My fiancé just broke up with me

[Guest_78631374]

Hi everyone,

I’m going through something really painful and I’m struggling to cope. I was in a very serious relationship where everything seemed fine. We were planning a future together, talking about marriage and commitments, and he was consistently affectionate and involved. There were no signs anything was wrong.

Very suddenly, he told me that he “loves me but is not in love with me,” and that he has been having doubts he never communicated. It felt like it came out of nowhere and completely shocked me. Now the relationship is over.

Since then, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. I’m dealing with a heavy chest, nausea, shaky legs and waves of panic. I haven’t been sleeping well and I feel like my whole body is in shock. I know heartbreak can cause these things, but it’s been really intense and hard to manage.

I’m just struggling emotionally and physically with the sudden loss and the shock of it all. I would really appreciate advice on how to cope, how to get through the physical symptoms, and how to deal with the feeling of losing someone so suddenly.

Thank you to anyone who reads or replies. I just really need some support from people who understand.

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I am so sorry to hear this. It sounds very painful. I have recently found seeing a psychologist helpful for a different type of trauma. This could be worthwhile in your situation. Depending on your relationships, leaning on friends and family may help. Some self care, going on walks, remembering to have some food, slow deep breathing to calm yourself, try focusing on the present moment rather than the past or future. One strategy a psychologist suggested to me was to allow myself short spaces of time (eg 15 minutes in the morning and evening) to think about it to try to stop it overwhelming your whole day. I have also attained medication from my GP to help with sleep (at least for the short term). It may be worth a visit to the GP to see if that is right for you and whether you should have a mental health plan to access a psychologist more affordably.