of reach... hopefully as she settles in & finds her paws this phase will soon pass.

Oh lass I'm so sorry you felt so uncomfortable at the meeting... I find it horrible being expected to speak in front of a group of people too... well done you managing it.

Lass I hope you didn't over do things helping Mrs nsc move her couches... it sounded like quite an effort was needed...

Stay warm

Big hugs

Paws

Hi sweety Grandy πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘© Pawsy 🐾 and all 😊

No need to reply sweet lady just passing through to say hi give you a long hug πŸ€— and have some choccy 🍫 ...I mean a cuppa...actually why not all of the above ...yes sounds like a plan don't ya think.

Just letting you know dearest friend you're very loved appreciated and cared deeply about.

Always in my thoughts πŸ—― precious friend

PubAok need you ☺

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ’œπŸ€—πŸ˜šπŸ«πŸ—―βš˜πŸΎ

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Deebi, Hanna, Paws and everyone...πŸ€—

Thank you so much for your kind posts..

I needed that long hug today bbff...and a cuppa with chocolate.....

Thank you my dear bbff...and everyone else talking here...I’m sorry I haven’t replied...just not up to talking about me right now..

I’m doing okay...my fur girls are all doing okay...The tears and sadness that depression seems to bring me....has been hanging around for about a week now..and I’m struggling to get on top of it....It never really leaves us, does it?...It can hide or sleep in the background then...out it pops to give another cycle...

Hugs, love and care everyone...πŸ’œπŸ€—πŸŒΉ..

Bbff...please don’t worry...like all the other times...this will pass in its own time...big love and a long hug back to you..πŸ’™πŸ’«πŸ€—πŸ€—.

Grandy..

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Grandy (waves to Deebi and everyone!)

I'm sorry you're suffering a bout of sadness, I wonder what brings this on? How unpleasant for you! The winter weather probably doesn't help. I'm glad that the furs are getting along OK.

I hope you can look after yourself and be kind to yourself and do some small things that might help you feel a bit better - I love a pot of tea from my lovely little earthenware pot-for-one... Maybe a sweet snack? A faourite utube channel or TV show? There is one lovely utube channel where a man plays the accordian to a lovely sweet cow... videos like that make me feel happy!

The nights and mornings are very cold now... we had some lovely sunshine today, we sat outside in it and enjoyed it... there was an elderly man sitting at an easel painting a picture of the river... afterwards he and his wife sat at a picnic table and had what looked like a lovely lunch with wine in wine glasses and a tablecloth - very stylish and nice on a sunny afternoon!

Sending soft fluffy hugs from little Sam, and warm hugs from me oxoxoxox

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey sweety πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘© Hannah πŸ• and all πŸ‘‹

Ahh darlin yip it doesn't seem to go far does it. Just waiting in the dark for less sleep to show it's pain.

Thanks beautiful for telling us how you are. That's ok honey only when and if you're up to talking we're right here sweet friend.

Good hearing the furs are going well the dear things. Cute jobs they sound like πŸ€—

It will pass hun that's something that helps me get through these times. It's horrible isn't it feeling like that. Dear love it's so hard eh.

Always remember darlin/s we're so much stronger than we think or feel.

Always deepest love and thoughts dear friend πŸ€—

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ’œπŸ«πŸ—―πŸ•Šβš˜πŸ˜š

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Grandy, wave to all,

Thank you for your lovely words on mine... especially as you are feeling so sad yourself... lass here is a big comforting hug right back for you... I wish it were in r/l

Be gentle with yourself lass... make yourself a cuppa & snuggle on your couch with your furs

Love &hugs

Paws

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Hanna, DeebiπŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©, Paws and everyone...πŸ€—.

Thank you for your kind inspirational posts.l.

Hanna...my depression stays with me 24/7, most times I can manage it...until a trigger or something silly I do, brings it deeper down....I have resigned myself to the fact that my depression doesn’t give me much of a break....at all...

Last Tuesday, was a nightmare at work..😒...An intoxicated older man walked into the shop and started vocally abusing us...Betty went out back and called the police and he was taken into custody...I felt sorry for that poor man, and guilty because the police was rung....the other girls were angry and upset with the man....all I felt was sadness and guilt...Why can’t I feel like the other girls felt?...am I normal or am I mentally damaged?....Even my support worker started downing him....before I even finished telling her what happened....I am very confused now about my feelings? emotions?....about what happened...

Anyway...today was a better day at work then last Tuesday...

Deep love back to you bbff...24/7 πŸ’­...πŸ’™πŸ¦‹πŸ§ΈπŸ€—..

My love, hugs and care everyone...πŸ’œπŸ¦‹πŸ•ŠπŸ€—.

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©Grandy.πŸ•ŠπŸŒ±πŸŒΏπŸŒ³

monkey_magic
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Grandy,

I think you have a soft heart and empathy and a sensitivity for people which isn't always a bad thing You probably felt sorry for the man and didn't want anything bad to happen to him.

Sorry to hear about you going through depression 24/7 that must be tough.

I personally think you're a lovely, sensitive soul that the world needs more of.

Love,

πŸ’

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Grandy

I can't write much as I've come down with a nasty gastric virus and I feel too sick I'm sorry...

I think with that man you see the humanity rather than the behaviour. I think that's a sign of what a very decent and kind person you are,

πŸ™‚πŸ•πŸŒΌπŸŒΊπŸŒ»πŸ’–