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My Mum Nan & Niece passed away without 8months. How do i do life
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My heart goes out to you Monique.
It is so hard to deal with grief, and that bubble in the throat makes it harder to talk to people about what has happened. I know you are not ready to talk to anyone yet, but it is worth leaving your details with the cancer council. They can't help with all of it, but they can help with some of your grief, especially surrounding your mum.
The need to be strong for your siblings is a strong and honourable desire, but an unnecessary one. They are grieving just as you are, and more than anyone else, know what you are going through. Please reach out to them, just as you support them, they too can support you. That is what family is, a bunch of people supporting each other through life.
Look after yourself Monique
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Hi Monique, welcome to the forums. Like you said, it's painful for you to talk about, but you joined and posted about it, so good on you. That took a lot of courage in itself.
I'm so very sorry to hear about the losses of your loved ones, and your struggles. My sincere condolences to you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm only 20 but I know how you feel. My Nana (my Mum's Mum) passed away in 2013 when I just turned 13. That was the first passing I had to witness. Then my Grandpa (Mum's Dad) passed away in 2015. Like your Nan, my Grandpa had Dementia & he was ill when I was born too. My Nana was a Nurse for over 40 years & that's how they met, & she looked after him, so of course when she passed away, his health got worse.
Anyway, my advice would be just think of all the wonderful moments you had with all of them. I know how hard that is because you can never have those moments back, and create any more memories. Trust me I know. But that's something that has helped me a little, just reminiscing and having a laugh about the good moments. Think about how thankful you are that you had them in your life, even if it was only for a short time. Have a look at photos or anything that reminds you of them, if you're up to it.
Also, tell yourself that there's no time limit on grieving, and that everybody copes in different ways. Try to think that they're all out of their pain and suffering, and they're at peace wherever they are. I'm not religious or anything but that helps me too.
I know how hard it is, I really do. None of it feels real to me Years on, and I still remember everything, I have PTSD from it all. I love and miss them all everyday. But I'm thankful that I had them and shared good times with them.
I'm sorry if my suggestions sound stupid and don't help, but they're just some things that help me a little. I hope I didn't trigger you or anything like that. I hope you start to feel better, even a little.
As for the drugs and alcohol, wow that's terrible, I'm so sorry about that also. I know you said you don't wish to see a Doctor, but maybe something like that and another health professional and people who deal with those things is worth looking into, but it's your decision. I understand how frustrating and hard it is to find a good GP, therapist, etc though also. You can do some on Skype if you're not comfortable seeing them face to face. Just do a Google search if you're up to it.
I'm so sorry, I hope I helped a bit, I'm sorry if not. Love,
Tayla
