My mum passed away late last year, finding it difficult to get on with life

Simone1974 · ‎29-03-2014

My mum passed away late last year. I've really tired to get on with my life but I'm finding it extremely difficult. I seem to go through good and bad patches. Lately I've been feeling worse and worse. I'm just so depressed and exhausted all of the time. I am on anti depressants and something to help me sleep and I don't even know if they are working or not. Just feeling horrible and I don't know what to do.

beingbyrne · ‎30-03-2014

Oh…Simon, I am really sorry about your loss..sending big hugs your way.

Have you tried counselling before? I think "Cognitive Behavioural Therapy would be more effective as treatment, because it helps you to deal with your emotions. Antidepressant by itself doesn't always fix the problem.

And how was your mental health before your mum's past away? That's an important factor as well.

Hope to hear from you again.

Simone1974 · ‎30-03-2014

Hi, I am going to counselling and me next session is on Tuesday. My mum suffered very badly from bi polar. I have lived a life of worry and stress and I'm only 40. I don't know what life is without worry. I think that I feel worse now that she's gone as it's been a build up since I was a kid. I just feel lost without her and now I don't know what my purpose is. I have my dad and my boyfriend who are supportive but I don't feel like they can help me. They can't fix what's going on inside of me. I almost feel like I've had a nervous breakdown since this has happened.

geoff · ‎30-03-2014

dear Simone, I am really sorry to hear this news, and yes it will be a struggle for you.

With your mum suffering from bipolar for most of your life would have been maybe an unstable life, because this specific illness has it's ups and downs, and so you aren't too sure about what's going to happen next, that's the nature of this particular illness, and it was never her fault.

I think that the fear you have now is that all of a sudden you don't have anyone to look after, so this proves to become an anxiety problem, and please correct me if I am wrong.

Your dad and your boyfriend can be supportive but it's not the way that you need from them, as I presume you were very close to your mum, and probably more so than them.

Please let us know how you get on Tuesday. L Geoff. x

Simone1974 · ‎01-04-2014

Hi, I had a good session today. Got a lot off my chest and did a lot of crying. Going to try and fix my medications as they are not working properly ( which is what I thought) . I am going to try and think positive thoughts and keep busy as I've been laying on the couch most of the time. I'm just so mentally exhausted, have really been through a lot over the years. That's all I can do at the moment. One day at a time.

geoff · ‎02-04-2014

dear Simone, when you have a good relationship with your counsellor and I think it maybe with a psychiatrist, please correct me if I am wrong, as you mention changing your medicine, then we are able to unload our problems.

Can I just say that by laying on the couch your mind is going to go from good points then to sad points, and normally these sad points have more strength that seem to dominate your mind, so when this may start, try and get up and do anything that you seem to like, which will stop these bad thoughts, because if you don't, you will end up back to square one, and this means that you will be a mess.

I know that this is very difficult to do, but it means that if we can change our thinking to go from bad to good then that's a positive start. L Geoff. x

sunshine00 · ‎04-04-2014

I too, lost my Mom last August 2013 and she was a strong character and presence in our life. It is very much up and down. I have trained myself (through a counsellor) to notice any triggers and actions from my part to ensure I do not go sliding down the dark path. It is difficult, but conscious efforts does well. I am so glad you are seeing a counsellor and looking into your medications. I did not want to take medications for a long time and a few years ago when times were very bad, I agreed to start taking them. It has helped me a lot. I miss my Mom every day, but I know she would want me to live a good life, which I am sure your Mom does as well. I am grateful of the years we had with her. It does take time, but a great step in sharing your loss with us and taking action. You will come through being a much stronger person and being more aware of who you are.