Adopted son of 37 years just contacted me..I'm so scared as what to do.

Ggrand · ‎11-09-2017

Hi I have another thread but unrelated to this.

37 years ago my husband and young son (2tears old). was living in our car for around 8 months.I was pregnant at the time. My parents disowned me when I eloped with my husband. My husbands parents were strange and we never told them we were living in the car.

I gave birth to my second son while we were living in the car. My hubby contacted his father and his Godmother who both talked us into putting our baby into foster care for a few months until we got organized, as we couldn't have a baby living in the car. After I got out of hospital my father in law told us to stay with him. Then a woman from child services came to see us and said it best to adopt our baby out.I didn't want to but I had to or we were back in the car living and would loose our baby and possibly our other young son . because father in law said it was the only way we could stay with them.

My adopted son found me and contacted me on Sunday I was to shocked to answer him back until today.contact has only been through facebook messenger. I told him i will ring him tonight around 8.30pm.

I have never told my 2 other sons about him. I don't know how to tell them.Will they hate me for doing this as I have hated myself and never forgiven myself over all these years.I have thought about him over the years especially on his birthdays. I am so very scared. Hubby died 4 years ago so I have to do this on my own.

Hubby and I decided we would never try to find him as we didn't want to upset his life..I am a complete mess as what to do..Please can someone help me.

Ggrand · ‎01-12-2017

Hello WhiteKnight,

What a nice little poem, It has a good message,

I read our own worse enemy and see saw. I understand what you've written. You have good threads and they help me but atm I'm hurting WK, yesterday was rough.

Take care of yourself,

kind thoughts only

GG

quirkywords · ‎01-12-2017

GG

sorry yesterday was rough.

How are you today?

Thinking of you.

Quirky

Ggrand · ‎01-12-2017

Hi Quirky,

Really deep

GG.

Ggrand · ‎02-12-2017

Hello WhiteKnight and Quirky,

I will try this again. Couldn't finish yesterday,

Really Deep.

Really deep inside my head,

is where my problems really began,

really deep their cemented in,

why don't they flew out and not stay in,

paper and pen I get out,

write out my problem, then throw them out,

now it's time to sleep I go to bed,

but my problems they awake again,

earplugs in and music loud,

will help to move that dark cloud,

distraction is the way to go,

hoping tomorrow my problems will go.

kind thoughts.

GG.

quirkywords · ‎02-12-2017

GG and everyone

thanks for your emotional poem.

I hope you managed some sleep.

I have nights like that- with problems

really deep and cemented in- that is great imagery.

Kind thoughts

Quirky

white knight · ‎03-12-2017

Hi granny

I havent been on much and today 3 hour trip to the city, mil in hospital.

Keep faith that its a cycle. Wait for the right time to bounce back.

Topic: depression, the timing of motivation- beyondblue

Dont read if you dont want to. You will be ok.

Tony WK

Ggrand · ‎03-12-2017

Hello WhiteKnight,

Im sorry to hear your mother in law is sick and in hospital, I am wishing her well and hopes your mother in law recovers, Its easy not to care for yourself when faced with stressful situations, WK, and if I may MrsWK, please take care of each other.

WK, I'll definitely read, I want to..

kind thoughts only, (🤗🤗🤗).

GG

Ggrand · ‎27-12-2017

Hi everyone,

Not been here for a while but I don't want this on my other thread.

I stayed home for Christmas for a reason.

I have not been well, really not in a good in my mind, with my thoughts.

My youngest just messaged me to say he and his family is 3 hours away from my home. I haven't seen him since September nor spoken to him but msgs yes on occasions.

I love them so much please believe I do. but I don't want to see them. I'm not well mentally, I can't function well atm.

why do they take it apon themselves to invite themselves to my place, I can't even look after myself properly let alone another 3 more..I did msg and tell the 3 of them I needed to be on my own.

My grandson he is 9yrs old now. He has Torrettes with ticks, poor sweetheart..It's hard to see a loved one going through the cycles of Torrettes. . I'm not strong enough to keep the tears in, not now anyway, then my tears will upset him and that will make him feel bad.

I really don't need this now.. He said there staying for a week maybe two. I'm not confident anymore being a mum or grandma because I'm not confident being me.

Geez I hope I get through this in one piece and it doesn't drag me down to much..

When I see any of them they just trigger the crap out of me, They look, walk and sound like there dad. Memories come back.memories of their childhood, memories more vivid then now of what I went through with their dad, It wasn't to bad before my breakdown, everything was stashed away deep inside it was asleep, My breakdown woke everything up and brought it to the surface,

i don't need this now, I don't want to slip any further then I am now and I'm in deep atm.

I have to suck it in put on a lie, and pretend.

GG

Elizabeth CP · ‎27-12-2017

Your son is visiting because he loves you & wants to see you. I understand it is hard. We used to visit my in-laws when they were unwell. The place was a mess. My MIL usually fell asleep & was unable to participate in the conversation even when awake. We went to show we loved them & cared. We accepted them as they were. We knew they couldn't entertain us or provide food or anything although we would get drinks for them when they wanted. I realise it is not the same as your situation but I think putting off seeing your kids is making things worse for you.

quirkywords · ‎27-12-2017

GG

Thanks for the update but I am sad that you are still in pain.

I can understand that you are suffering and that you need space. I can see that looking after another 3 would be stressful.

Is there any way you could meet half way say 1 1/2 hrs each do driving and have a meal at a cafe or one thing low key.

I understand the triggers and the stress but it is great he wants to keep in touch and see you.

I see you have come a long way but you feel you are struggling now.

I know you are strong and will be okay. It will take time and I am cheering you on.

Kind thoughts

Quirky