Sudden and traumatic loss of partner at a young age

[Rose2114]

I lost my partner of 2 years on new years eve 2021...he was only in his late 20's..

It was a freak incident where where he was significantly injured.

Everyday I'm reminded of how horrifying it was to see my most favourite person hurt.

I can't stop seeing everything that happened that day, and can't help but think how easily this could have been avoided.

It's difficult to get to sleep most nights and I am easily woken. When awake I am easily startled, easily spooked and hyper vigilant.

He was also my best friend and a band mate. Most of my life involved him and we spoke every day. Most people around me have partners, have someone to comfort them through the loss of him as well. Which has made it hard to find the right person to turn to when I need to talk. I am talking to a psychologist, I am also here to broaden the avenues to where I can express my feelings. Seeing friends outside of the grieving circle seems daunting and more isolating than actually isolating myself.

This grief will never leave me, and a life like this doesn't feel worth living...The suggestions of ways to make ones self feel better don't seem to help much, just a way to use up time. They say it will get better... it's only been 2 months, but what if it doesn't get better?

He and I weren't married or living together, but I guess it still makes sense to call me a widow. A late 20's year old widow.
Although I feel like I aged 20 years from this experience. This marks and end of an era, an early end to my 20's, an end to ever feeling love the way I felt it for him and an end to everything we ever planned to do for our future.

I'd be interested to hear from others who've lost their partners and their grieving experience.

Was there a point where you felt more motivated again? Where does motivation come from?

Thanks.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Rose2114

Thank you so much for coming to the forums and being brave enough to share such a difficult experience. We hope that you feel safe and supported to continue posting on the forums, this is a welcoming and accepting community who offer genuine and honest advice and support.
 
We can hear that you are grieving, please be assured this is a normal and healthy process following the loss of a loved one. It may feel as though there is no end to the grief, but we as a community are here to support you on that journey.
 
It is great that you have engaged with a Psychologist, professional support is a positive step in this Journey. We would also recommend discussing the sleep issues with your psychologist or alternatively your G.P as they may provide specific techniques or aids to help you with you sleep and hypervigilance.
 
From your post we can see that is a very recent loss and we encourage you to discuss your experiences and thoughts with a counselor, we would really encourage you to reach out to Griefline. Griefline supports anyone experiencing grief, facing any type of loss, access to free telephone and online support services and resources. Their national toll-free helpline operates from 6am to midnight (AEST) and they can be contacted on 1300 845 745
 
Please know that you're not alone with this, you can call the Beyond Blue Support Service at any time, on 1300 22 4636 or webchat via Beyond Blues Website https://www.beyondblue.org.au/support-service/chat . They can help if you feel you need someone to talk to or to discuss assistance that may be available for you.
 
We understand feeling that some things are just a distraction, but we would love for you to continue to seek out further ideas and recommendations within the forum. This is a link to a relevant thread, https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/grief-and-loss/dealing-with-grief-and-loss .
 
We hope that you find help and support through the experiences and knowledge shared by the great Beyond Blue community, please continue to share with us and engage on the forums. Thank you again for trusting the community to assist you and being strong enough to share such a close and traumatic experience.
 
Warm regards
Sophie M

[LYCB]

I’m so sorry for your loss - I can’t offer more advice but as mentioned in the post above there are resources out there for you.

I do hope you’re also getting counseling to work through this horrible loss. X