Struggling after my brothers suicide

[Bellatpwk]

I am new here, have never posted before.

I am so lost. I lost my brother a little over 12 months ago to suicide which has not only effected my own mental health and struggle with depression and anxiety, it also has caused a flow-on effect in my job, my living situation, finances, self-esteem, weight and everything in-between. I feel like I've lost a year of my life, and I am still no closer to getting it back. I just don't know how to function. I am at work now and overloaded with things to do but cant seem to do anything. I don't really know the purpose of this post - I guess I just felt the need to share it and write it down... I have supportive friends but I feel like there is only so much depression from me they can take and they would just get sick of my issues. I put on a smile everyday for everyone and yet inside I feel like I am breaking. I was on anti-depressants but they caused me to gain around 25kgs so I stopped them.

I drink most nights... I don't feel like I rely on it, it takes the edge off, but I never go to bed drunk or wake up hungover... I just have a few but I never really drank before and I wish I could stop.

I miss him more than anything. He was the kindest, most wonderful, most talented and thoughtful human ever. I still don't understand why this happened. He wol

[Croix]

Dear Bellatpwk~

My heart goes out to you, the death of a close family member by suicide is one of the very hardest things in life to face. There is no time-scale and all the grief, loss and seeming inability to deal with work and the rest of things is understandable and putting on that mask simply isolates you and makes it worse.

I'm afraid I do not think drink is a long term answer either, it can easily turn into an additional problem of its own.

Do you mind if I make a couple of suggestions?

The first is to join a support group in your area, perhaps the one run by Lifeline (13 11 14) or on

https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/topics/suicide-bereavement

If there is no group in your area have a look at the other suggestions on that page. It really does help to share with others going through the same, there is comfort in it. Do not let the fact a year has passed stop you, your need is as great as it was before.

The other thing I'd suggest is to return to your doctor and explain the weight-gain problem. There are various different medications, and there may be an alternative that helps without that side-effect.

You know you are welcome here anytime

Croix

[blondguy]

Hello Bellatpwk

My sincere condolences for your loss Bella. Croix (above) has mentioned noteworthy suggestions including our friends at Lifeline that are available 24/7 on 13 11 14 and the link below

www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/topics/suicide-bereavement

I understand your pain as my brother took his own life (a few years ago) and it still hurts.....a lot

The forums are a non judgemental and safe place for you to post Bellatpwk

you are not alone

my kind thoughts and support

Paul

[IsaJett]

Hi Bella

my dad took his own life and it still hurt too after many many years ago . I have many questions unanswered but now i mostly talk to him as i know he is listening . He is very close to my heart although no longer with me . I know he is watching over me.

try some meditation video ...this guy I use (Jason Stephenson >> Let GO meditation video )...helped me a lot when i was going through my trauma...i hope he can help you too.. its good to use this forum as an outlet ...we are always here for you 🙂

You are doing well Bella ..just take one step at a time ..and I bet your little brother is smiling down upon you . Stay strong my friend .

please keep writing here ,,,you are not alone ...we are here with you