Lost without beloved pet of 20 yrs

[Guest_32805485]

I recently quite suddenly and unexpectedly lost my beloved pet of 20 yrs.

It was quite traumatic, trying to save him.

I don't know how to exist without him. He is.......was.....my best friend.

I don't know that I want to know how to exist without him.

I either cry or feel numb, like nothing matters anymore.

I feel guilty for not saving him, not that he could be. Like it's my fault.

How do I stop the pain?

My heart is broken and I know it will never again feel whole, not without him.

He got me through some of the worst days of my life. And I don't know how to survive without him. He was what kept me going, my strength.

He tried to stay....he fought.....

He has a brother who I now can't bear to be around.....I haven't seen his brother since he passed a few weeks ago. 

The thought of leaving the house ever again makes me feel nauseous and my chest feel tight and funny.

I haven't told anyone. I don't know how to. It's like....once I do.... There's no turning back and he's really gone forever. I don't want to talk to my friends. Only the two people I live with (husband and dad) and one friend.

My dog hates me. I don't blame him. I hate me for not being able to save him, for not being 15 minutes earlier and he wouldn't have been right there for it to happen.

[indigo22]

Hello,

Welcome, I'm so sorry you have had such a long wait for a reply.

Our pets can mean the world to us, especially when they have helped us through a challenging time. I can relate to your pain as I lost my 16yo cat about 6 months ago and she had helped me through the worst patch of my life as well. It took me two weeks before I could even consider moving her food and water bowls.

Your pet had a long life and I get the feeling that they were loved and cherished for all those years.

How could a pet hate you after all you had meant to each other, they just don't think that way, that is a human way of thinking so please try to focus on the love you shared and try not to be so hard on yourself.

It is still very early in the grieving process and it will take time. They do leave a hole in our heart and our lives where they once resided which can be hard to fill, but eventually you will begin to feel better with time.

Perhaps your pets brother will be the one to help you heal, after all he is grieving a loss too and needs love to help him heal. They offer so much unconditional love to us, he needs a little of that now too.

Feeling some level of guilt may have its place at times, but dwelling in that emotion will become destructive if you allow it to linger too long.

I hope you begin to feel just a little better each day.

indigo 🌹