We lost my son of 29years of age to suicide.

[Grazia]

My son lost the will to live almost 3 months ago.He had suffered with mental illness since about the age of 16 years .He was diagnosed with multipal conditions on numerous different medications .Bipolar,scitzaphrinia,DID,mania,ocd just to name a few.i think this last year of his life was the hardest by far.i saw him at least every second day assisted him with daily activities,doctors appts. Just being there for him.He used to talk about suicide and how he wanted his mental pain to stop and this was the only way out .I tried so hard to get help for him .He even admitted himself to 2 private hospitals for 3months.2 days before he was discharged he tried to end his life in hospital.I pleaded with doctors and psycitrist not to that I was concerned .they told me they couldn't help him anymore.He health went down hill after that.i feel the mental health system failed him and feel I have failed my son.my pain is enormous and I miss him soo much.We need more education on mental health .I think it should be introduced in high school.There needs to be more awareness and more help emotionally physical they need empathy ,love,respect and understanding.I keep asking myself where did I go wrong what should've I done differently.I thought even he said he wants out of this mental torture I didn't think he'd go through with it.What can we do as a community to stop all this wasted lives.I thought my son will see me get old .Thanks in advance 

 

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[geoff]

dear Grazia, I believe that you were his mother and I can't say how distraught I honestly feel for you and want to offer my sincere condolences to you.

It must have been a terrible experience not only for your son but also for yourself, with the constant worry of maybe expecting the worse, struggling so hard to try and get help for him, all to no avail.

How disappointed all of this experience would have been and certainly left a scar on you, one that will never be able to be repaired, and the awareness from this incident which has unfortunately made you become a better person.

Please don't criticise what I have just said, because as each one of us try and overcome depression there is a great deal that we learn and have experienced along the way, but this doesn't mean it makes it any easier for us to cope with the ongoing battles we face everyday.

There is so much more our health system has to learn and then handle people who are in dire straights, and who need urgent help, assistance and definitely support.

It's impossible to allot one person only a small amount of time and then discard them or sent then back home, because what does this achieve nothing or probably worse circumstances, and this is what is happening, and for the hospital to say to your son 'they couldn't help him any more' is without foundation.

I totally agree that depression/suicide should be taught at school, but perhaps much earlier than high school, at a primary level, where bullying can occur, and other parental problems.

This whole discussion needs to be done sooner than later, because depression doesn't start at a particular age, or at a particular level at school.

I really want you to accept my most sincere apologies for not being able to help and support you along this most sad occasion.

Please take care, and can I suggest that you see your doctor, which you may have already done so. L Geoff. x

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Grazia,

Welcome to BeyondBlue and thanks for reaching out.

My dearest condolences for the loss of your son.  I feel like there aren't a lot of words that I can say to really ease your pain, but know that you are heard and cared for.

Suicide is such a permanent solution to what can be a temporary problem and this is why the forum exists; to try and reinforce this but also let people know that they aren't alone in how they feel and there is a way out.

Please know that none of what has happened is in anyway your fault.  You have not failed your son.  I do believe that there are so many errors in the mental health system however but this can't be fixed quickly so any little bit that we can do makes a big difference.

Take care of yourself, and if you ever wish to support BeyondBlue in becoming an advocate reach out again.  In the meantime I'm sending lots of healing thoughts your way.