Loss of family

[PippiJanet]

Last year I lost my family. I ended an abusive marriage and my adult children now don't want me in their lives. My first grandchild was born in February nd I am facing Christmas without the joy of him being in my life. My ex has to be 'right and will say anything to discredit me. I don't understand this level of cruelty.

[geoff]

Hello PippiJanet, a warm welcome and thank you for being so brave to post your comment.

I'm pleased that you're 'abusive marriage' has ended, but upset that your adult children don't want to contact you but you maybe unsure of what they have been told by your ex who you say is discrediting you.

This can happen by ways of helping them out financially, that I don't know or by other means, maybe you can let us know and what's happened why they don't talk to you.

Take care.

Geoff.

1800RESPECT. 1800 737 732

[Ggrand]

Dear PippiJane,

A very warm and caring welcome to Beyond Blue Forums..

I am deeply sorry this has happened to you..

I was in an abusive marriage for 38 years...until my husband passed away...

After that my children cut contact of with me, which meant that I couldn’t see my children or grandchildren....for years..

I am not sure why they did that, they witnessed me being abused ...as well as they received much abuse as well..

They blamed me for their horrible childhood, and found out about a secret my husband and I was hiding from them....I think they hated me...Which I didn’t really blame them..they had a hard and a bit of violence towards them in their upbringing..

My msgs and phone calls went unanswered...I had given up on seeing them ever again...So I wrote one last msg to them..saying I love them deeply..and if ever they ever need me I will always be there for them unconditionally...

It took a long time, then one of them rang me, he needed me..and I was only to happy to help..I traveled the 7 hours to his place...then helped him the best I can...Went back home, then no contact again....Then my daughter got sick, I was needed to watch his children for a while..back down I went, and this time we started reconnecting again...

Now both my children, contact me regularly mostly by message, I am very happy about..Maybe we don’t talk to each other by phone..but at least I know they are safe, happy and know I’m always here if they need me..

I am not sure but maybe your children need time to process everything...Just letting them know that you love them deeply and will be there for them unconditionally might help them to remember all you’ve done for them...

I am sorry your husband is discrediting you, to them..I hope eventually that they will find out that he is doing this falsely. The truth always seems to come out in the end...

Please Dear PippiJane...Don’t ever give up hope of seeing your children or grandchild..Keep letting them know you love them and will always be there for them...There will come a time that they will need you...I’m wishing and hoping that it will be sometime soon...

My kindest and caring thoughts..

Grandy..