Self-employed but unable to work

[E_]

I am self-employed and don't have a lot of savings.

I experienced a great personal loss last weekend and since then I have cancelled all of my work because I haven't been able to get out of bed. I have had horrible things happen to me before but this is the most pain I've ever felt and I don't see a way out.

I will have $0 coming in this week. I plan to force myself to go back to work on Monday but I can't stand the thought of working with my clients. It's been 5 days and I can barely get out of bed to go to bathroom let alone go to work and act normal. I just cry and sleep all day.

I'm worried I'm going to lose my clients respect, my business and my income. I'm single and I don't have any family. There is no one I can get money from and I don't think my clients would like seeing someone else.

I don't know what to do about money. I couldn't even get into see a therapist until 9 days after the event. I will be back at work before seeing them.

I feel like I can't stop thinking about everything I've lost and it's making everything worse. I've tried searching online but I really don't think there is any help for a self employed person going through a mental health crisis alone. I'm scared I won't even he able to pay a therapist to talk to me.

[Sophie_M]

Hi E_,  It sounds like things are pretty hard, and you’re coping with a lot. We’re sorry to hear you’re feeling this way and are having a hard time with the critical thoughts you’re having.   Well done for opening up here. It’s really difficult to be open and articulate about how you’re feeling and what might be aggravating it. Lots of people on the forums find that sharing is an early step on the journey towards feeling better. We’re sure we’ll hear from them on your thread soon. In the meantime, here’s some resources you could take a look at: 

• When your inner critic is giving you a tough time 

• The Beyond Blue Heads Up page on working with a mental health condition  
• The Beyond Blue Heads Up resources on taking care of your mental health.  

If you want to talk this through with a Beyond Blue counsellor, please give the helpline a ring on 1300 22 4636 or use the webchat to speak to them.  Thanks again for sharing. Our community is really kind and understanding, we think they’ll have some really helpful advice and perspectives.   Kind regards,  Sophie M 

[Sophie_M]

Hi E_,  It sounds like things are pretty hard, and you’re coping with a lot. We’re sorry to hear you’re feeling this way and are having a hard time with the critical thoughts you’re having.   Well done for opening up here. It’s really difficult to be open and articulate about how you’re feeling and what might be aggravating it. Lots of people on the forums find that sharing is an early step on the journey towards feeling better. We’re sure we’ll hear from them on your thread soon. In the meantime, here’s some resources you could take a look at: 

• When your inner critic is giving you a tough time 

• The Beyond Blue Heads Up page on working with a mental health condition  
• The Beyond Blue Heads Up resources on taking care of your mental health.  

If you want to talk this through with a Beyond Blue counsellor, please give the helpline a ring on 1300 22 4636 or use the webchat to speak to them.  Thanks again for sharing. Our community is really kind and understanding, we think they’ll have some really helpful advice and perspectives.   Kind regards,  Sophie M 

[Sophie_M]

Hi E_,  It sounds like things are pretty hard, and you’re coping with a lot. We’re sorry to hear you’re feeling this way and are having a hard time with the critical thoughts you’re having.   Well done for opening up here. It’s really difficult to be open and articulate about how you’re feeling and what might be aggravating it. Lots of people on the forums find that sharing is an early step on the journey towards feeling better. We’re sure we’ll hear from them on your thread soon. In the meantime, here’s some resources you could take a look at: 

• When your inner critic is giving you a tough time 

• The Beyond Blue Heads Up page on working with a mental health condition  
• The Beyond Blue Heads Up resources on taking care of your mental health.  

If you want to talk this through with a Beyond Blue counsellor, please give the helpline a ring on 1300 22 4636 or use the webchat to speak to them.  Thanks again for sharing. Our community is really kind and understanding, we think they’ll have some really helpful advice and perspectives.   Kind regards,  Sophie M 

[tranzcrybe]

We can become comfortable with the things we have, or people we know and are close to - these form the underpinnings of our lives.
When this changes, we can feel the intensity of the fall, not knowing where to start to pick up the pieces or find a pathway out.
Without any family to call upon, your clients may just have to suffice - and you might be surprised how supportive people can be when one is in distress.
You wouldn't expect to be operating at full capacity, but sometimes the mere distraction of work makes carrying on a welcome escape from troubling thoughts, if only until you get home again - this brief reprieve will sustain you.
Little by little, things usually find their way and we adapt and rebuild again. Until such time, be gentle to yourself, allowing healing and recovery as needs be.