Reaching out and thinking of me

[2by2]

Hi everyone,  4 months ago my husband, well we weren't married but we were in a 14yr relationship passed away from an aneurysm.  He was away at work when I got the phone call. He was put on life support so he could be transported by Royal Flying Doctors and he never woke up from it.  The next day I had give a day and time I was ready to turn the machines off.  Fast forward to now I have kept myself busy, not busy to forget what's happened but kept moving.  Now I have stopped to think about me.  I have booked me an appointment to see a professional and have committed to myself to attend 6 sessions.  The 1st 2 appointments I cancelled, I was and to be honest still scared to go.  Scared this 1hour is all about me, said I have to face it I supposed but I want to do it at the same time.

I don't really know what I am expecting out of writing in here but I do want to know if anyone knows of any groups in Perth that I could attend for people grieving.  Anyway, that's all I have to say.

[White_Rose]

Hello 2by2

Glad you found Beyond Blue and welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to read of your loss and I commiserate with you.

Grief is a long term condition when you have the loss of a partner. Four months is a very short period to get over this. I applaud your desire to get some grief counselling which I feel sure will help you. I can appreciate your nervousness about the unknown. And it will be a painful topic to talk about. If you feel ready to do this I can only encourage you to take a deep breath and attend the next appointment.

It will be about you but also about your husband. You will be able to talk about the good times you had as well as your sadness that he is no longer here. You may well cry during this time. It's OK. Professional counselors are used to this, though I can appreciate you may not feel the same. I always feel a bit embarrassed when I cry in counselling but it's OK to let out your grief in this way.

What do you want to get from this counselling? This is something worth considering and asking when you attend the first session. My suggestion is to grab your courage and go to one session. See how you feel. Not just the sadness, because I expect there will be sadness, but how you feel about the counsellor. Is he/she reassuring, easy to talk to, gentle, lets you talk? Then make up your mind about going back.

Let us know what happens.

Mary

[Neil_1]

Hi there 2x2

I really cannot add a lot more to Mary’s wonderful response to you, however I did want to pass on my own sympathies to you.

To have kept yourself busy and occupied over recent times must have been a huge task;  of course, you’re never going to forget, but as you say, just to keep moving.  But now you feel is the right time to reach out for some professional support and I really do hope it all goes well for you.  Perhaps, you could write some things down – some dot points that you may wish to take along with you – with possible things you’d like to raise or talk about – share?

One last thing – I hope you’ve got some good support networks around you?  Other family members, friends?

Also please know that even though these messages of support and care are on a website, we are real people and we really do care for everyone who comes here, so please if you feel like writing more here, I just wanted to let you know that we’ll be here to respond back to you.

Kind regards

Neil

[White_Rose]

Hello 2by2

How are you going? It's been a few days since we last heard from you and I wonder what is happening.

You asked about support groups in Perth and I neglected to answer you. GROW is a great support organisation which you may find helpful. Look up www.grow.net.au and search for a local group. Another support organisation is Anglicare www.anglicarewa.org.au/  This is for bereaved people to get together and they offer grief counselling. You could also check out Relationships Australia and the Salvation Army. Both organisations offer counselling and may have links to support groups also.

I hope you made it to a counselling session. Please let us know how you are travelling.

Mary